BREAKING: Slavery to be reinstated in US....and thats NOT the worst part.

Or at least it will be if the Republicans win. And no I'm not actually being hyperbolic.

So in a previous blog I kinda mentioned how the 14th amendment was really fucking over the GOP due to its contradictory stances on Abortion and Immigration. Well turns out its mostly the 14th amendment tripping them up with its pesky birthright citizenship. But it turns out republicans have a plan to fix that....and other immigration issues. and they run the gamete of bad to much much worse.

First we start with the Stupid....and as usual that would be Donald Trump

Check out this exchange with Bill O'Reilly a few weeks ago on FOX

Now I dont usually say this about Bill O'Reilly but he is right. The 14th amendment is pretty unambiguously clear on this issue.

First sentence of the 14th amendment (in case youve forgotten it from my other mentions of it in previous blogs) "All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside."  

There's no exceptions in there, no qualifiers, if you are born in the US you are a citizen of the US.

Which is why I highly doubt those lawyers trump is talking about actually...whats the word....exist. I expect them to be just as successful as the group he sent to Hawaii 4 years ago to find the proof Obama wasnt born there (a group that by all accounts never actually got to Hawaii because they didnt exist)

Now I'm not saying this idea is gaining traction in the Republican Party...but look who else is endorsing it. Texas Senator Ted Cruz, who went on a radio show and said

'You know, it is an open legal question whether changing birthright citizenship could be done through statute or could be done through a constitutional amendment,There are serious constitutional scholars on both sides of that argument. As a policy matter, I think it is basic common sense that we shouldn’t be incentivizing illegal immigration, that it doesn’t make sense to provide rewards for people to break the law and come here.”

Now its worth pointing out that while this may appear to just be Trump level stupid, this is actually kinda worse.

See Trump was born in New York. Ted Cruz was born in CANADA. Which is NOT part of the United States. Ted Cruz's ONLY justification to being a US citizen is inherited birthright citizenship though his mother.

In other words if we strip birthright citizenship Ted Cruz will find himself on the first INS flight back to his home country of Canada. Maybe.

Now I say maybe because the radio show Cruz was on was the Iowa based Jan Mickelson show, and Mickelson it turns out has his own plan for what should happen to all the soon to be non citizens like Senator Ted Cruz.

"as of this date, 30 to 60 days from now, anyone who is in the state of Iowa who is not here legally and who cannot demonstrate their legal status to the satisfaction of the local and state authorities here in the State of Iowa, become[s] property of the State of Iowa. And we have a job for you. And we start using compelled labor, the people who are here illegally would therefore be owned by the state and become an asset of the state rather than a liability and we start inventing jobs for them to do.”

According to Mickelson, all non citizens would become PROPERTY and forced into labor. Now as one of Mickelson's callers was quick to point out, there's another word for that: SLAVERY.

To which Mickelson said “What’s wrong with slavery?”

Well nothing except it violates the 13th amendment. But then again we now have at least two presidential candidates who believe the Consistution (specifically the 14th amendment) may not be constitutional and doesnt have to be followed, so logically why WOULD we have to follow any of the other amendments.

Like say the 1st Amendment and the freedom of the Press, which brings up back to Donald Trump.

Now you probably heard about this, but if you didnt, at a press conference this week Donald Trump had a report removed by security for daring to ask him a question about how he would implement his immigration policy.By the way, did we mention this reporter was Latino? Here watch this:

   

Now you heard the line "go back to Univision" Which is actually accurate, as that IS Univision anchor Jorge Ramos (who also happens to be the most watched Spanish speaking anchor in the country), and its likely worth noting Trump is currently suing Univision for refusing to air the Miss Universe pageant after he called all mexicans rapists a few months ago.

Donald Trumps defense as given to Matt Lauer the next day:"He stood up and started ranting and raving like a madman, and frankly, he was out of line."

I gave you the entire clip. Ramos is talking so quietly you cant actually hear what he's saying. Not exactly "ranting and screaming"...but I guess thats what happens when your brown and get "uppity" to Trump by not just nodding and agreeing with him.

By the way, it should be noted Trump's actions were actually defended by several republican members of the media,

Like say FOX New's Jesse Watters who had this to say: “I think Ramos acted like an illegal alien and got treated like one, He cut the line, was disruptive, and then was deported and then Trump let him back in. Isn’t that his policy?”

To which Co-Host Greg Gutfield responded by saying the questions Ramos should be asking is "why people are fleeing his country. Why isn’t he passionate about the corruption in the infrastructure? How come you can’t drink the water?”

Which is kinda awkward since Ramos is actually an AMERICAN. Except he's brown so he doesnt really count.

By the way, its possible (but unlikely) at this point you are asking yourself, "But hey, I'm NOT brown so what the hell do I care?

Enter Jeb Bush, who it should be noted is married to a Mexican immigrant, who became a citizen in 1979. and is smarter than Ted Cruz, in that he realizes what that means if the GOP goes after brown people.

Or at least I thought so, until he said this:

“If there’s abuse, people are bringing – pregnant women are coming in to have babies simply because they can do it, then there ought to be greater enforcement, That’s [the] legitimate side of this. Better enforcement so that you don’t have these, you know, ‘anchor babies,’ as they’re described, coming into the country.”

You know, Anchor Babies, like this one:

Jeb's Son. George P Bush, an "Anchor Baby" born 1976...3 years before his mother became a Citizen. 

Oh god, thats got to be awkward as fuck. (also by the way Jeb's daughter who is not a public official, hence I wont use her picture, was born in 1977 so also an "Anchor baby" under traditional republican definition)

Um No actually apparently its not. Because later, after realizing what he said, Jeb Bush decided to clarify his comments to remove the awkwardness:

"What I was talking about was the specific case of fraud being committed where there's organized efforts, and frankly, it's more related to Asian people coming into our country and having children in that organized effort."

Ah, that makes sense now, the rest of the GOP has it wrong, its not BROWN people that are the problem, its Asians.

Well at least thats LESS racist right? No? Maybe? Please, pretty please, for Bushes sake?

So now we have identified the problem at least, as Brown and Asian People, and come up with a solution by making them all slaves....but what about the ones who ARE here legally? what do we do about them? Enter Governor Chris Christie who said this at a campaign stop yesterday:

“At any moment, FedEx can tell you where that package is. It’s on the truck. It’s at the station. It’s on the airplane. Yet we let people come to this country with visas, and the minute they come in, we lose track of them. We need to have a system that tracks you from the moment you come in. However long your visa is, then we go get you, We tap you on the shoulder and say, ‘Excuse me. Thanks for coming. Time to go.’"

Now lest you think Christie mispoke he went on FOX News Sunday and was asked if the comments were equating people with packages, to which he said

"They're not, But what my point was, was this is once again a situation where the private sector laps us in the government with the use of technology.  Let's use the same type of technology to make sure that 40 percent of the 11 million people who are here illegally don't overstay their visas. If FedEx can do it, why can't we use the same type of technology?"

Now Fed Ex, as I sure most people know, tracks it packages by assigning each one a number and placing a barcode with that number of the package and scanning the barcode at each step to monitor its progress.

Now I got to say, something about forcing people to have a number attached to them by the government so they can be tracked sounds familiar, but I just cant place it.......

Oh wait, thats right, the HOLOCAUST

By the way, I'm not the only one who picked up on that. The interviewer, Chris Wallace got it IMMEDIATELY saying in reply to Christie.

"They don't have number, a label on their wrist"

Christie either not getting or not caring about the allusion responded with:

"No, we can do it, And we should bring in the folks from FedEx to use the technology to make sure we would be able to do it. There's nothing wrong with that, And I don't mean people are packages. So, let's not be ridiculous."

So yea the fact people dont come pre numbered wont slow us down at all. Fed Ex will show us how to number them all.  (disclaimer by the way, Fed Ex has in no way supported Christie comments or idea here....so i am in no way attempting to mock or protest them)

But give the governor SOME credit, at least he doesnt think people are packages. So I guess it could be slightly worse than just wanting to use to Nazi method of organizing undesirable people......

I would say that there is an upside here, that there is no way the GOP can say anything worse on this issue, but I've thought that before and they always manage to surprise me. And seriously if your a registered republican, I think its long past time to reconsider some of your life choices...cause I cant believe you all want to be associated with this kindof insanity.