The [rest of the] Week in Stupid.

Apparently there was a presidents day sale on stupid this week, Say something dumb, get something dumber for free. I already had to split "this week in stupid" in half so as to not get over loaded. And yet its not even 3 o'clock on Friday yet (at least as I start typing this) and I've already got an even longer second half of the week. (also before I forget, for some reason the first half of the weeks post got covered with a white background on a lot of the text making it very hard to read, that's been corrected so if you didnt or couldnt read it before, try again by clicking the above link)

So anyways let the cavalcade of cretins begin (again)!!!!!!

First up, honestly a nobody, in that he's not famous yet, but he might be some day Erick Wyatt, who I believe intends to challenge Senate Minority Whip (and professional crazy person John Cornyn. Now I say believe because that appears to be the consensus about what Mr. Wyatt was trying to do, the problem is that on his filing he claimed he was running for the "Republoican" nomination.

Yea see, if you want to run for office, actually knowing how to spell the name of the party you want to run for is kinda a big help. And speaking as someone who has a spelling disability, if you cant do it, get a friend to check your paperwork first.....or even just write the stuff in Microsoft word. Just saying your not off to a great start.....

Next up, an unprecedented second double nomination in the same week. This time to Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley, who had a rather rough Wednesday.

See first (or at least reported first) Chuck Grassley had a town hall in which he was asked this question

"They’re saying that they’re going to start, in 2013, putting microchips in government workers and then any kid that enrolls in school, starting in pre-school, will have a microchip implanted in them so that they can track them. [...] Is that true?"

Now Grassley gave the following answer:

"No. First of all, nothing can be done to your body without your permission. It’d be a violation of the constitutional right to privacy if that were to happen."

Now to be fair, Grassley is 100% correct in his argument. There is however one small problem, the first mention of the constitutional right to privacy was in the Supreme Court case Roe V Wade, that legalized abortion. Multiple pro choice organizations have rated Senator Grassley a "0" or "F" in terms of his support for right to choose as he has dedicated much of his senatorial career to attempting to overturn Roe v Wade and using his seat on the Senate Judiciary Committee to grill federal court nominees on their potential stands on Roe v Wade. Which apparently he has never read, so doesnt know that's were the right to privacy come from OR is actually dedicated to removing the road block to forcing your children to be Microchipped.

Second up, that same day, at the same town hall, responding to a different question, this time about why he didnt support the Violence Against Women Act, Senator Grassley said this

"One provision that non-Native Americans can be tried in tribal court. And why is that a big thing? Because of the constitutionality of it, for two reasons. One, you know how the law is, that if you have a jury, the jury is supposed to be a reflection of society. [...] So you get non-Indians, let me say to make it easy, you get non-Indians going into a reservation and violating a woman. They need to be prosecuted. They aren’t prosecuted. So the idea behind [VAWA] is we’ll try them in tribal court. But under the laws of our land, you got to have a jury that is a reflection of society as a whole, and on an Indian reservation, it’s going to be made up of Indians, right? So the non-Indian doesn’t get a fair trial."
Yea um on that bolded part, I think i can dig up a few million or so black people who might be able to explain to you how thats not the case....or Women....or Latinos......or well anyone who's not a white man.

Hell I can even dig up some lawyers who will likely tell you one of the major goals of jury selection is to get a jury you believe will be able to connect with your client, even if only on racial or gender lines.

So yea, apparently its not just Roe V Wade he hasnt read, its the entire Constitution, or at least the 6th amendment,  you know the things he checks to make sure judges understand before he confirms them,  that might be hard to do since he's never read it.

Next up on the motorcade of the moronic Congressman Louie Gomert, explaining why you need to buy a gun and why your right to do so should never even be the slightest bit infringed.

"[The Second Amendment] is for our protection and the founders’ quotes make that very very clear and including against a government that would run amuck. We’ve got some people who think Sharia Law should be the law of the land, forget the Constitution. But the guns are there… to make sure all of the rest of the Amendments are followed."

I'm pretty sure the only people who think Sharia law should be the law of the land are either the sources right wingers make up in order to scare you into voting for them (since no one agrees with them on any issue) and/or the voices in your head.

Also as far a suggesting shooting people who practice different religions 1) I think your kinda forgetting to follow the other amendments (namely the first) and 2) Oak Creek mean anything to you congressman? If it doesnt I would tell you to look it up, but I know you wont because you clearly hate reading and facts, and you dont read my blog anyways since I use words larger then one syllable.

And up next, a history making first for this blog, the first ever Third nomination in a single week (see this week in stupid part 1 for the other two), to FOX news. This time it was contributor Lisa Daftari taking about the expansion of Al Jazeera into US markets.

"They’re apparently expanding to eight cities, including Detroit, Michigan. Detroit, Michigan is a large ex-pat community of Muslim-Americans and sleeper cells have been detected. You can Google this, you can find out all this information. So if you’re trying to set yourself apart the Qatari petro-dollars are backing this, you’re still developing in this area where the sleeper cells have been detected."

Now to be fair to Mrs. Daft-and-airy I did once hear of  Muslim Sleeper cell being run out of Detroit ...the problem? it was run by this guy:

WWE's Muhammad Hassan, Billed from Detroit

And he hasnt been on TV since 2005. But no I get it, all Muslims are anti american and all the ones here in major cities are sleeper agents trying to kill up.

By the way who wants to be the one to tell Mrs. Daftari that the number two shareholder in the company she works for is this guy:

Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal, Second largest shareholder in FOX's Parent company Newscorp.

Maybe Mrs. Daftari is actually a Muslim sleeper. I mean look at her boss....and her name? that's totally not an american name, in fact according to her bio it's Iranian......

but hey, luckily to work at fox you only need to look hot and be like Ron Burgundy and read what ever is on the teleprompter without thinking about it.

Look hot? Check. Brainless? check. You're hired, welcome to FOX.

Next up, and our winner for Dick of the week, even if he didnt get Stupidest person of the week, Senator John McCain.

Caren Teves lost her son in the Aurora movie theater Shooting, and sent Senator McCain a letter about her son's death and asked McCain why he wont support the Assault Weapons Ban. The letter he sent back didnt mention the Ban or Aurora and was all about Newtown. BUT that's not the end of the story.

Mrs. Teves also recently attended a Town Hall hosted by McCain, and again explained what happened to her son, and asked about McCain's refusal to support the Assault Weapons Ban. McCain's reply?

"I can tell you right now you need some straight talk..." 

Actually you know what, let me stop you right there Senator. You know how when you get back to some hot girl's place, and she goes into the bathroom and changes into what she thinks is sexy lingerie and kinda slinks out of the bathroom and asks you what you think? Well you know how "You look like a gutter slut" is the wrong answer.

Yea same deal with telling any one who just lost a kid "I can tell right now you need some straight talk".

Especially given what you followed it up with:

“I can tell you right now you need some straight talk. That assault weapons ban will not pass the Congress of the United States.”

Yea see thats kinda WHY shes asking you the question, telling her basically he question is stupid and thats straight talk she needs to hear really is a dick move.

Next up the final nominee for this part of the week, and once again making history as I give yet another nomination to FOX news, (their 4th of the week....btw if anyone at FOX is reading this and you want to know why your ratings are at a 12 year low, I can think of at least 4 reasons) this time to Bob Beckel and "the five".

Now for those who dont know Mr. Beckel he's one of the 5 hosts of the show "the Five" and his role is to pretend to be the liberal one, by saying things conservatives pretend liberals would say like saying in reference to Julian Assange that because he [Beckel] was anti death penalty the only thing to do would be "illegally shoot the son of a bitch" referred to Jews at a Romney fundraiser as "a bunch of diamond merchants we don’t know the names of. "and suggest all nudists were "probably gang-banged [as children], I don't know!" Now to be fair, those quotes are just from when he is on the five, every time hes on another show he gives the standard conservative line. In fact he is the guest in the video embedded in this post who cant possibly agree with Bill O'Reily more about something Bill was wrong about and everyone else already knew

In otherwords if this guy is a liberal I'm Batman AND Spiderman.

Now thats just the context for this next quote, said earlier this week while pretending to play the role of a liberal trying to explain why colleges shouldnt allow for conceal carry to stop rape?

"When's the last time you heard about rape on a college campus?"

Which of course led to absolute shock from the rest of the panel.

now of course as Mr. Beckel, and the rest of the Five well know, College campuses are where women are MOST likely to get raped, and usually through non violent means (roofies).

Luckily for all of us Mr. Beckel's not too good with his assignment to pretend to be a liberal so the stuff he says comes across as so stupid it just gets laughed at. But I'd say it says something about how FOX views its own viewers that they think their viewers are stupid enough to fall for his act.

BUT at the end of the day, while McCain and Beckel may need to fight it out for "Dick of the week" our stupidest person of the week is still Rep. Mary Sue McClurkin, who won the first part of the week with her comment about Babies being organs.

Sorry guys, better luck next time.