And next on the republican's failed promised agenda......Keystone XL.

So maybe late last week you saw a headline about how the House of Representatives approved the building of the controversial Keystone XL pipeline.

Well heres the thing: DOESNT MATTER.

Just like how my last blog pointed out that the GOP kinda overpromised on the whole Impeachment thing (and the whole Obamacare repeal thing). Well they kinda overpromised on the whole Keystone XL thing too. And now they are trying to cover their asses.

Although to be fair to the GOP this overpromise was a lot harder to see coming then the last one.

Ok so heres the deal, despite winning the election earlier this month, the new congress isnt actually sworn in until January. So this new "news making vote" is actually the 9th or so attempt to pass Keystone with this congress. It always passes the house and fails in the senate.

The thing is, the timing isnt an accident. Doing the vote right now is intentional. Because the problem is, this time around the bill just might pass. And for the Keystone XL supporters, that is actually looking like a bad thing

Ok so their are already 45 Republicans willing to vote yes, and the bill itself has 11 democratic cosponsors. So thats 56 yes votes. 3 more Democrat's have indicated they are willing to vote yes, which brings the total to 59....one vote short of the 60 needed to overcome a filibuster.

And its also widely believed that President Obama supports and would sign this bill, so overcoming the filibuster is the LAST hurdle before the money for this thing is approved and it gets built (and to be honest, most of the southern part has already been built, its the northern half alone thats drawing all the controversy and attention)

Now normally, this would be a great thing for the Keystone XL supporters, but there's a problem.

 

Yea it seems the American Government kinda forgot about Canada. And turns out Canada may have already killed the Keystone XL pipeline.

Ok so this gets a little complicated but let me see if i can explain.

In 2010 the "original" Keystone pipeline (KP) opened. It runs from the same spot as the Keystone XL will, but it runs east for a while inside Canada, entering the united states basically parallel with the Mississippi river, then heads south to town of Steele City Nebraska before heading off to Illinois.

The already built and operating part of the XL pipeline runs from Steele City down south to Texas.

So wheres the problem? Well the planned northern part of the XL pipeline is supposed to replace the existing KP pipeline, but unlike KP the XL pipeline is supposed to run due south into the US, then Southeast to Steele City. Now this has the advantage (from the oil companies perspective) of running through American oil fields in Baker Montana.

Now the problem that has generated so much controversy in this country is that between Baker and Steele City is one of the worlds largest reservoirs of Fresh Water, that irrigates 25% of the countries farm land and provides drinking water for the populations of 8 states. Basically the last place you can risk an oil spill.

But the Republicans and our president seem willing to take that risk. However long before the XL gets to Baker it has to pass through 300+ miles of Canada, including a couple of major Canadian fresh water reservoirs.

And unlike our government the Canadian Government sees that as a dealbreaker.

So much so that a couple of weeks ago they approved something called the Energy East Pipeline,

Now that pipeline runs from the same spot as both the KP and XL, but runs east all the way across Canada to New Brunswick just north of the American Border with Maine.  

And the most important part is Energy East is owned by the same company, Transcanada, that proposed Keystone XL.

And therein lies the problem. See Transcanda now has everything they want. A pipeline running from the oil sands in Canada to Texas (the KP and southern half of XL) and a new pipeline to handle the higher amount of oil they think they can drill (Energy East) .

So they no longer have any real reason to fight for Keystone XL.  And there is the problem for the Keystone Supporters.

See even if the Keystone XL bill passes the senate, the company behind it no longer wants to build it. and if the government builds it, it stops 300+ miles short of anything. So its kinda useless. In fact it would be the literal definition of a waste of money and resources.

So yea to avoid looking like an absolute embarrassment this bill needs to fail, but is all set to pass.

Which is the secret of the timing. With the end of the congressional session fast approaching, the president has the rare chance for something called a pocket veto.

See normally after congress passes a law the president has 10 days (12 calendar days since Sundays dont count)  to veto a bill or it becomes a law even without his signature.  But if congress should happen to be adjourned during those 10 days, like say for the holidays like Thanksgiving, if the President refuses to sign the bill it's considered vetoed.

Which is the real win win for everyone.

The President doesnt actually HAVE to veto the bill, so he cant be attacked for killing it.

But Keystone XL doesnt actually get built, which means the embarrassing secret of its uselessness stays a secret and its supporters dont get caught.

And the supporters get to trump the largely ignored construction of the southern half as the "triumph" of the bill they are going to pass on Tuesday because most people have no idea the jobs that the Keystone project are supposed to bring have already come and gone for that part of the country.

So the supporters can claim they followed through on their promise to bring jobs, and no one notices the fact the bill is officially a joke, and no one takes the hit for killing the bill.

So yea, thats how the next part of the Republican's promised agenda is going to fail......and why they probably want it to.

The Republican Impeachment trap.

So unless you've been living under a rock, you know that the next Congress will be fully republican controlled.

Which is ironic, because it looks like the first major problem facing the new Congress is going to be Republican voters.

A poll that came out yesterday survived voters on their opinion of impeaching Obama for any reason.

Nationwide, 69% said their was absolutely no reason to consider impeaching Obama.

BUT  among just republicans....50% said Obama needs to be impeached. And among the Tea Party faction of the GOP, 64% said impeach him.

And well thats real bad news for the new Republican Congress.

You see for years now Republicans have floated the idea of impeaching the president.

For example about a year ago the GOP held a close door meeting expressly for discussing that possibility. as one of the participants put it

“We’ve also talked about the I-word, impeachment, which I don’t think would get past the Senate in the current climate. . . . Is there anything else we can do?”

Before that the guy Obama beat in 2008 said that as it related to Syria

"Nor will there be American boots on the ground because there would be an impeachment of the president if they did that.”

and so on and so one.

Impeaching Obama first picked up steam in 2009 after the stimulus and Obamacare were passed.
People preaching it at the time suffered under the false impression that impeaching Obama would automatically repeal any bills he'd signed....and thats not how it works.

But despite eventually getting that fact straightened out the ferver among republicans never went away.

Now of course up till now it never mattered. As John Boehner pointed out to justify his lawsuit of the president last year, Impeachment didnt matter, because without Republican control of the senate they couldnt actually remove Obama from office. And to be fair to the speaker he was far from the first to used that justification not to impeach.

But now we have a republican senate, so clearly the first thing they are going to do is impeach obama right?

No actually. Because they cant. And for a reason so simple I need only 4 letters to explain it

MATH

Pure basic simple math.

The Constitution requires a 2/3rds majority to remove the president from office.

No matter the outcome of the two pending senate races the GOP wont have it, they will have only 52-54 senators, leaving them 12-14 votes short of impeachment.

But see even having to explain that to their supporters who believe they gave the GOP everything they needed for impeachment, isnt the GOP's biggest problem.

The GOP's biggest problem is that, there was NEVER any chance of them being able to impeach and remove the President, and anyone who can do basic math has know that since the day after election day 2012.

Ok so in this election the GOP started with 45 seats. Of the seats contested in the election 21 were Democrats.  Which means that if the GOP had run the table and defeated EVERY SINGLE DEMOCRAT, which no one expected, they would have had 66 seats.

A 2/3rds majority is 67 seats. Meaning even under the best possible conditions they would have been a single vote short.

Like I said, pure and simple math.

Simple enough that Republicans knew this. They've known it for years

But that hasnt stopped them from telling their base that if they ONLY gave them the senate they could totally impeach Obama.

Well it kinda turns out thats exactly what the party voters wanted and the voter gave them exactly what they asked for.

So now the new Republican Congress is stuck in a trap of their own making. They cant actually deliver the goods they promised, and knew that when they promised them.

It will be interesting to see how the Republican Base is going to feel about that when the truth comes out (which will be seconds after the first Republican has to make an excuse for not impeaching Obama)

Oh and if that wasnt bad enough......the other major promise the Republicans made, to repeal Obamacare....well we all know that bill is going to get vetoed.

And how many votes does it take to overcome a veto in the senate? 67.

So yea, that was another set of goods they've known for years they would never be able to deliver on and lied about it.

Which means when it comes to their own party, the new senate hasnt even been sworn in yet and things are already looking pretty bumpy........

American Jihad comes to A-blow-s........

So some of you may have heard of Dr. Keith Ablow. If not all you need to know is he's Fox News' resident on air psychiatrist. I dont mean he's the shrink the FOX guys go to, I mean he's the idiot they trot out anytime they want a psychiatrist to explain how getting your head that far up your own ass is actually the sign of a healthy mind.

Which is kinda ironic, given that if anyone in this world is a candidate for major mental help, its Dr. Ablow.

Among his "expert opinons" he's presented on FOX, he's probably most well known for: claiming, psychologically, Newt Gingrich's 3 marriages made him more qualified to be president than anyone who had only had one; and the world cup was a planned distraction by the Obama Administration so no one would notice Obama's failure in Ukraine. He's also made statements that waiting in line at the airport builds the mental discipline needed for a strong economy; that the uni-bomber might actually be on to something; and the color pink is responsible for the destruction of masculinity. Oh and also, transgender people dont actually exist, they are a myth made up by liberal educators.

Anyways he has just written his most recent column for FOX news, and honestly its kinda hilarious......if you like laughing at retarded people who publish columns for FOX news.....which I do.

His subject is on how to win the war on terror and get america back on the right track all in one fell swoop.

He begins.....

"Among the many definitions of jihad are a "war or struggle against unbelievers" and "a crusade for a principle or belief." Given those definitions, I believe it's time for an American jihad.

An American jihad would reawaken in American citizens the certain knowledge that our Constitution is a sacred document that better defines and preserves the liberty and autonomy of human beings than the charter of any other nation on earth."

Because apparently the Constitution has super powers. Its like a cross to a vampire.....if we just love it hard enough, it will create a super-shield and everything will be ok

"The Constitution, along with the miracle of our nation's founding and the providential history of America fighting and winning war after war against oppressive regimes, proves our manifest destiny not only to preserve our borders and safety and national character at home, but to spread around the world our love of individual freedom and insist on its reflection in every government."

Well the good news for the Catholic Church. Since the standard of miracle is now "shooting at people until they decide they have better things to do then shoot back....and were never fully committed to returning fire anyways" you can basically easily canonize whoever the fuck you want now. Like seriously guys, if it takes you more then 4 days to find the 2 miracles required to make whoever you want into a saint, your doing it wrong by these standards.

I also kinda like the opposing messages here.
On the one hand, we oppose oppressive regimes that force their beliefs down peoples throats. So we are going to end them by forcing our beliefs down peoples throats.....

"An American jihad would embrace the correct belief that if every nation on earth were governed by freely elected leaders and by our Constitution, the world would be a far better place. And an American jihad would not only hope for this outcome, but work toward it."

Translation" An American Jihad believes that if only every nation on earth did what we told them to do we would find we liked them better......

"We would begin at home, as every great world movement does. We would not only allow, but teach, Americans — including American children — to internalize and project their justifiable feelings of pride in our democracy as superior to all other forms of government."

Oh god damn it, who wants to explain to the good doctor we arnt actually a Democracy?

But hey I'm glad he's proud of the government he doesnt have.......

"In grade schools we would teach the truth that the founding of our nation and its survival in the face of communism and fascism weren’t just good luck or good planning, but preordained by our commitment to the truth about the essential nature of man."

That truth being unstated....because you know even he has no idea what he's talking about.

"And we would embrace the certain knowledge that history will eventually spread our values all over the globe"

Because you know, again, we HATE oppressive regimes that do that, and need to take a stand against them.

"We would tie American aid to incremental changes not just in the attitudes, but in the fundamental structures, of countries. These changes would move those countries, slowly but inexorably, toward reflecting our Constitution in their own charters"

Because like any good oppressive regime, we are going to tell the poor, sick, needy ect to fuck off and die quickly unless their leaders (who likely arnt poor, sick or needy) capitulate to our demands.

"We would unabashedly fund pro-democracy movements around the world, partly with government funding and partly with donations from American citizens. Through these donations we would seek to double the budgets of the CIA and our Special Forces, seek to fund an international mercenary force for good and provide our veterans unparalleled health care."

Hmm, donations that fund the CIA and the Military? I believe those are called TAXES you fucking moron.

Although credit where its due....the term "donations" does at least sound more patriotic......

"We would urge our leaders, after their service in the U.S. Senate and Congress, to seek dual citizenship in other nations, like France and Italy and Sweden and Argentina and Brazil and Germany, and work to influence those nations to adopt laws very much like our own. We might even fund our leaders' campaigns for office in these other nations."

Ah so lets see, we are apparently going to add a requirement to the "Sacred" text of the "perfect" Constitution requiring only US citizen's with single country citizenship can be in the congress...

But hey I guess even sacred texts have a few typos. (no one tell the members of congress with dual citizenship......Ted Cruz looking at you)

Also I like the idea we are going to show our respect for liberty by taking a dump on other countries laws......

"We would accept the fact that an American jihad could mean boots on the ground in many places in the world where human rights are being denigrated and horrors are unfolding."

Because hey, nothing says respecting human rights in fear free ways then american martial law enforced by guys with guns.

But in fairness to Dr. Ablow, our strategy of interfering with guns because its possible horrors are unfolding did bring us a stable and threat free Iraq........

"Because wherever leaders and movements appear that seek to trample upon the human spirit, we have a God-given right to intervene — because we have been to the mountaintop of freedom, and we have seen the Promised Land spanning the globe."

Oh for fucks sake.....who wants to tell the good doctor that the Promised Land is literally a term for Israel?

Because his plan for American Jihad now seems to be
1) force american culture and government down everyones throats.
2) to prove the supremacy of american cluture and government, as soon as we get done, set up a totally different culture and government (israel) to run the damn world.

I'm just saying....you'd think that would run contrary to his point.....but I assumed he had a working mind.....my mistake.

"An American jihad would never condone terrorist acts of violence against our adversaries or the targeting of people simply because their beliefs are different from ours.

Wait a minute we WONT be targeting people who's beliefs are different then ours? cause like seriously up to that sentence thats been the WHOLE FUCKING POINT of your article.

I guess the Jihad's off....everybody go home......

 "But for those who malignantly demonstrate their intentions to subjugate others, there would be no quarter." 

Because only WE are allowed to do that????? Cause again thats kinda the idea your pushing here.

Good News is: Dont leave yet guys the Jihad is ON!

"An American jihad would turn back and topple the terrible self-loathing in our citizens set in motion by President Obama, beginning with his "apology tour” — a psychological plague. It would make American pride not only acceptable, but celebrated, again. And, remember, American pride is nothing more than being proud to support truths that are self-evident, irreducible, elemental and inevitable"

Actually, to be honest, I kinda agree with Doctor Ablow on this one. See the Obama "Apology Tour" never actually happened. (do you think if it had it wouldnt have been in EVERY campaign ad of 2010, 2012 and 2014?). In fact the Obama  "Apology Tour" is basically a plague the right wing collective psychologically infected themselves with and like most psychological problems is the sign of a deceased mind and someone who may need professional help.....

"An American jihad would make every tax dollar a tithing and the squandering of those dollars a sin."

Wait, before you said they would be "donations", now suddenly taxes are tithes?
Actually to be fair, it doesnt really matter since the definition of tithes is basically "a tax"

"An American jihad would make every hour spent working in an American company — or founding one — an offering."

To whom exactly? and what am I offering them? an hour of work? Well yea I already do that, and then they pay me for that hour.....thats how fucking employment works......

"An American jihad would make every teacher of American history not only a public servant, but a servant of the Truth."

You know I have a hunch that Dr. Ablow doesnt actually personally know any "servants of truth"....

"We the People of the United States are good and we are right. And we need the spirit of an American jihad to properly invite, intensify and focus our intentions to preserve, protect and defend our Constitution here at home, and to seek to spread its principles abroad."

Because again, as divine as the Constitution is, people just cant see how great it is for them unless its shoved down their throat.

But yea, there you have it the latest ranting of the unhinged mind FOX news uses as their on air expect physiologist......