So this is the second installment of the 2016 Presidential debate awards….and this time around its going to be a much smaller “show” mostly because this debate was not the flat out meltdown the last one was. Plus the fact that both candidates dodged most of the questions doesn’t give me much to work with…..and I need good zingers or moments to make this work.
Still, I do have a bit to work with, so here we go, once again the Awards are in the order the events happened at the debate.
We start with:
The “Casual racism” award
This happened in what was basically Trump’s opening remarks, right at the end when he said:
“But I want to do things that haven’t been done, including fixing and making our inner cities better for the African-American citizens that are so great and for the Latinos, Hispanics, and I looking forward to doing- It’s called make America great again.”
Cause, as we all know, only minorities live in the inner cities….in fact the two words are interchangeable, See later one Trump said this:
“Hillary is constantly talking about the inner cities of our country which are a disaster education-wise, job-wise, safety-wise, in every way possible. I’m going to help the African-Americans, I’m going to help the Latinos, Hispanics. I am going to help the inner cities. She has done a terrible job for the African-Americans.”
Later, he did it again:
"I would be a president for all of the people. African-Americans, the inner cities. Devastating what's happening to our inner cities. She’s been talking about for years. As usual, she talks about it, nothing happens. She doesn't get it done. Same with the Latino Americans. The Hispanic Americans. The same exact thing. They talk. They don't get it done. You go into the inner cities, it's 45% poverty. African-Americans now 45% poverty in the inner cities.”
The “Blame Canada” award.
So if you’ve ever seen the south park movie, you probably know that all violence and inappropriate are
Canada’s fault. The same idea is true for Trump….the fact he said he sexually assaults women is actually
ISIS’ fault:
“But this is locker room talk. You know, when we have a world where you have ISIS chopping off heads, where you have them, frankly, drowning people in steel cages, where you have wars and horrible, horrible sights all over and you have so many bad things happening, this is like medieval times. We haven’t seen anything likes this. The carnage all over the world and they look and they see, can you imagine the people that are frankly doing so well against us with ISIS and they look at our country and see what's going on. Yes, I am very embarrassed by it and I hate it, but it's locker room talk and it’s one of those things. I will knock the hell out of ISIS. We are going to defeat ISIS. ISIS happened a number of years ago in a vacuum that was left because of bad judgment. And I will tell you, I will take care of ISIS. We need to get on to much more important and bigger things.”
Or maybe instead of being ISIS’s fault it was all Bill Clintons fault:
“That was locker room talk. I'm not proud of it. I am a person who has great respect for people, for my family, for the people of this country and certainly I am not proud of it, but that was something that happened. If you look at Bill Clinton, far worse. Mine are words and his was action. His words, what he has done to women. There’s never been anybody in the history of politics in this nation that has been so abusive to women. So you can say any way you want to say it, but Bill Clinton is abusive to women.”
And from there we move on to what a lot of people consider the most shocking moment of the debate:
The “Seig Heil” award.
This is for all those moments in which Donald Trump promised to imprison his political rivals if elected:
“But if I win, I am going to instruct my attorney general to get a special prosecutor to look into your situation. Because there has never been so many lies, so much deception. There has never been anything like it. And we’re gonna have a special prosecutor. When I speak, I go out and speak, the people of this country are furious. In my opinion, the people that have been long time workers at the FBI are furious. There has never been anything like this where e-mails, and you get a subpoena. You get a subpoena, and after getting the subpoena you delete 33,000 e-mails and then you acid wash them or bleach them, as you would say. Very expensive process. So we’re gonna get a special prosecutor and we’re gonna look into it. Because you know what, people have been -- their lives have been destroyed for doing 1/5 of what you have done. And it’s a disgrace, and honestly, you oughta be ashamed of.
[…]
Clinton: Everything he just said is absolutely false, but I’m not surprised. In the first debate, I told people it would be impossible to be fact checking Donald all the time. I would never get to talk about anything I’d want to do and how we’re really, going to really, make lives better for people. So once again, go to Hillaryclinton.com. We have literally Trump - you can fact check him in real time. Last time at the first debate ,we had millions of people fact checking so I expect we will have millions more fact checking because, you know, it's just awfully good that someone with the temperament of Donald Trump is not in charge of the law in our country.
Trump: Because you would be in jail.”Because jailing political rivals is totally something we do in democracies......and not you know other kinds of unspecified forms of government...
The “WHAT? HUH?” award
Now as you may recall, in the last debate there was this moment where Donald Trump seemed to forget what was going on…….well it happened again.
So here’s a question directed at Hillary Clinton
“Raddatz: And Secretary Clinton, I do want to follow-up on e-mails. You’ve said your handling of your e-mails was a mistake, you’ve disagreed with the FBI Director James Comey calling your handling of classified information “extremely careless”. The FBI said there were 110 classified e-mails which were exchanged, eight of which were top secret and it was possible hostile actors did gain access to those e-mails. You don't call that extremely careless?”
Now after Clinton replies, Trump replies….and then this happens:
“Anderson: We have a question here from Ken Karpowitz, it’s a question about health care.
Trump: I’d liked to know Anderson, Why aren't you bringing up the e-mails? I’d like to know.”
You know….the Email’s Trump literally JUST finished talking about…….unless he forgot already.
And by the way, this exchange kept going….
“Cooper: We brought up the e-mails.
Trump: No it hasn’t, it hasn’t and it hasn't been finished at all.
Cooper: Ken Karpowitz has a question.
Trump: One on three.”
So yea……not only does Trump apparently not remember the last question, any attempt to remind him results in him feeling victimized.
The “Say my name, say my name” award.
This goes to Donald Trump…..but to be honest it really should go to the entire republican party,
For a while now, Republicans have been pushing a rather insane notion that the words “radical Islamic terrorist” have some kind of magical powers….and that just saying them produces tangible results irregardless of any other actions.
Yet, every single time Republicans try to promote this idea, they say some of the most evasive sentences ever. For example as happened in the debate:
“To solve a problem you have to be able to state what the problem is or at least, say the name. She won't say the name and President Obama won't say the name. But the name is there. It's radical Islamic terror. And before you solve it, you have to say the name.”
See, under the very argument this sentence is supposed to pushing, every single instance of “the name” should be replaced with “radical islam” or “radical Islamic terror”
If saying “radical Islam” actually does make you tough and manly as the GOP claims, how come Trump didn’t say:
“To solve a problem you have to be able to state what the problem is, and the problem is radical Islamic terror. She won't say its radical Islamic terroism, and President Obama won't say radical Islamic terrorism. But it's radical Islamic terror. And if you cant call it radical Islamic terror, you cant fix.”
And while its true Trump is not exactly articulate……you can level this same issue and rewrite to pretty much any republican who tries to make this same point, and its pretty funny watching their own argument undercut itself.
Next up, we have a throwback to a popular 90’s tv show….
The “ITS MORPHING TIME!” award.
Again, like all the other awards, this one goes to Donald Trump, when asked about his Muslim ban
“Trump:[…] The Muslim ban is something that in some form has morphed into an extreme vetting from certain areas of the world. Hillary Clinton wants to allow --
Raddatz: Why did it morph into that. No answer the question. Would you please explain whether or not the Muslim ban still stands?
Trump: It is called extreme vetting. We are going to areas like Syria where they are coming in by the tens of thousands because of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton wants wants to allow a 550% increase over Obama. People are coming into our country like we have no idea who they are, where they are from, what their feelings about our country is and she wants 550% more[…]“
I like how Trump makes it seem like the whole Muslim ban is sentient and may have changed on its own. Its now a completely independent organism that doesn’t answer to anyone.
Now of course we all know the real reason it “morphed”, is because Trump thinks “extreme vetting” sounds less racist, and he is trying to play to the non-white hood wearing crowd.
But hey, at least the one thing we can all be sure of….Donald Trump is totally running on White Ranger power…..
“If it looks like bullshit and smells like Bullshit….” Award.
This one actually goes to Hillary Clinton for this exchange:
Raddatz: Thank you Mr. Trump. I want to move on. This next question comes from the public through the bipartisan open debate coalition’s online forum where Americans submitted questions that generated millions of votes. This question involves WikiLeaks’ release of purported excerpts of Secretary Clinton’s paid speeches speeches, which she has refused to release. In one line in particular, in which you Secretary Clinton purportedly say, ‘You need both a public and private position on certain issues.’ So, two from Virginia asks: ‘is it okay for politicians to be two-faced? Is it acceptable for a politician to have have a private stance on issues?’ Secretary Clinton? Two minutes.
Clinton: Right. As I recall, that was something I said about Abraham Lincoln after having seen the wonderful Steven Spielberg movie called Lincoln. It was a master class watching president Lincoln get the congress to approve the 13th amendment. It was principled and it was strategic and I was making the point that it is hard, sometimes, to get the congress to do what you want to do. And you have to keep working at it and yes, president Lincoln was trying to convince some people, he used some arguments, convincing other people, he used other arguments. That was a great, I thought, a great display of presidential leadership.”
Ok…you know I never thought I’d say this…but I’m going to let Donald Trump handle this one:
“Trump: I think I should respond because, so ridiculous. Look, now she is blaming -- she got caught in a total lie. Her papers went out to all her friends at the banks, Goldman Sachs and everybody else. And she said things, WikiLeaks, that just came out. And she lied. Now she’s blaming the lie on the late great Abraham Lincoln. That’s when-okay, Honest Abe never lied. That’s the good thing.”
Yea…seriously that was one of the WORST and most awkard attempted deflection jobs I’ve seen any candidate do….”I don’t want to discuss my comments so lets talk about something kinda related…in this case, the history of another kinda sorta but not really related comment. And then she couldn’t even find anything currently relevant so instead she tried to explain a 150 year old joke……and didn’t even do that right *cringe*
The “WATDAFUQHESAY?” award.
This one goes to Donald Trump, later on in the same bit I actually credited him for in the last award:
“Maybe there is no hacking, but there is - now Russia - and the reason they blame Russia is they think they’re trying to tarnish me with Russia. I know nothing about Russia - I know about Russia, but I know nothing about the inner workings of Russia. I don’t deal there, I have no businesses there, I have no loans from Russia. I have a very very great balance sheet. So great that when I did the old post office, on Pennsylvania Avenue, the United States government because of my balance sheet, which they actually know very well, chose me to do the old post office between the White House and Congress. They chose me to do the old post office - one of the primary things, in fact, perhaps the primary thing was balance sheet. But I have no loans with Russia. You could go to the United States government and they would probably tell you that because they know my sheet very well in order to get that development, I had to have - now the taxes are a very simple thing. As soon as I have - first of all, I pay hundreds of millions of dollars in taxes.”
Lets break this down bit by bit….first there is no hacking…..except that there is.
Second, Trump doesn’t know anything about Russia, except he does, except he doesn’t.
Third there is some kind of correlation between the post office building and Trumps balance sheet….or maybe its 4 or 5 correlations, I’m not sure, I think the Trumpbot 5000 actually malfunctioned there and got caught in a programming loop.
Lastly, Trump totally has no business ties with Russia, and you ask the government if you don’t believe him….because after 15 years of audits they know his business’ really well…..I mean of course Donald Trump COULD always release his own tax returns….but presumably there are worse things than “paid no taxes” hidden in there….
next,
The“digging deeper just to throw it away” award:
Once again, this goes to Donald Trump for his taxes…..
“Cooper: Can you say how many years you have avoided paying personal federal income taxes?
Trump: No. but I pay tax and I pay federal tax too. But I have a write off, a lot of it is depreciation, which is a wonderful charge. I love depreciation.[…]”
So, yea we know its at LEAST 20 years….but Trump totally wont give a number…..meaning its probably much much much more than 20 years (which makes sense given the other 5 bankruptcies he had, if they worked the same way, probably extended that period from 20 years to “the rest of his natural life, and the first few decades of his unlife should he come back as a zombie”
The” Underneath the Bus” award.
This one, technically goes to Mike Pence for winding up underneath the bus his running mate threw him under with this exchange:
Raddatz: Mr. Trump, let me repeat the question. If you were president, what would you do about Syria and the humanitarian crisis in Aleppo, and I want to remind you what your running mate said. He said provocations by Russia need to be met with American strength and that if Russia continues to be involved in airstrikes along with the Syrian government forces of Assad, the United States of America should be prepared to use military force to strike the military targets of the Assad regime.
Trump: Okay. He and I haven't spoken, and I disagree.
Raddatz: You disagree with your running mate?
Trump: I disagree.
Translation: Fuck that guy……you think id actually have a coherent and consistent policy position? Hell I barely even know the man, totally don’t talk to him at all…..and hell given that he said his bit a week ago in the VP debate, and we still arnt on the same page, I basically pay no attention to that guy either.
And now the
award
And Trump picks up another one, after asking a question….and getting an answer in his debate
“Trump: […] Why do they have to say we are going to be attacking Mosul within the next four to six weeks, which is what they’re saying. How stupid is our country?
Raddatz: There are sometimes reasons the military does that. Psychological warfare.
Trump: I can't think of any.
Raddatz: It might be to get civilians out.
Trump: I can't think of any. […]
Raddatz gave Trump not 1 but 2 answers as to why the Military might warn people…despite that Trump still cant think of an answer.
“its 3am I must be lonely” award.
And Trump racks up another one with his attempted defense and deflection of a 3am tweet telling people to look at a non-existent sex tap.
“Cooper: Mr. Trump, let me follow-up with you. In 2008, you wrote in one of your books that the most important characteristic of a good leader is discipline. You said if a leader doesn't have it, quote he or she won't be one for long. In the days after the first debate, you sent out a series of tweets from 3:00 A.M. To 5:00 A.M. including one that told people to check out a sex tape. Is that the kind of discipline...
Trump: No it wasn't check out a sex tape. It was take a look at this person she build up to be this wonderful, uh, girl scout, who was no girl scout.
Cooper: You mentioned ‘‘sex tape.’
Trump: Just so you understand: When she said 3 o’clock in the morning, take a look at Benghazi. She said who is going to answer the call at 3 o’clock in the morning, guess what? She didn't answer. Because when ambassador Stevens -- she said she was awake of at 3:00 in the morning. And she also sent a tweet out at 3 o’clock in the morning, but I won’t mention that. But he said she will be awake, the famous thing ‘we’re going to answer the call at 3:00 in the morning”
So again, he didn’t say sex tape (even though the tweet specifies sex tape) and its all Hillary’s fault that anyone even cares what anyone does at 3am……or something. (hey cut me a break this is hard when one of the people talking doesnt use complete sentences)
The “George W. Bush Good Grammatically Skills” award
And again the winner is Donald Trump for making up a word, even later in his tweet defense.
“Between Facebook and Twitter, I have 25 million people. It's a very effective way of communication. So you can put it down, but it's an effective form of communication. I'm not unproud of it to be honest with you.”
I’m unnonperplexed as to what it means to be “unproud”. I suppose someone whos slightly less unstupid might have said ashamed….but that’s a guess at best based on the other context clues. Not to mention, Pride and Shame are opposites but there is a middle ground, I mean if your unpround and unashamed, you basically don’t give a fuck…..so maybe Trumps just saying he doesn’t give a fuck about it to be honest with you…….
And it wouldn’t be a Donald Trump presidential debate without our next award the
“Confused Word Salad” award
As you might have guessed from the lead-in, Donald Trump gets this one, for not being able to accept a compliment of all things.
First the question: “My question to both of you is, regardless of the current rhetoric, would either of you name one positive thing that you respect in one another?”
Then Hillary Clinton’s answer:
: Well, I certainly will, because I think that's a very fair and important question. Well, I respect his children. His children are incredibly able and devoted and I think that says a lot about Donald. I don't agree with nearly anything else he says or does, but I do respect that and think that is something that as a mother and a grandmother is very important to me."
And now the confusing word salad of Donald Trump:
“Well, I consider her statement about my children to be a very nice compliment. I don't know if it was meant to be a compliment, but it is a great... I'm proud of my children. They have done a wonderful job and they have been wonderful, wonderful kids. So I consider that a compliment.”
So, when the question is “can you give Donald Trump a compliment” and then Hillarys gives him a compliment…..Donald Trump is apparently not sure if it was actually a compliment…but he’s going to take it that way, which is awefully nice of him to debate the premise of the question for a several seconds, before accepting it as valid.
And then of course it was time for Trump to compliment Hillary….which brings us to our last award of the night
The “shooting yourself in the foot” award.
So this was Trump’s compliment of Clinton:
“I will say this about Hillary. She doesn't quit and she doesn't give up. I respect that. I tell it like it is. She is a fighter. I disagree with much of what she is fighting for, I do disagree with her judgment in many cases, but she does fights hard and doesn't quit and she doesn’t give up, and I consider that a very good trait.“
Now its actually a nice and sincere compliment, and on balance more in keeping with the spirit of the question than the one Clinton gave Trump…..so whats the problem?
Trump’s best argument so far this campaign, the one he was pushing when he was up in the polls, the one that did so well an entire section of the 3rd debate will be dedicated too it, was that Hillary was too weak, frail or sickly to have the stamina and health needed to be president.
Except per compliment trump…..shes actually a fighter and never quits……which should end most of the discussion about her physical and mental fitness to be president.
OOPS.
And here ends our second presidential debate award show….join us next week for the 3rd and final installment of the 2016 Presidential Debate Awards. (assuming Donald Trump doesnt throw a temper tantrum and skip the debate to go change his diaper and/or gets arrested for sexually assaulting everyone)
Still, I do have a bit to work with, so here we go, once again the Awards are in the order the events happened at the debate.
We start with:
The “Casual racism” award
This happened in what was basically Trump’s opening remarks, right at the end when he said:
“But I want to do things that haven’t been done, including fixing and making our inner cities better for the African-American citizens that are so great and for the Latinos, Hispanics, and I looking forward to doing- It’s called make America great again.”
Cause, as we all know, only minorities live in the inner cities….in fact the two words are interchangeable, See later one Trump said this:
“Hillary is constantly talking about the inner cities of our country which are a disaster education-wise, job-wise, safety-wise, in every way possible. I’m going to help the African-Americans, I’m going to help the Latinos, Hispanics. I am going to help the inner cities. She has done a terrible job for the African-Americans.”
Later, he did it again:
"I would be a president for all of the people. African-Americans, the inner cities. Devastating what's happening to our inner cities. She’s been talking about for years. As usual, she talks about it, nothing happens. She doesn't get it done. Same with the Latino Americans. The Hispanic Americans. The same exact thing. They talk. They don't get it done. You go into the inner cities, it's 45% poverty. African-Americans now 45% poverty in the inner cities.”
The “Blame Canada” award.
So if you’ve ever seen the south park movie, you probably know that all violence and inappropriate are
Canada’s fault. The same idea is true for Trump….the fact he said he sexually assaults women is actually
ISIS’ fault:
“But this is locker room talk. You know, when we have a world where you have ISIS chopping off heads, where you have them, frankly, drowning people in steel cages, where you have wars and horrible, horrible sights all over and you have so many bad things happening, this is like medieval times. We haven’t seen anything likes this. The carnage all over the world and they look and they see, can you imagine the people that are frankly doing so well against us with ISIS and they look at our country and see what's going on. Yes, I am very embarrassed by it and I hate it, but it's locker room talk and it’s one of those things. I will knock the hell out of ISIS. We are going to defeat ISIS. ISIS happened a number of years ago in a vacuum that was left because of bad judgment. And I will tell you, I will take care of ISIS. We need to get on to much more important and bigger things.”
Or maybe instead of being ISIS’s fault it was all Bill Clintons fault:
“That was locker room talk. I'm not proud of it. I am a person who has great respect for people, for my family, for the people of this country and certainly I am not proud of it, but that was something that happened. If you look at Bill Clinton, far worse. Mine are words and his was action. His words, what he has done to women. There’s never been anybody in the history of politics in this nation that has been so abusive to women. So you can say any way you want to say it, but Bill Clinton is abusive to women.”
And from there we move on to what a lot of people consider the most shocking moment of the debate:
The “Seig Heil” award.
This is for all those moments in which Donald Trump promised to imprison his political rivals if elected:
“But if I win, I am going to instruct my attorney general to get a special prosecutor to look into your situation. Because there has never been so many lies, so much deception. There has never been anything like it. And we’re gonna have a special prosecutor. When I speak, I go out and speak, the people of this country are furious. In my opinion, the people that have been long time workers at the FBI are furious. There has never been anything like this where e-mails, and you get a subpoena. You get a subpoena, and after getting the subpoena you delete 33,000 e-mails and then you acid wash them or bleach them, as you would say. Very expensive process. So we’re gonna get a special prosecutor and we’re gonna look into it. Because you know what, people have been -- their lives have been destroyed for doing 1/5 of what you have done. And it’s a disgrace, and honestly, you oughta be ashamed of.
[…]
Clinton: Everything he just said is absolutely false, but I’m not surprised. In the first debate, I told people it would be impossible to be fact checking Donald all the time. I would never get to talk about anything I’d want to do and how we’re really, going to really, make lives better for people. So once again, go to Hillaryclinton.com. We have literally Trump - you can fact check him in real time. Last time at the first debate ,we had millions of people fact checking so I expect we will have millions more fact checking because, you know, it's just awfully good that someone with the temperament of Donald Trump is not in charge of the law in our country.
Trump: Because you would be in jail.”Because jailing political rivals is totally something we do in democracies......and not you know other kinds of unspecified forms of government...
The “WHAT? HUH?” award
Now as you may recall, in the last debate there was this moment where Donald Trump seemed to forget what was going on…….well it happened again.
So here’s a question directed at Hillary Clinton
“Raddatz: And Secretary Clinton, I do want to follow-up on e-mails. You’ve said your handling of your e-mails was a mistake, you’ve disagreed with the FBI Director James Comey calling your handling of classified information “extremely careless”. The FBI said there were 110 classified e-mails which were exchanged, eight of which were top secret and it was possible hostile actors did gain access to those e-mails. You don't call that extremely careless?”
Now after Clinton replies, Trump replies….and then this happens:
“Anderson: We have a question here from Ken Karpowitz, it’s a question about health care.
Trump: I’d liked to know Anderson, Why aren't you bringing up the e-mails? I’d like to know.”
You know….the Email’s Trump literally JUST finished talking about…….unless he forgot already.
And by the way, this exchange kept going….
“Cooper: We brought up the e-mails.
Trump: No it hasn’t, it hasn’t and it hasn't been finished at all.
Cooper: Ken Karpowitz has a question.
Trump: One on three.”
So yea……not only does Trump apparently not remember the last question, any attempt to remind him results in him feeling victimized.
The “Say my name, say my name” award.
This goes to Donald Trump…..but to be honest it really should go to the entire republican party,
For a while now, Republicans have been pushing a rather insane notion that the words “radical Islamic terrorist” have some kind of magical powers….and that just saying them produces tangible results irregardless of any other actions.
Yet, every single time Republicans try to promote this idea, they say some of the most evasive sentences ever. For example as happened in the debate:
“To solve a problem you have to be able to state what the problem is or at least, say the name. She won't say the name and President Obama won't say the name. But the name is there. It's radical Islamic terror. And before you solve it, you have to say the name.”
See, under the very argument this sentence is supposed to pushing, every single instance of “the name” should be replaced with “radical islam” or “radical Islamic terror”
If saying “radical Islam” actually does make you tough and manly as the GOP claims, how come Trump didn’t say:
“To solve a problem you have to be able to state what the problem is, and the problem is radical Islamic terror. She won't say its radical Islamic terroism, and President Obama won't say radical Islamic terrorism. But it's radical Islamic terror. And if you cant call it radical Islamic terror, you cant fix.”
And while its true Trump is not exactly articulate……you can level this same issue and rewrite to pretty much any republican who tries to make this same point, and its pretty funny watching their own argument undercut itself.
Next up, we have a throwback to a popular 90’s tv show….
The “ITS MORPHING TIME!” award.
Again, like all the other awards, this one goes to Donald Trump, when asked about his Muslim ban
“Trump:[…] The Muslim ban is something that in some form has morphed into an extreme vetting from certain areas of the world. Hillary Clinton wants to allow --
Raddatz: Why did it morph into that. No answer the question. Would you please explain whether or not the Muslim ban still stands?
Trump: It is called extreme vetting. We are going to areas like Syria where they are coming in by the tens of thousands because of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton wants wants to allow a 550% increase over Obama. People are coming into our country like we have no idea who they are, where they are from, what their feelings about our country is and she wants 550% more[…]“
I like how Trump makes it seem like the whole Muslim ban is sentient and may have changed on its own. Its now a completely independent organism that doesn’t answer to anyone.
Now of course we all know the real reason it “morphed”, is because Trump thinks “extreme vetting” sounds less racist, and he is trying to play to the non-white hood wearing crowd.
But hey, at least the one thing we can all be sure of….Donald Trump is totally running on White Ranger power…..
“If it looks like bullshit and smells like Bullshit….” Award.
This one actually goes to Hillary Clinton for this exchange:
Raddatz: Thank you Mr. Trump. I want to move on. This next question comes from the public through the bipartisan open debate coalition’s online forum where Americans submitted questions that generated millions of votes. This question involves WikiLeaks’ release of purported excerpts of Secretary Clinton’s paid speeches speeches, which she has refused to release. In one line in particular, in which you Secretary Clinton purportedly say, ‘You need both a public and private position on certain issues.’ So, two from Virginia asks: ‘is it okay for politicians to be two-faced? Is it acceptable for a politician to have have a private stance on issues?’ Secretary Clinton? Two minutes.
Clinton: Right. As I recall, that was something I said about Abraham Lincoln after having seen the wonderful Steven Spielberg movie called Lincoln. It was a master class watching president Lincoln get the congress to approve the 13th amendment. It was principled and it was strategic and I was making the point that it is hard, sometimes, to get the congress to do what you want to do. And you have to keep working at it and yes, president Lincoln was trying to convince some people, he used some arguments, convincing other people, he used other arguments. That was a great, I thought, a great display of presidential leadership.”
Ok…you know I never thought I’d say this…but I’m going to let Donald Trump handle this one:
“Trump: I think I should respond because, so ridiculous. Look, now she is blaming -- she got caught in a total lie. Her papers went out to all her friends at the banks, Goldman Sachs and everybody else. And she said things, WikiLeaks, that just came out. And she lied. Now she’s blaming the lie on the late great Abraham Lincoln. That’s when-okay, Honest Abe never lied. That’s the good thing.”
Yea…seriously that was one of the WORST and most awkard attempted deflection jobs I’ve seen any candidate do….”I don’t want to discuss my comments so lets talk about something kinda related…in this case, the history of another kinda sorta but not really related comment. And then she couldn’t even find anything currently relevant so instead she tried to explain a 150 year old joke……and didn’t even do that right *cringe*
The “WATDAFUQHESAY?” award.
This one goes to Donald Trump, later on in the same bit I actually credited him for in the last award:
“Maybe there is no hacking, but there is - now Russia - and the reason they blame Russia is they think they’re trying to tarnish me with Russia. I know nothing about Russia - I know about Russia, but I know nothing about the inner workings of Russia. I don’t deal there, I have no businesses there, I have no loans from Russia. I have a very very great balance sheet. So great that when I did the old post office, on Pennsylvania Avenue, the United States government because of my balance sheet, which they actually know very well, chose me to do the old post office between the White House and Congress. They chose me to do the old post office - one of the primary things, in fact, perhaps the primary thing was balance sheet. But I have no loans with Russia. You could go to the United States government and they would probably tell you that because they know my sheet very well in order to get that development, I had to have - now the taxes are a very simple thing. As soon as I have - first of all, I pay hundreds of millions of dollars in taxes.”
Lets break this down bit by bit….first there is no hacking…..except that there is.
Second, Trump doesn’t know anything about Russia, except he does, except he doesn’t.
Third there is some kind of correlation between the post office building and Trumps balance sheet….or maybe its 4 or 5 correlations, I’m not sure, I think the Trumpbot 5000 actually malfunctioned there and got caught in a programming loop.
Lastly, Trump totally has no business ties with Russia, and you ask the government if you don’t believe him….because after 15 years of audits they know his business’ really well…..I mean of course Donald Trump COULD always release his own tax returns….but presumably there are worse things than “paid no taxes” hidden in there….
next,
The“digging deeper just to throw it away” award:
Once again, this goes to Donald Trump for his taxes…..
“Cooper: Can you say how many years you have avoided paying personal federal income taxes?
Trump: No. but I pay tax and I pay federal tax too. But I have a write off, a lot of it is depreciation, which is a wonderful charge. I love depreciation.[…]”
So, yea we know its at LEAST 20 years….but Trump totally wont give a number…..meaning its probably much much much more than 20 years (which makes sense given the other 5 bankruptcies he had, if they worked the same way, probably extended that period from 20 years to “the rest of his natural life, and the first few decades of his unlife should he come back as a zombie”
The” Underneath the Bus” award.
This one, technically goes to Mike Pence for winding up underneath the bus his running mate threw him under with this exchange:
Raddatz: Mr. Trump, let me repeat the question. If you were president, what would you do about Syria and the humanitarian crisis in Aleppo, and I want to remind you what your running mate said. He said provocations by Russia need to be met with American strength and that if Russia continues to be involved in airstrikes along with the Syrian government forces of Assad, the United States of America should be prepared to use military force to strike the military targets of the Assad regime.
Trump: Okay. He and I haven't spoken, and I disagree.
Raddatz: You disagree with your running mate?
Trump: I disagree.
Translation: Fuck that guy……you think id actually have a coherent and consistent policy position? Hell I barely even know the man, totally don’t talk to him at all…..and hell given that he said his bit a week ago in the VP debate, and we still arnt on the same page, I basically pay no attention to that guy either.
And now the
awardAnd Trump picks up another one, after asking a question….and getting an answer in his debate
“Trump: […] Why do they have to say we are going to be attacking Mosul within the next four to six weeks, which is what they’re saying. How stupid is our country?
Raddatz: There are sometimes reasons the military does that. Psychological warfare.
Trump: I can't think of any.
Raddatz: It might be to get civilians out.
Trump: I can't think of any. […]
Raddatz gave Trump not 1 but 2 answers as to why the Military might warn people…despite that Trump still cant think of an answer.
“its 3am I must be lonely” award.
And Trump racks up another one with his attempted defense and deflection of a 3am tweet telling people to look at a non-existent sex tap.
“Cooper: Mr. Trump, let me follow-up with you. In 2008, you wrote in one of your books that the most important characteristic of a good leader is discipline. You said if a leader doesn't have it, quote he or she won't be one for long. In the days after the first debate, you sent out a series of tweets from 3:00 A.M. To 5:00 A.M. including one that told people to check out a sex tape. Is that the kind of discipline...
Trump: No it wasn't check out a sex tape. It was take a look at this person she build up to be this wonderful, uh, girl scout, who was no girl scout.
Cooper: You mentioned ‘‘sex tape.’
Trump: Just so you understand: When she said 3 o’clock in the morning, take a look at Benghazi. She said who is going to answer the call at 3 o’clock in the morning, guess what? She didn't answer. Because when ambassador Stevens -- she said she was awake of at 3:00 in the morning. And she also sent a tweet out at 3 o’clock in the morning, but I won’t mention that. But he said she will be awake, the famous thing ‘we’re going to answer the call at 3:00 in the morning”
So again, he didn’t say sex tape (even though the tweet specifies sex tape) and its all Hillary’s fault that anyone even cares what anyone does at 3am……or something. (hey cut me a break this is hard when one of the people talking doesnt use complete sentences)
The “George W. Bush Good Grammatically Skills” award
And again the winner is Donald Trump for making up a word, even later in his tweet defense.
“Between Facebook and Twitter, I have 25 million people. It's a very effective way of communication. So you can put it down, but it's an effective form of communication. I'm not unproud of it to be honest with you.”
I’m unnonperplexed as to what it means to be “unproud”. I suppose someone whos slightly less unstupid might have said ashamed….but that’s a guess at best based on the other context clues. Not to mention, Pride and Shame are opposites but there is a middle ground, I mean if your unpround and unashamed, you basically don’t give a fuck…..so maybe Trumps just saying he doesn’t give a fuck about it to be honest with you…….
And it wouldn’t be a Donald Trump presidential debate without our next award the
“Confused Word Salad” award
As you might have guessed from the lead-in, Donald Trump gets this one, for not being able to accept a compliment of all things.
First the question: “My question to both of you is, regardless of the current rhetoric, would either of you name one positive thing that you respect in one another?”
Then Hillary Clinton’s answer:
: Well, I certainly will, because I think that's a very fair and important question. Well, I respect his children. His children are incredibly able and devoted and I think that says a lot about Donald. I don't agree with nearly anything else he says or does, but I do respect that and think that is something that as a mother and a grandmother is very important to me."
And now the confusing word salad of Donald Trump:
“Well, I consider her statement about my children to be a very nice compliment. I don't know if it was meant to be a compliment, but it is a great... I'm proud of my children. They have done a wonderful job and they have been wonderful, wonderful kids. So I consider that a compliment.”
So, when the question is “can you give Donald Trump a compliment” and then Hillarys gives him a compliment…..Donald Trump is apparently not sure if it was actually a compliment…but he’s going to take it that way, which is awefully nice of him to debate the premise of the question for a several seconds, before accepting it as valid.
And then of course it was time for Trump to compliment Hillary….which brings us to our last award of the night
The “shooting yourself in the foot” award.
So this was Trump’s compliment of Clinton:
“I will say this about Hillary. She doesn't quit and she doesn't give up. I respect that. I tell it like it is. She is a fighter. I disagree with much of what she is fighting for, I do disagree with her judgment in many cases, but she does fights hard and doesn't quit and she doesn’t give up, and I consider that a very good trait.“
Now its actually a nice and sincere compliment, and on balance more in keeping with the spirit of the question than the one Clinton gave Trump…..so whats the problem?
Trump’s best argument so far this campaign, the one he was pushing when he was up in the polls, the one that did so well an entire section of the 3rd debate will be dedicated too it, was that Hillary was too weak, frail or sickly to have the stamina and health needed to be president.
Except per compliment trump…..shes actually a fighter and never quits……which should end most of the discussion about her physical and mental fitness to be president.
OOPS.
And here ends our second presidential debate award show….join us next week for the 3rd and final installment of the 2016 Presidential Debate Awards. (assuming Donald Trump doesnt throw a temper tantrum and skip the debate to go change his diaper and/or gets arrested for sexually assaulting everyone)
