Yet despite that, we pick up where we left off in the aforementioned blog, with Gov Chris Christie.
Ok so first, Democratic Presidential Candidate Hilary Clinton had this to say about republicans views on women:
"Extreme views about women? We expect that from some of the terrorist groups. We expect that from people who don’t want to live in the modern world, But it’s a little hard to take coming from Republicans who want to be the president of the United States."
To which Christie said:"Well, there's a uniter, isn't it? Comparing Republicans to terrorist groups. There's a real uniter. That's the woman you want sitting in the Oval Office to bring our country back together, That's a disgrace, and she's a disgrace. She's a disgrace for saying that, for comparing Republicans to terrorist groups. Don't let her go on that, Chris. That's awful."
Now look I'll be honest, normally this wouldnt really register on my dumbass-o-meter as its pretty boilerplate back and forth political bullshit. But normally its not said by someone a couple of days after they double down on forcing people to be identified by an physically embedded number if the government finds them undesirable.
Which ironically means, Christie is kinda right here, Hilary does own an apology for her comments......to the terrorists, cause even they know enough not to suggest nazi pogroms might be models for future policy,
By the way, as long as we are kinda back on the subject of the GOP immigration policies, we actually have a number of Republican presidential candidates, who made comments not horrible enough to make the previous blog, but more of the criminally stupid variety.
Take Ben Carson for example, his solution to illegal immigration is pretty simple:
"You look at some of these caves and things out there one drone strike, boom, and they'd gone."
Ah so we are going to blow up people while they attempt to cross the border? that seems kinda heartless.
Apparently Carson agrees, because he issued the following clarifying statement later:
"I'm not talking about killing people. No people with drones."
Oh ok...so we are only going to blow up caves illegal immigrants ARNT using to cross the border because that makes sense....back to the good doctor
"There are caves that they utilize. Those caves can be eliminated. There are a number of possibilities -- that could be one of them,"
Wait so we ARE blowing up the ones they are using? but wouldnt that mean killing people?
"Drones can help with the surveillance. In no way did I suggest that drones be used to kill people,"
Ok so then what goes boom and why would the caves be gone? Still waiting on a response to that one.
Which brings us to my mothers "favorite" republican candidate Scott Walker
First watch this:
That would be Walker saying that 4 to 5 months ago he released an immigration plan similar to Trumps.....Trumps of course calling for the end of Birthright citizenship. But to be fair he does say he didnt read all of trumps plan, so hes not sure he agree with all of it
So he gets asked about it directly the next day:
So yea, what youve just seen is Scott Walker take a position that "absolutely" we should end birthright citizenship....then in under a minute say that "no we shouldnt" deport the children of illegals (who are citizens)
In political terms, getting on both sides of the issue is called the "Romney" but Walker appears to have broken the landspeed record on doing it.
So how does Governor Walker get himself out of this mess?
“In both of these instances, what I’ve said and I pointed it out, I did a three-and-a-half hour gaggle, so there was bits and pieces of people interrupting, while we were taking questions along the way,”
Except not so much, since one of those was a 1 on 1 interview, and as near as I can tell no one was talking to Walker except the reporter in the second one.
So what is Walker's ACTUAL position on birthright citizenship? from the same third interview:
"We will talk about things in the future."
When it was pointed out thats a cop out answer he tried instead:
"I'm not taking a position on it one way or another."
So after taking both sides of an issue, walker is now trying to end up on the 3rd side where he can be on both sides or neither at the same time. Ladies and gentleman, we have just seen the fabled "Full Romney".....
Wait no never mind. Two days later, Walker was asked on ABC's This week if he was “seeking to repeal or alter the 14th Amendment,” (that being the part that guarantees birthright citizenship) to which his answer was
"No. My point is any discussion that goes beyond securing the border and enforcing laws are things that should be a red flag to voters out there who for years have heard lip service from politicians and are understandably angry."
His Campaign then issued a final follow up
"His position is very firm: We have to secure the border and enforce the laws first. He has been saying this all week long. You have heard him say that countless times. I know what you're asking for but just because you're not satisfied with his answer doesn't make his any less worthy."
Yep, as he said all week, his position is "yes, I mean no, I mean maybe, I mean can we not talk about this? I mean No, definitively no, which is what I said the beginning of the week when i said yes"
But wait, as far as Walker and immigration, theres more.
See in his attempt to get off if he actually does or does not favor stripping americans of birthright citizenship, he decided instead to mention how much in favor he is of building a fence on our border....the Canadian Border.
Ok so in fairness to Walker he was asked about it directly
“Do you want to build a wall north of here too?”
To which his reply was
"Some people have asked us about that in New Hampshire, They raised some very legitimate concerns, including some law enforcement folks that brought that up to me at one of our town hall meetings about a week and a half ago. So that is a legitimate issue for us to look at."
So he's in favor right?
if you think so, you havnt been paying attention. Heres what he said the next day:
"I never talked about a wall of the north, I'm certainly not now. That's just what happens when things get run amok"
"Run Amok" must be Walker code for "asked to have thoughts on things"......
Now I dont want to pigeon hole Republicans as ONLY tripping over themselves on immigration issues.
So thankfully we have John Kasich, who attempted (and failed) at a solution to education:
"If I were not president, but if I were King of America, I would abolish all teacher's lounges, where they sit together and worry about 'woe is us,"
Right because the problem here is NOT that teachers job's tend to suck...due to being underpaid, overcrowded class rooms, having to work long hours and weekends at home grading, or any of a number of other issues.
No the problem is teachers being able to talk to other teachers. Its the over-socialization of your teacher during their 10 minutes or less a day of free time that is the real evil of american education.....
BUT in kasich's defense, at least he fucked up on an issue....which is more than I can say for Jeb Bush's supporters.
Ok so a Jeb Bush superpac recently send out a mailer with this image, that was supposed to show Jeb Bush standing strong in Iowa, specifically the third Avenue Bridge in Cedar Rapids.
Alright, anyone see a problem? No? Well take a good look at his left hand.......Yea....thats awkward.
Now most people see that and assume the PAC just got a stock photo off the internet of a black man and photoshopped Bush into the picture and forgot to do the left hand.
Turns out the truth is actually possibly more embarrassing. It turns out, that IS actually Bush's left hand. But the picture is a photoshop and the original was taken elsewhere. When they photoshopped Jeb on to the background they changed the shadowing on his body to make it look like he was standing consistent to where the sun would be in the background picture,
And in doing so, they apparently consciously decided the appropriate level of shading on Bush's left hand was to turn it black. So instead of photoshopping bush onto a black man, the effectively photoshopped a black hand onto Bush and didnt think that would look unusual.......
Yea.....real group of geniuses you got there Mr. Bush.......
But our winner, and this weeks biggest dumbass,.............Jason Doré.
Who? Jason Doré, the executive director of the Republican Party in the state of Louisana, who's name happened to come up as one of the accounts exposed in the Ashley Madison leak.
Now for those who have never heard of Ashley Madison, thats a website that specializing in pairing up those looking to cheat on their spouses with potential mistresses (or misters)
I assume of course that Mr. Dore was far from the only political exposed in that leak....I just hope to god the rest of them have a better excuse:
"As the state's leading opposition research firm, our law office routinely searches public records, online databases and websites of all types to provide clients with comprehensive reports, Our utilization of this site was for standard opposition research. Unfortunately, it ended up being a waste of money and time."
Riiiiiight, and next your going to tell me she tripped and fell on your dick, and that it somehow got stuck in there and you were trying to wiggle it back and forth to dislodge it, so you were clearly NOT having sex when your wife walked in.
Actually to be fair to Mr. Dore, that last sentence in his excuse is probably true, as it seems most Ashley Madison users are straight males, so not of any interest to him.....
So yea, until the next time Mt Moron erupts (which given that its elections season will be soon), this was the week in stupid.
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