The first 2016 Presidential Debate Awards pt 2: HILLARY WINS! FATALITY

Welcome back to the 1st 2016 presidential debate award show. When we last left, things were going pretty even for out two condenters…..but now, the fun part really begins…..unless you’re a Donald trump fan in which case this is going to be painful. (for those who missed part 1 it can be found Here


Lets begin with

The “Dine and Dash” award.
This one goes to Trump, after being presented with the following story by Clinton

“I've met dishwashers, painters, architects, glass installers, marble installers, drapery installers, like my dad was, who you refused to pay when they finished the work that you asked them to do.

We have an architect in the audience who designed one of your clubhouses at one of your golf courses. It's a beautiful facility. It immediately was put to use. And you wouldn't pay what the man needed to be paid, what he was charging you to do...

TRUMP: Maybe he didn't do a good job and I was unsatisfied with his work...

CLINTON: Well, to...

TRUMP: Which our country should do, too.”

Yep, that’s Donald Trump saying it’s a good idea to NOT pay people for services rendered….and that this should be applied to us at a national level, like say with the debt. It’s a wonder this man went bankrupt 4 times.

Next up:
The “soundbite you will hear in every opposition ad moving forward” award,

Again this award goes to Donald Trump for this line:

We're just opening up on Pennsylvania Avenue right next to the White House, so if I don't get there one way, I'm going to get to Pennsylvania Avenue another.

This line comes across as Trump trying to sound like he’’s outsmarted the world…..without realizing how stupid and arrogant this sounds. Not to mention equating a hotel he doesn’t actually own is the same as the white house.

Next up,

The “product placement” award

This one actually doesn’t go to a candidate, it goes to NBC’s Law and Order series, as plugged by Donald Trump:

TRUMP: Well, first of all, Secretary Clinton doesn't want to use a couple of words, and that's law and order. And we need law and order. If we don't have it, we're not going to have a country.

And when I look at what's going on in Charlotte, a city I love, a city where I have investments, when I look at what's going on throughout various parts of our country, whether it's -- I mean, I can just keep naming them all day long -- we need law and order in our country.

I just got today the, as you know, the endorsement of the Fraternal Order of Police, we just -- just came in. We have endorsements from, I think, almost every police group, very -- I mean, a large percentage of them in the United States.

We have a situation where we have our inner cities, African- Americans, Hispanics are living in he'll because it's so dangerous. You walk down the street, you get shot.

In Chicago, they've had thousands of shootings, thousands since January 1st.Thousands of shootings. And I'm saying, where is this? Is this a war-torn country? What are we doing? And we have to stop the violence. We have to bring back law and order. In a place like Chicago, where thousands of people have been killed, thousands over the last number of years, in fact, almost 4,000 have been killed since Barack Obama became president, over -- almost 4,000 people in Chicago have been killed. We have to bring back law and order. […]

TRUMP: But we need -- Lester, we need law and order. And we need law and order in the inner cities, because the people that are most affected by what's happening are African-American and Hispanic people. And it's very unfair to them what our politicians are allowing to happen.

For those too lazy to count, that’s 7 plugs for Law and Order in a matter of minutes

Next up

The “giving away the high ground" award

And again this award goes to Donald Trump. Ok so if there is one thing most right wingers believe, its that Hillary Clinton wants to steal your guns away from you and Donald Trump doesn’t. This is even the rational used by the NRA to endorse Trump over Clinton….then this happened.

First Clinton said this:
“And we finally need to pass a prohibition on anyone who's on the terrorist watch list from being able to buy a gun in our country. If you're too dangerous to fly, you are too dangerous to buy a gun. So there are things we can do, and we ought to do it in a bipartisan way.”

Which then led Trump to say:
“First of all, I agree, and a lot of people even within my own party want to give certain rights to people on watch lists and no- fly lists. I agree with you. When a person is on a watch list or a no-fly list, and I have the endorsement of the NRA, which I'm very proud of.”

Now because he pulls a trump and fails to complete his sentence, it could be argued it’s a bit unclear, but basically it seems like Trump just said he agrees with Hillary on gun control.

Especially when he followed it with this:
“Well, I'm talking about taking guns away from gangs and people that use them. And I don't think -- I really don't think you disagree with me on this, if you want to know the truth.”

Now again, thanks to Trump’s limited speaking abilities its not clear who “people that use them” are…..but its apparently a wide range of gun owners outside of the previously mentioned groups.

So yea, 2nd amendment people, why are you voting Trump? He just said, twice, he’s coming for your guns as hard as Clinton would.

Next up,
the “reversal of the night” award

This one goes to Hillary Clinton, for what in all honesty I think is the best political debate maneuver shes ever had. It started when Trump said this:

“And I will tell you, you look at the inner cities -- and I just left Detroit, and I just left Philadelphia, and I just -- you know, you've seen me, I've been all over the place. You decided to stay home, and that's OK. But I will tell you, I've been all over. And I've met some of the greatest people I'll ever meet within these communities. And they are very, very upset with what their politicians have told them and what their politicians have done.”

To which Hillary said:

“I think -- I think -- I think Donald just criticized me for preparing for this debate. And, yes, I did. And you know what else I prepared for? I prepared to be president. And I think that's a good thing.”

Now not only did this get applause from the people in the hall, I think its genius because I don’t think Trump was criticizing Clinton for preparing, I think he was trying to critize her for taking time off when she was sick. But he was Inarticulate (because hes trump) so Clinton managed to slam him hard on an attack he didn’t mean to make, and one that, even days after the debate hes taking heat for and has no defense for.

So yea, big win for Clinton on that one.

Speaking of big wins for Clinton……its time to get to Birtherism:

First up
the “Please stop asking me about this award”

Not shockingly this one goes to Trump, for when he was asked why he suddenly decided Obama was a citizen and said this:

“When I got involved, I didn't fail. I got him to give the birth certificate. So I'm satisfied with it. And I'll tell you why I'm satisfied with it.

HOLT: That was...

TRUMP: Because I want to get on to defeating ISIS, because I want to get on to creating jobs, because I want to get on to having a strong border, because I want to get on to things that are very important to me and that are very important to the country.”

That’s literally Trump saying “Im satisfied with it because Id rather not talk about it anymore. Plus this was a dead issue when Obama produced his birth certificate.

Sadly for him, Lester Holt called out the chronological lie here, which leads into our next award

The “I did not prep for this shit AT ALL” award

HOLT: I will let you respond. It's important. But I just want to get the answer here. The birth certificate was produced in 2011. You've continued to tell the story and question the president's legitimacy in 2012, '13, '14, '15...

TRUMP: Yeah.

HOLT: .... as recently as January. So the question is, what changed your mind?

TRUMP: Well, nobody was pressing it, nobody was caring much about it. I figured you'd ask the question tonight, of course. But nobody was caring much about it. But I was the one that got him to produce the birth certificate. And I think I did a good job.

Secretary Clinton also fought it. I mean, you know -- now, everybody in mainstream is going to say, oh, that's not true. Look, it's true. Sidney Blumenthal sent a reporter -- you just have to take a look at CNN, the last week, the interview with your former campaign manager. And she was involved. But just like she can't bring back jobs, she can't produce.


This time Trump’s answer has two parts….once again he says he basically only “changed” his mind cause he wasn’t getting any real media attention for it….but more problematic is his claim that he “assumed” the question was coming.

And its problematic because, if you assumed this question was coming, WHY DIDN’T HE HAVE AN ANWSER READY TO GO?, cause all he had was “Please can we not talk about this” and tried to change subjects.

Seriously how bad do you have to be to fail the question you openly claim you knew was coming?

Next up,

The “NO FATTIES” award.

Anyone want to take a while guess who gets this one? Yep, its trump……but probably not for the bit your expecting (I’ll get to rosie later), instead it goes to this bit:

“I don't think anybody knows it was Russia that broke into the DNC. She's saying Russia, Russia, Russia, but I don't -- maybe it was. I mean, it could be Russia, but it could also be China. It could also be lots of other people. It also could be somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds, OK?”

I guess in Trump world, the only people good with computers are super fat (and implied) losers. Well there goes the youth vote. Also makes this next bit kinda awkward:

I have a son. He's 10 years old. He has computers. He is so good with these computers, it's unbelievable. The security aspect of cyber is very, very tough. And maybe it's hardly doable.

So I guess Trump’s 10 year old son is 400lbs?

Next, the “What are you waiting for” award

And Trump’s streak continues.

In addition to the previously mentioned Email thing, Donald Trump also says he’d have done better if only he’d been able to bring up Benghazi…..well about that:

“Or, as I've been saying for a long time, and I think you'll agree, because I said it to you once, had we taken the oil -- and we should have taken the oil -- ISIS would not have been able to form either, because the oil was their primary source of income. And now they have the oil all over the place, including the oil -- a lot of the oil in Libya, which was another one of her disasters.”

And then the conversation moved on. Where’s the follow up? You want to talk about Benghazi, that was your chance….so what were you waiting for?

To be honest, I think trump was getting tired….cause from this point on his debate performance starts decline at an accelerated pace, which leads to our next award.

The “I’d Like to phone a friend” award:

Seriously. At one point Donald Trump actually asked people to call someone else rather than have him defend his own bullshit.

“I then spoke to Sean Hannity, which everybody refuses to call Sean Hannity. I had numerous conversations with Sean Hannity at Fox. And Sean Hannity said -- and he called me the other day -- and I spoke to him about it -- he said you were totally against the war, because he was for the war.

HOLT: Why is your judgment better than...

TRUMP: And when he -- excuse me. And that was before the war started. Sean Hannity said very strongly to me and other people -- he's willing to say it, but nobody wants to call him. I was against the war. He said, you used to have fights with me, because Sean was in favor of the war.

And I understand that side, also, not very much, because we should have never been there. But nobody called Sean Hannity. And then they did an article in a major magazine, shortly after the war started. I think in '04. But they did an article which had me totally against the war in Iraq.

And one of your compatriots said, you know, whether it was before or right after, Trump was definitely -- because if you read this article, there's no doubt. But if somebody -- and I'll ask the press -- if somebody would call up Sean Hannity, this was before the war started. He and I used to have arguments about the war. I said, it's a terrible and a stupid thing. It's going to destabilize the Middle East. And that's exactly what it's done. It's been a disaster.”

For those counting at home, that is 4 times Trump begged someone to let him phone a friend….because debates are hard.

And it only got harder, with our next award

The “they arnt laughing with you” award.

This award again goes to Trump who in the span of a couple of seconds got laughed at by the audience…..twice (although admittedly Clinton gets the assist for one of those)

“TRUMP: Well, I have much better judgment than she does. There's no question about that. I also have a much better temperament than she has, you know?

(LAUGHTER)

I have a much better -- she spent -- let me tell you -- she spent hundreds of millions of dollars on an advertising -- you know, they get Madison Avenue into a room, they put names -- oh, temperament, let's go after -- I think my strongest asset, maybe by far, is my temperament. I have a winning temperament. I know how to win. She does not have a...”

Yea, you can see how great Trump’s temperament is, just by looking at the change in his ability to complete a sentence once the audience started laughing……look how flustered he got. And then Clinton comes along for the kill:

“HOLT: Secretary Clinton?

TRUMP: Wait. The AFL-CIO the other day, behind the blue screen, I don't know who you were talking to, Secretary Clinton, but you were totally out of control. I said, there's a person with a temperament that's got a problem.

HOLT: Secretary Clinton?

CLINTON: Whew, OK.

(LAUGHTER)”

This by the way is the now infamous “shimmy” people are talking about for this debate……just to give full context.

So yea, that’s trump getting mocked twice….and the nights not over yet.

The “WAR! HUH, GOOD GOD YALL, What is it good for?” Award

Do I even have to say who’s winning this one? Yep the Trump streak continues. Although this moment appears to have slipped under most people’s radars it seems, Donald Trump has no idea what might or might not start a war.

CLINTON: The other day, I saw Donald saying that there were some Iranian sailors on a ship in the waters off of Iran, and they were taunting American sailors who were on a nearby ship. He said, you know, if they taunted our sailors, I'd blow them out of the water and start another war. That's not good judgment.

TRUMP: That would not start a war.

CLINTON: That is not the right temperament to be commander-in- chief, to be taunted. And the worst part...

TRUMP: No, they were taunting us.”

So yea, in Trump world blowing soldiers up wouldn’t piss off their government, because they were “taunting” us and no taunt can ever ever ever ever ever ever ever go unanswered (Im pretty sure that’s actually the Trump family motto by the way) and of course the other government would totally see it that way too…..

Next we reach a moment that will go down in the record books…..

The “Fastest flip flop in the history of mankind award”

Which happened when Trump said this:

“I agree with her on one thing. The single greatest problem the world has is nuclear armament, nuclear weapons, not global warming, like you think and your -- your president thinks.”

So in the course of a single sentence, Trump agrees with Hillary that nukes are the greatest problem, then disagrees with Hillary actually having said that and instead says he disagrees with her because she believes something else.

And all of this is about 15 seconds…..which Ive seen a couple of places claim is actually the legit record for fastest flip flop in a presidential debate in history (no idea if they are right though)….just saying.

And by the way…..Trumps logical issues are about to get whole hell of a lot worse

Our next award

The “Word Salad” award.

Trump picks this one up for this exchange near the end of the debate:

“HOLT: Which leads to my next question, as we enter our last segment here (inaudible) the subject of securing America. On nuclear weapons, President Obama reportedly considered changing the nation's longstanding policy on first use. Do you support the current policy? Mr. Trump, you have two minutes on that.

TRUMP: Well, I have to say that, you know, for what Secretary Clinton was saying about nuclear with Russia, she's very cavalier in the way she talks about various countries. But Russia has been expanding their -- they have a much newer capability than we do. We have not been updating from the new standpoint.

I looked the other night. I was seeing B-52s, they're old enough that your father, your grandfather could be flying them. We are not -- we are not keeping up with other countries. I would like everybody to end it, just get rid of it. But I would certainly not do first strike.

I think that once the nuclear alternative happens, it's over. At the same time, we have to be prepared. I can't take anything off the table. Because you look at some of these countries, you look at North Korea, we're doing nothing there. China should solve that problem for us. China should go into North Korea.China is totally powerful as it relates to North Korea.

And by the way, another one powerful is the worst deal I think I've ever seen negotiated that you started is the Iran deal. Iran is one of their biggest trading partners. Iran has power over North Korea.

And when they made that horrible deal with Iran, they should have included the fact that they do something with respect to North Korea. And they should have done something with respect to Yemen and all these other places.

And when asked to Secretary Kerry, why didn't you do that? Why didn't you add other things into the deal? One of the great giveaways of all time, of all time, including $400 million in cash. Nobody's ever seen that before. That turned out to be wrong. It was actually $1.7 billion in cash, obviously, I guess for the hostages. It certainly looks that way.

So you say to yourself, why didn't they make the right deal? This is one of the worst deals ever made by any country in history. The deal with Iran will lead to nuclear problems. All they have to do is sit back 10 years, and they don't have to do much.

HOLT: Your two minutes is expired.

TRUMP: And they're going to end up getting nuclear. I met with Bibi Netanyahu the other day. Believe me, he's not a happy camper.”

So 3 things are clear here….one Trump keeps contradicting himself (for example how much money was in that deal?, Does China control North Korea, or does Iran),

Second apparently Iran runs the world and influences everything. They must be the illuminati

But last and most important…holy fucking crap does Trump clearly not know anything about the policy.

Next up….

The “wait, where the f*ck am I?” award.

I’m pretty sure there was a moment right near the end of the debate in which Trump may have straight out forgotten where he was or what he was doing.

HOLT: Mr. Trump, this year Secretary Clinton became the first woman nominated for president by a major party. Earlier this month, you said she doesn't have, quote, "a presidential look." She's standing here right now. What did you mean by that?

TRUMP: She doesn't have the look. She doesn't have the stamina. I said she doesn't have the stamina. And I don't believe she does have the stamina. To be president of this country, you need tremendous stamina.

HOLT: The quote was, "I just don't think she has the presidential look."

TRUMP: You have -- wait a minute. Wait a minute, Lester. You asked me a question. Did you ask me a question?

You have to be able to negotiate our trade deals. You have to be able to negotiate, that's right, with Japan, with Saudi Arabia. I mean, can you imagine, we're defending Saudi Arabia? And with all of the money they have, we're defending them, and they're not paying? All you have to do is speak to them. Wait. You have so many different things you have to be able to do, and I don't believe that Hillary has the stamina.

Notice what happened when the moderator tried to feed Trump his own quote….Trump appears to straight up get confused as to what’s going on…asking if he was asked a question….then proceeds to give an answer (about Trade Deals) that was actually relevant to the previous question….only to top himself at the very end (“Wait.”) and actually restate his original claim.



Next up, our last award,

The “Boy who cried Bitch” award.

Again, add this one to the pile for Trump. So Trump was attacked by Hillary for the things he said about women and his defense was:

“TRUMP: You know, Hillary is hitting me with tremendous commercials. Some of it's said in entertainment. Some of it's said -- somebody who's been very vicious to me, Rosie O'Donnell, I said very tough things to her, and I think everybody would agree that she deserves it and nobody feels sorry for her.

But you want to know the truth? I was going to say something...

HOLT: Please very quickly.

TRUMP: ... extremely rough to Hillary, to her family, and I said to myself, "I can't do it. I just can't do it. It's inappropriate. It's not nice." But she spent hundreds of millions of dollars on negative ads on me, many of which are absolutely untrue. They're untrue. And they're misrepresentations.”

Meaning Trump’s defense for I say nasty things to women was basically “yea but the bitches deserve it….buy hey, at least I’m not saying them to you….I’m just going to imply them, heh heh heh, look how clever I am”. It kinda like when a toddler trys to outsmart you by “hiding” behind the coatrack….except in trumps case no one is pretending they cant see him. And the worst part is……he’s still trying to pull this scam to convince people he didn’t massive fuck up the debate. So now of course, Miss Universe, Miss Australia, and others are major scandals for Trump. Though you have to enjoy the irony of a bunch of beauty queens taking out Trump.



So there you have it folks, the first 2016 Presidential Debate awards…..join us for the 2nd award show in about 2 weeks, when the remaining pieces of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton face off yet again.

The first 2016 Presidential Debate Awards pt 1: ROUND 1 FIGHT!

Earlier this week was the first 2016 Presidential Debate, featuring “The Lady in Red” Hillary Clinton and the “Asshole of Orange” Donald J Trump (by the way, how come Trump got introduced with a middle initial, and Hillary didn’t? just wondering).

Now because this was a long debate, its going to take multiple blogs to cover this…..But to make it more fun it will be following the format I used with the last few GOP debate, a fake award show, so here we go with the first part of the 1st 2016 Presidential Debate Awards.

First we start early on in the debate with

The “mean girl” trying to make “fetch” happen award:


This award goes to Hillary Clinton for her multiple attempts to try to introduce a new catch phrase: Trumped up trickle down.

The first reference to this was early on in the debate, when Clinton said

“We also, though, need to have a tax system that rewards work and not just financial transactions. And the kind of plan that Donald has put forth would be trickle-down economics all over again. In fact, it would be the most extreme version, the biggest tax cuts for the top percent of the people in this country than we've ever had.

I call it trumped-up trickle-down, because that's exactly what it would be. That is not how we grow the economy.”

Then again about 10 minutes later:

“$4 billion tax benefit for your family. And when you look at what you are proposing...

TRUMP: How much? How much for my family?

CLINTON: ... it is...

TRUMP: Lester, how much?

CLINTON: ... as I said, trumped-up trickle-down. Trickle-down did not work. It got us into the mess we were in, in 2008 and 2009. Slashing taxes on the wealthy hasn't worked.”

Thing is, Trumped up trickle down is neither catchy, funny, short, or rolls off the tongue. So lets hope Hillary stops trying to make it happen.

Then the “I’m and oxymoron award”

And Donald Trump gets on the board with his first award.

When asked about his plan to grow jobs Donald Trump said this:

So Ford is leaving. You see that, their small car division leaving. Thousands of jobs leaving Michigan, leaving Ohio. They're all leaving. And we can't allow it to happen anymore. […] We cannot let [businesses leaving the country] happen. Under my plan, I'll be reducing taxes tremendously, from 35 percent to 15 percent for companies, small and big businesses. That's going to be a job creator like we haven't seen since Ronald Reagan. It's going to be a beautiful thing to watch.

Then later he said this:

“Well, the first thing you do is don't let the jobs leave. The companies are leaving. I could name, I mean, there are thousands of them. They're leaving, and they're leaving in bigger numbers than ever.

And what you do is you say, fine, you want to go to Mexico or some other country, good luck. We wish you a lot of luck. But if you think you're going to make your air conditioners or your cars or your cookies or whatever you make and bring them into our country without a tax, you're wrong.”

Now heres the issue, and we can even use Trump’s example of Ford. When Ford moves their manufacturing to Mexico, they will still be headquartered in the United States. Meaning under Trump’s plan their taxes will go down significantly as they are an American company.

But by manufacturing in Mexico, Ford’s taxes should go up significantly under Trump’s plan because they are making things in Mexico and bringing them back here.

So yea, which is it? Are business taxes going up or down under Trump?

Next up, another award to Trump, this time the


“I see you riding round time with the girl I love and I’m like FUCK YOU!” award

This award comes from the following exchange

“Clinton: […]In fact, Donald was one of the people who rooted for the housing crisis. He said, back in 2006, "Gee, I hope it does collapse, because then I can go in and buy some and make some money." Well, it did collapse.

TRUMP: That's called business, by the way.”


Making money on your getting fucked, that’s good business to Trump. Makes you wonder if he has a chance to make money as president but fuck you over as a result, will he take it?

I don’t know but I’m pretty sure his new campaign slogan is “Fuck you, make money”

The Award:

And it’s Trump with a threepeate as he again interrupts Clinton.

Clinton: Donald thinks that climate change is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese. I think it's real.

TRUMP: I did not. I did not. I do not say that.

CLINTON: I think science is real.

TRUMP: I do not say that.”

Now for the record, he did say that [insert tweet], beyond that the clip in the award name sums up exactly how I think Trump came off in this bit.



And in the

Award.

This one happened to many people immediately following this exchange:

“CLINTON: So we have taken the home page of my website, HillaryClinton.com, and we've turned it into a fact-checker. So if you want to see in real-time what the facts are, please go and take a look. Because what I have proposed...

TRUMP: And take a look at mine, also, and you'll see.”

Well it turns out, a lot of people did that.

And well only one of the candidates websites was up to the task, and people suddenly noticed that Donald Trump’s website had crashed….in fact it had crashed when the debate started, just from that traffic, let alone when Donald directed people too it.


Speaking of directing people to websites, this was not the only time this happened, which brings up to our

“Shilling for the opponent” award:

And like the last one, this one also goes to Trump, who in the very next exchange/question said:

“TRUMP: And look at her website. You know what? It's no difference than this. She's telling us how to fight ISIS. Just go to her website. She tells you how to fight ISIS on her website. “

Yep, that’s right, Donald Trump is actively encouraging you to go look as his opponents plan and see how good it is.

And he really really really wants you to do it, as nearly an hour later at the end of the debate, he comes back to it.

“Trump : I will go very quickly. But I will tell you that Hillary will tell you to go to her website and read all about how to defeat ISIS, which she could have defeated by never having it, you know, get going in the first place.”

So yea, why are you still reading this blog? GO READ HILLARY CLINTONS ISIS PLAN……..Even Donald Trump wants you to do it.

Clinton by the way openly mocked Trump after his first request to read her plan which leads directly into our next award:

“Let’s do the time warp again” Award:


CLINTON: Well, at least I have a plan to fight ISIS.

HOLT: ... achieving prosperity...

TRUMP: No, no, you're telling the enemy everything you want to do.

CLINTON: No, we're not. No, we're not.

TRUMP: See, you're telling the enemy everything you want to do. No wonder you've been fighting -- no wonder you've been fighting ISIS your entire adult life.”

Hillary Clinton is 68 years old. ISIS was founded in 2013/2014. So unless ISIS has a time machine we don’t know about, its basically impossible for ANYONE over the age of 20 to have been fighting ISIS their entire adult life.

Seriously of all the things Trump said, this may actually have been the easiest to disprove and the single most laughable claim of the debate.

This as you may have noticed if you watched the debate live was kinda the start of Trump going off the rails for the remainder of the debate.

Which brings up the next award.

The “Whiplash” award

So of course, Donald Trump was asked about his taxes and why he wont release them….and at first he stuck to his usual answer.

TRUMP: I don't mind releasing -- I'm under a routine audit. And it'll be released. And -- as soon as the audit's finished, it will be released.

Minutes later however, when pressed on the issue, things changed a bit

“I will say this. We have a situation in this country that has to be taken care of. I will release my tax returns -- against my lawyer's wishes -- when she releases her 33,000 e-mails that have been deleted. As soon as she releases them, I will release.”

So he cant release them cause of the audit…..until he can release them under audit and doesn’t want to…..any chance we can get some clarification on this Mr. trump?

Trump: Almost every lawyer says, you don't release your returns until the audit's complete. When the audit's complete, I'll do it. But I would go against them if she releases her e-mails.

So you can and cant release because of the audit, but you will and wont anyways? Thanks for clearing that up.

Incidentally between the first and second incident of whiplash here, Trump said something even worse

The “why bother not to incriminate yourself” award:


Ok so after mentioning his audit, Trump tries to go on to defend why he’s being audited…..and fails FREAKING MISERABLY.

“Trump: Well, I told you, I will release them as soon as the audit. Look, I've been under audit almost for 15 years. I know a lot of wealthy people that have never been audited. I said, do you get audited? I get audited almost every year.

And in a way, I should be complaining. I'm not even complaining. I don't mind it. It's almost become a way of life. I get audited by the IRS. But other people don't.”

So yea there is definitely something suspicious in Donald Trump’s tax returns……after all even rich people don’t get audited for 15 straight years as Trump says.

The question is really WHAT is in Trumps returns, is it that “he's not as rich as he says he is” or “maybe he's not as charitable as he claims to be.” And of course “we don't know all of his business dealings, but we have been told through investigative reporting that he owes about $650 million to Wall Street and foreign banks. Or maybe he doesn't want the American people, all of you watching tonight, to know that he's paid nothing in federal taxes.”

Its your pick which you believe….or all of them, or something else….take your pick. (and yes all the quoted parts are from Hillary Clinton after Trump said it)

And now for the biggest moment of the debate:

The “Craigslist Missed Connection” award

And this award is presented to Donald Trump. Since the debate ended Trump has been saying the debate was biased because he was never asked about Hillary’s emails. Except he was….he just neglected to answer the question.

“HOLT: He also -- he also raised the issue of your e-mails. Do you want to respond to that?

CLINTON: I do. You know, I made a mistake using a private e- mail.

TRUMP: That's for sure.

CLINTON: And if I had to do it over again, I would, obviously, do it differently. But I'm not going to make any excuses. It was a mistake, and I take responsibility for that.

HOLT: Mr. Trump?

TRUMP: That was more than a mistake. That was done purposely. OK? That was not a mistake. That was done purposely. When you have your staff taking the Fifth Amendment, taking the Fifth so they're not prosecuted, when you have the man that set up the illegal server taking the Fifth, I think it's disgraceful. And believe me, this country thinks it's -- really thinks it's disgraceful, also.

As far as my tax returns, you don't learn that much from tax returns. That I can tell you. You learn a lot from financial disclosure. And you should go down and take a look at that.

The other thing, I'm extremely underleveraged. The report that said $650 -- which, by the way, a lot of friends of mine that know my business say, boy, that's really not a lot of money. It's not a lot of money relative to what I had.

The buildings that were in question, they said in the same report, which was -- actually, it wasn't even a bad story, to be honest with you, but the buildings are worth $3.9 billion. And the $650 isn't even on that. But it's not $650. It's much less than that. […]

To be honest this answer continues in a similar vein for many many more paragraphs….because it’s the inherent problem of Trump, no insult can go unanswered…..even at the cost of all else.

Now it should be noted, if there was a turning point in the debate. Up until now, to be honest Trump took some hits, and Clinton took some hits. However after this point…..the bottom fell out on Trump and he started taking shot after shot after shot……..so given the change in tone, this seems to be the best place to wrap up part 1 of this debate review.



Part 2 is already up and written and can be found here

Hillary's health proves the media is terminally ill.

If you’ve been paying any attention at all to politics recently you’ve probably heard that Hillary Clinton is about to drop dead and how this totally disqualifies her from being president. You may have even heard the Democrats are scrambling to replace her on the ballot cause they totally have to forfeit the election and take a 10 yard penalty before starting the next one.

Now what you might not know is that this is total bullshit.

Now yes its true Hillary Clinton had/has a case of pneumonia, but it turns out that the only people close to death in this story are the mainstream media.

Ok so in the last few years, the media has lost all track of its objectivity and its job, and has instead decided its real job is complete and utter neutrality in all things at all times no matter facts.

For example, if someone says the sky is blue, and another person says the sky is plaid, the media spends days digging up people they call “experts” to discuss how reasonable both sides of the debate are, and how both sides have a message that people need to hear and decide on.

At no point does the media think it might be a good idea to stick their heads out a window and look up and see for themselves what fucking color the sky is.

Because doing that would mean they would have to say one side is wrong……and that can NEVER EVER EVER EVER Happen. That is a violation of the media prime directive.

Now perhaps you’re not yet convinced so here are some real world examples:

The media tells you “Climate change isn’t a settled science” Science tells you 99% of scientists say it exists. But someone once said it wasn’t so we have to assume it’s a valid and factually based belief.

The media tells you “Planned Parenthood might be selling baby body parts.” The tapes themselves…..even the highly edited versions, say actually the place they are filming is National Abortion League and not Planned Parenthood. But hey, someone once said it was Planned Parenthood so we have to assume it’s a valid and factually based belief.

The media tells you “its possible Barack Obama might be a Muslim, we cant be sure of his faith.” The Media also tells you “Barack Obama’s Christian pastor, Rev. Wright is a raging lunatic”.

That’s right, its gotten so bad the media wont even tell you one side is provable wrong…..even when reporting on a story that one side is provable wrong. (If Obama was a muslim….he wouldn’t have a pastor…..just in case someone needs me to spell it out for them)

So when Donald Trump’s campaign started suggesting weeks ago that Hillary Clinton had suffered a major brain injury, was possible covering up a stroke, an aneurism, Parkinson’s or even had a battery installed into her brain, and she was basically days away from dying, the media treated it as a totally valid idea, despite the complete lack of evidence to support it.

Yes eventually a tape emerged that allegedly showed Clinton having a weird twitch and convulsion that appeared to look like a stroke…..and then almost as quickly the full version of that tape emerged showing the whole twitch was part of a joke Clinton was making and that the edited version had been slowed down to make the fake symptoms look more severe.

So despite being almost instantly disproving, this edited tape made the rounds on the mainstream media for days, proving that Clinton had a brain injury. No one ever bothered to mention the tape wasn’t real. Because you know that would involve taking sides.

So that’s the context, when on September 11th, Hillary Clinton collapsed at an event as a result of her symptoms of what was eventually revealed to be pneumonia.

And how did the mainstream media react? Well no less a person than Tom Brocaw said this meant Hillary Clinton should release scans of her brain to prove there was no way the [already disproven and made up] traumatic brain injury could have affected her.

Cause you know pneumonia is a sign of traumatic brain injury the same way a hang nail is a sign of having been shot in the face.

So yes, this kicked off days of debate in the mainstream media….days in which the media literally ignored EVERYTHING so they could debate the possible consequences of Hillary’s possible traumatic brain injury.

For example they wanted to know, could the Democratic Party force Hillary Clinton to withdraw. They even dug up a former head of the DNC to talk about how the Democratic Party needs to seriously consider this option.

Now by the way, a few weeks ago the media decided to talk about if the Republican Party could force Donald Trump to withdraw, and they discovered, No, by law the nomination cant be withdrawn….but the candidate can choose to withdraw it.

Now of course, if that was the law two/three weeks ago…..its still the law now. But you know mentioning that would require “taking a side” and all opinions are equally as valid fuck the facts.

They went from there to discuss, who would replace Hillary Clinton on the ticket [that she legally cant be removed from]…..cause hey why not speculate widely about shit not based in reality?

If you care by the way, the consensus candidate of the reality unbound was Vice President Joe Biden, who they decided could totally run the country for the next 8 years.

See according to the media the Vice President ALWAYS has the best chance of becoming the next president…cause that’s what the media has decided to think. Now in the reality based world, the VP has only seceded the president TWICE (baring the president dying in office), Martin Van Buren following Andrew Jackson and George H.W. Bush following Reagan……and both of them lost reelection

Anybody want to guess why these facts are never introduced into that discussion?

That’s right, cause it would mean someone would be proven wrong.

Or in this case, doubly wrong.

See lets say Hillary Cinton DID decided for no reason at all to leave the ticket……well guess what, we already know who would replace her……and its not Joe Biden. It’s Tim Kaine……you know, her running mate, the guy running for Vice President?

You all remember the Vice President right? That would be that position in the Constitution whos entire purpose is to be able to take over the job of President if the current President cant?

Like there is literally no other reason at all for a vice president to exist…..and the media of course covers the Vice Presidential selection of both major parties. But then, when the question comes up…….well they cant tell you what they reported on and why it happens cause that might mean proving someone wrong…..and that is never allowed.

Which brings up the next point……the whole reason Hillary’s health is important, according to his opponents is cause no one is sure if the country would survive if a president died in office, or even what to do.

Cause that’s never a thing that happened.
William Henry Harrison, Zachary Taylor, Abraham Lincoln, James Garfield, William McKinley, Warren Harding, Franklin Roosevelt, and Jack Kennedy all served out their terms. Richard Nixon even got his full 8 years.

So you know the whole “What do we do if the president dies thing” would be totally new and untrodded ground for this country…

But I hear what your saying, maybe they just think you cant be president if youre not 100% physically fit.


Now I have a retort to that as well, but first I need to go tell president FDR to stop break dancing and running around my house.

But hey, I mean if America’s longest serving president being confined to a wheelchair isn’t enough proof, we could also talk about the one who had a cancerous tumor removed (Cleveland) or the one who served his entire term with a terminal illness (Arthur), or the one with a horribly messed up back (Kennedy), or the one who was blind in one eye (Teddy Roosevelt) or the one with a bullet in him (Jackson….also TR). Not to mention whatever it was that Lincoln had….or Washington’s horrible scars and impotence from Smallpox. And oh yea, let us not forget the one with Alzheimer’s (Reagan)…..you know the one the entire republican party wants every president to be just like?

So as we can all see, physical fitness its just as important to being president as eye color is….maybe even slightly less so.

So yea, despite what the media tells you, Hillary Clinton doesn’t have brain damage, isn’t going to be replaced on the ticket, if she dies we have a backup plan, and we have done fantastic with less than physically fit presidents in the past.

But of course the media cant tell you this…..cause that would mean telling some folks their ideas are fucking stupid.

Luckily though, there is one person who is saving us from the cavalcade of retardation suffered by the mainstream media……Donald J. Trump, the man who started it all.

See, Trump has never met a situation he couldn’t fuck up for himself.

See not long after Hillary had her incident, Trump’s campaign started calling on her to release all of her medical records. Eventually someone had the bright idea to ask Trump’s campaign to release his.

Now this shouldn’t be a problem for Trump….after all a few months back his doctor released a statement proclaiming Trump to be the healthiest person to ever run for the presidency, while also claiming Trump tested positive on every single one of his medical tests.

Now of course back then, no one cared about medical records, so no one bothered to point out if Trump really did test positive for all his tests, that means he has HIV. Also Herpes. Also Scabies. Also Leprosy. And Cholera. And Dysentery. And Parkinson’s. And Cancer.

Cause, yea with medical tests, testing positive is NOT always a good thing.

Anyways, the fact that Trump has all these aliments probably explains why his campaign manager told reporters, that Trump would not release his medical records, and that they are covered by his right to privacy. (that scream your hearing is pro lifers around the country flipping shit at the acknowledgement of this idea)


And well if there is one thing the media likes more than total and abject neutrality in the face of faces to stave off having to do their actual jobs, its someone ELSE’s hypocrisy. So naturally they called him on this immediately.

Which led to Trump’s campaign promising he WOULD release his medical records…..on the Dr. Oz show. But that Doctor Oz wouldn’t be able to ask Trump about anything that Trump didn’t want to discuss.

Except then it turned out, Donald Trump would not be releasing his medical records on Dr. Oz’s show or anywhere else. Instead he would go on Dr. Oz’s show to answer prescreened questions about his health…..and release a summary of a doctor’s opinion of his medical records that he may or may not have seen.

Meanwhile this also takes the heat off of Hillary…and makes it hard for Trump to hit her on an issue he was winning on. Sure as a story its equally as bullshit… but it allows the media to run both a hypocrite story AND claim both sides are equally untrustworthy…..so they can be super neutral YAY.

Cause really, feeding the media’s sickness is a win for everyone *sarcasm*.