Ph.D. in Moronology. The week in stupid part 1.

So yea, in my last week in stupid, I pointed out it had been 8 months since enough stupid had piled up for me to need to do one.

WELP they are making up for lost time. Seriously, I hit the the number of stupid comments I could make fun of, and have a decent length blog like 4 days ago, I've just been too busy to sit down and write it. Which is a shame for me cause the stupid kept flowing and now I'm gonna need multiple blogs to carry the weight of all this brain excrement.

First up, Ted Cruz with a rare double nomination

He started off unveiling his new conspiracy theory about the pending criminal indictment of Democratic Senator Bob Menendez, who also happened to be a supporter of the infamous Netayahu speech

“The timing is curious, It raises a suggestion to other Democrats that if you dare part from the Obama White House, that criminal prosecutions will be used potentially as a political weapon as well, That’s a serious concern.”
And you know, to be honest, Cruz seems right. I mean announcing a criminal investigation into someone a week or so after they defied you looks bad right?

"This investigation has been going on for over a year and yet the very week they announce a pending indictment comes within hours after Sen. Menendez showing courage to speak out against President Obama’s dangerous foreign policy that is risking the national security of this country.”

Wait, the investigation started last YEAR, for an "offense" committed last WEEK.

you know what this means right? THE WHITE HOUSE CAN SEE THE FUTURE.......

Although, they clearly arnt very good at it. Otherwise they could look into the future, see where they found dirt on the guy, and find it overnight......they shouldnt need a year prep time.

Plus you'd think they would have foreseen Cruz discovering they can see into the future. And they've had years to arrange an unfortunate accident for him before he figured it out. Oh well. I guess assassinations from the future is just one more failure of this White House. Thanks Obama.

Not that the week got much better for the Senator from Texas. as he took to twitter and tweeted this:

"Federal govt has no business sticking its nose in education. We need to repeal every word of Common Core! #nhpolitics #MakeDCListen"

Now, once again to show why Cruz is a moron, we turn to time travel.....but this time we look not to the future but to the past....................where we quickly discover that their is not common core legislation at the federal level.......Because its not a federal program.......its state run and managed.

So yea.....looks like Senator Cruz has his work cut out for him, because first he has to PASS Common Core at the federal level just to be able to attempt his goal of repealing it.

But hey, you got to give him credit. If the senate wont pass any bills, seems like the next logical step is to repeal the bills they wont pass......

Next up, we turn our attention to the fallout of the [not really] Treason Letter issued by the "#47Traitors" (to use their twitter tag) in the senate.

First off we turn to the National Review, who when trying to explain why the letter wasnt treason, offer up this gem:

"The Cotton/GOP letter regarding Tehran’s atom-bomb talks with Obama was not sent to the ayatollahs. Had Cotton & Co. actually delivered their communiqué to Iran’s mullahs — perhaps via a Swiss diplomatic pouch or something even more cloak and dagger — their critics would be on less swampy ground in calling them “traitors,” as the New York Daily News screamed.[...]“Because it was an open letter, it was not sent to Tehran but rather posted on Senator Cotton’s website and social-media accounts,” Caroline Rabbitt, Senator Cotton’s communications director, explained to me last week. Cotton & Co. never even dropped an envelope in the mail.[...]Agree or disagree with that point, here is the inescapable truth: Tom Cotton and his Senate colleagues never contacted anyone in Iran. That fact alone should turn the Left’s fluttering “GOP = Treason” banner into a wet rag."

Now, as you might have guessed from how I introduced it, I dont disagree that the letter isnt treason.

But the defense of "if we didnt mail it, it doesnt count"? Seriously? you've never heard of E-mail?

More to the point, the idea seems to be that if it was posted on a website, no one [in iran] could read it. Which is bad news for you, dear reader, as it seems your just a figment of my imagination. As apparently is the national review, since, if you follow the link (assuming you were real) you would find I took this story from their webpage.

So yea, claiming, on your website, that no one can read a website, kinda begs the question "Do you have any idea what the fuck you are doing....just you know, in general?"

Next up, we turn to the leader of the 47, the man who authored the open letter, Senator Tom Cotton, who was asked to explain (as all the 47 have been) what the fuck he was thinking. Now like the rest of the 47, he failed....however he failed spectacularly:

"Moreover we have to stand up to Iran’s attempts to drive for regional dominance. They already control Tehran increasingly they control Damascus and Beirut and Baghdad and now Sana’a as well. They do all that without a nuclear weapon. imagine what they would do with a nuclear weapon." 

Now heres the thing. I want the government of Iran controlling Tehran........which is only as radical a statement as saying I want the government of the United States controlling Washington DC, and the government of Britain controlling London (and Westminster).

Cause yea, Tehran is kinda the capital of Iran.....so if they Iranian government isnt controlling it, I'd say we have a pretty big problem on our hands.

Fun fact by the way, Tehran became the capital in 1796....4 years before DC became our Capital. Just saying, its not like Tom Cotton hasnt had plenty of time to look at a map.....

And next we move from current Senators to a former Senator.....Senator Rick Santorum (dont google him), who apprently is under the impression he's running for president and people actually give a shit. Anyways at a recent "campaign stop" he said this:

“Why are Bibles no longer in public schools? Don’t give me the Supreme Court. The reason Bibles are no longer in the public schools is because we let them take them out of the public schools. You say, ‘Well, we can’t get them back in?' Yes we can! Yes we can!"

"How much are you willing to sacrifice? One person got the Bibles out of the schools. We have more than one person here! But you’ve got to have the same passion in preserving our country as they do to transform it."

Yea see heres the problem.....I dont know who Rick Santorum is talking about with his "one person".
Because the reason bibles were banned from schools is because of the Supreme Court.....who apparently I'm not allowed to mention......ruled on it. Oh, and here's the thing. It was an 8 to 1 ruling.

So I cant exactly figure out which 1 judge was the one who swung the vote......unless Santorum thinks the "1"  in 8-1 was ruling in favor, with 8 against....and doesnt understand which number is bigger.

Now to be honest, I had first figured that the "One Person"  might have been the person who brought the case....but 2 problems emerged.
1) the case had 2 plantiff's....I dont know which one would be the one
2) As the Supreme Court doesnt exist in Santorumland, it seems doubtful their cases could....so it really couldnt be either plantiff anyways.

So yea.....just going to assume this "one" is named Obama......

Or maybe this guy?

But in either case, Rick Santorum talking out his ass shouldnt really surprise anyone at this point. (Pro time, NEVER google "Santorum" and "Ass" at work....You will be fired.)

Lastly we head back to the House....and full circle back to Bibi Netanyahu this time in the form of Rep Steve King, who is trying to explain the boycott by Democrats of Netanyahu's speech to congress:

“Well, there were some 50 or so Democrats that decided they would boycott the president’s speech. One thing that’s happened is — just look at the polling, that means — here is what thing that I don’t understand, I don’t understand how Jews in America can be Democrats first and Jewish second and support Israel along the line of just following their president,[...]I’m amazed to see this happen. It’s a phenomenon that I did not expect to see in post-World War II, the revulsion of what I saw. But anti-Semitism is a component of this and just plain liberalism is another component."

So yea, according to Steve King all Jews should think and act the exact same by virtue of being Jewish....and liberals are anti Semitic. Me thinkth the Congressman might need to look up the definition of Irony.

However I see Steve King's point. It is unthinkable to go against your religion's home country. So with that in mind, as a loyal American, using Steve King's logic, I now present this countries National Anthem.

Anywho, that wraps up this half of this week in stupid. next time will be all the stupid people who arnt elected members of our government (and one exception). So until next time, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN.

One stupid son of a Mitch

Ok so as an elected politician one of the unofficial parts of the job is usually going on TV/Radio ect  doing interviews. And clearly if your on TV all the time, your liable to say one or two stupid things....just as any politician elected in the last 40 years.

That said, on CNN's State of the Union this morning (3/15/15 for those reading the blog after it was posted) Mitch McConnell gave one of the worst interviews I have ever seen, and managed to exceed the number of allowable stupid comments a politician can have in a career in a single interview.

As usual, when I do something like this, I'm going to give the quotes first, my comments/explanations as to why they are stupid second.  Since I cant find short vidoes of McConnell individual comments I'm pulling from the CNN transcript, which does have a disclaimer it might be edited later, however based on what I saw and read it seems accurate.

Starting from the top:


"DANA BASH: Let's just talk first about the timing of this.
There's a lot of discussion about the fact that this was done in a rushed way, signed quickly, before senators wanted to get out of town for the snowstorm.

When did Senator Cotton come to you with this letter? Explain the process.

MCCONNELL: Well, Dana, first, let me just say, I think this is a good case of selective outrage.

I remember reading about Senator Robert Byrd when he was the majority leader flying to Moscow during the negotiations over the SALT II treaty explaining to the Russians the Senate's role in treaty ratification. And John Kerry, when he was a senator, flew to Managua and met with a communist dictator there, Daniel Ortega, and accused the Reagan administration of engaging in terrorism.

So, look, members of Congress expressing themselves about important matters, not only at home, but around the world, is not unprecedented.

So, the main point here I think everybody needs to understand is the president is about to make what we believe will be a very bad deal. He clearly doesn't want Congress involved it at all. And we're worried about it. We don't think he ought to make a bad deal with one of the worst regimes in the world.


I signed the letter. I don't think it was a mistake. It's no more unusual than Robert Byrd going to Moscow or John Kerry going to Managua."

Alright, actually have to give some credit to McConnell for pulling up some similar examples. Of course all of those examples were of 1 individual, and all generated massive controversy. But still not a bad defense.

However then we leap directly into the stupid, when he starts taking about how this is a "bad deal."

Based on WHAT exactly? We dont know anything about the deal, other than one is happening.

Therefore I must assume that the bad part of the deal is its existence in the first place. Now of course it exists to stop Iran from getting a nuclear weapon, so if your against that premise, your kinda pro Iranian nuke/anti peace.

Or in otherwords EXACTLY what your critics are saying about you.

So much for a good defense. And it keeps going down hill from there  

"BASH: Did you go -- did you go over it? Did you look at it, suggest...

MCCONNELL: Yes, I read it. I read it.

BASH: Make suggestions?

MCCONNELL: I thought it was entirely appropriate to explain that the process is going to include Congress at some point."

Except as your own damn website states, this process probably wouldnt include congress.

If you dont take my word for it, lets skip ahead a couple of minutes in this interview

"MCCONNELL: I think what we need to talk about here is the substance of the issue.

Apparently, the administration is on the cusp of entering into a very bad deal with one of the worst regimes in the world that would allow them to continue to have their nuclear infrastructure. We're alarmed about it. A number of Democrats are alarmed about it. We will be acting. We will either be voting on a bill that would require the deal to come to Congress. The president says he would veto that. "

Ok so first, not sure how McConnell knows the details of the deal, cause as I said the public knows nothing. But thats not really the point here.

The point is the last two sentences. Congress is voting on a bill requiring the deal to come to congress.

But you also just said the fact the deal was ALREADY going to involve congress is the reason why the letter is appropriate.

So then why would you need to vote on bringing something to congress that is already on its way to congress hence why your letter was a-ok?

Don't worry its a rhetorical question....you we lying the first time, because even you know there is no good excuse in telling Iran not to trust our government as you did.

Of course, probibly due to the several minute interval between contradictions there was no follow up beyond "so you dont think this letter hurt you?" "no" and they moved on the next subject.........at which point McConnell proceeded to put his foot in his mouth AGAIN.

"BASH: OK. Let's move on to human trafficking.
It's a bill that has -- talk about bipartisan support -- broad bipartisan support to stop human trafficking.

MCCONNELL: Yes.

BASH: It stalled in the Senate this past week. Democrats say that they are holding it up now because they discovered what they call an anti-abortion provision in there. And they are demanding that you take it out.

Just sort of big picture, this is the kind of thing that you said you wanted to stop. It was sort of the gridlock of the old Senate happening again.

MCCONNELL: Yes. I'm glad you brought this up.

The Democrats are acting the same way in the minority they did in the majority. They don't seem to like to vote. Here are the facts. This is -- was a noncontroversial bill. It came out of the Judiciary Committee unanimously. The language that they now profess to find offensive was in there from the beginning. "

On if the wording was changed or not, I have no idea. So for the moment I'm willing to concede that point to McConnell. Mostly because my focus was really on the first two sentences of the last paragraph.

Its one of those things that I'm sure sounds great.....assuming you dont understand english. I honestly could almost write a blog about the breakdown of internal logic just in those two sentences along.

For example. lets accept McConnell premise, that the Democrats just dont like to vote. Now while they were in the majority that certainly would have been a problem since the majority controls what bill. But since they are now in the minority, that shouldnt matter right?

Well not unless the minority could somehow control what comes to the floor...via this process we call a filibuster. Of course if the minority can filibuster maybe its not the democrats fault nothing got passed in the last two years?
 
Except of course, oddly McConnell didnt say the word "filibuster" (probably because he knows his is the first name that comes to mind when people hear it). Which might draw people to a different conclusion, that Mitch McConnell is to inept at his job to do it unless he can get the minority party to do it for him.

Yea....no matter how you slice it there is no way that sentence does good things for McConnell. Which I imagine will be a repeated problem for him if he really cant bring himself to say the word "Filibuster" when trying to explain to his voters why he couldnt do "X"

Anyways back to the interview. I actually cut the final paragraph of McConnell's previous point because I wanted to deal with it separately so here we go:

"And this will have an impact on the timing of considering the new attorney general. Now, I had hoped to turn to her next week, but, if we can't finish the trafficking bill, she will be put off again. They need to come to grips with this. I offered them a simple up-or-down vote if they wanted to take out language that they all voted -- that they all voted for three months ago."

Wait....so because the Dem's wont give you your abortion bill you wont give them an attorney general?

Thats not really a great idea for 2 reasons

1) the current attorney general eric holder is hated by republicans possibly more than Obama. You do realize he cant leave until you confirm his replacement right? So the longer that takes the longer your stuck with an AG your voters think should be removed from office ASAP.....

Democrats meanwhile love Holder, and many are sad to see him go. So threatening to not let him leave really isnt going to get democrats to cave to your demands. As long as they hold the line the Dem's get 100% of what they want, and you get nothing.

Great job convincing them to negotiate.......

2)  if confirmed Loretta Lynch would be the first black female AG in history.
And black folks are one of those groups the GOP keeps trying to reach out to....you think they will take kindly to seeing this delayed? I dont.

To make matters worse, Mitch McConnell should be at least in his 3rd, possibly 5th year as majority leader. Except in both 2010 and 2012 the GOP blew a what appeared to be a sure thing by focusing on 1 issue. Abortion/birth control.

So coming up on a presidential election, and a year numbers dont favor the GOP in the senate, you really want to focus attention on abortion by making it a bigger deal via linking it to something else?

More to the point, you really want to link your parties poison bill to the confirmation of a historic AG, so that you cant also shoot yourself in the foot on minority outreach at the same time?

Well I mean....what could possibly go wrong?

Unless maybe, just maybe, these two are linked in a way I dont see. Lets find out:

"BASH: So, it sounds like you are threatening to hold up Loretta Lynch, who has been in limbo for months and months...

MCCONNELL: It's not a threat. We need to finish this human trafficking bill that came out of the Judiciary Committee unanimously. That's the next item.

BASH: Right.

MCCONNELL: It's on -- it's on the Senate floor right now.

BASH: Right.

MCCONNELL: We need to finish that, so we have time to turn to the attorney general, because, the next week, we will be doing the budget, and two weeks -- and the next two weeks after that, Congress is not in session.

BASH: So, unless Democrats give in, Loretta Lynch's nomination will not be on the Senate floor next week?

MCCONNELL: We have to finish the human trafficking bill. The Loretta Lynch nomination comes next. And as soon as we finish the human trafficking bill, we will turn to the attorney general.

Oh. I get it. It turns out the two ARE linked, via the incompetency of Mitch McConnell's senate, which it seems can only do 1 thing at a time.

Just like McConnell's senate....except they wouldnt have managed the gum

 Which raises another question.....assuming the bill to bring the Iran deal to congress actually passes.....when exactly would you get around to voting on it?

Cause you seem kinda busy in the the next month or so....so I would assume maybe by may you would have found some time to vote on that bill.

And note that's just the bill.....presumably the deal itself would have to wait its turn in line until everything else got taken care of.....1 at a time of course.

Of course, at that rate none of this matters since I'm sure the deal will be done in less than a month.....so in less time then you need to bring the bill to the floor.

So what was your justification for the Iran letter again? since by your own admission the Senate is really really busy, so probably couldnt take on doing a second thing at once.....it might hurt your little teeny tiny brains.....

Mercifully for McConnell, other than some speculation on who might be the GOP nominee in 2016, that was the end of his interview, so he managed to get away without saying anything else stupid......this time anyways, at the rate he's going I'm sure he will have plenty of chances in the future.  

Senator Treason of Iran

So unless you've been living under a rock, you probably heard about the letter that 47 Republican senators sent to the government of Iran. You know, the one thats getting them accused of Treason....

By the way, as of March 12th 9:55 PM EDT, the top google result on the word "Treason" is an article about this letter. Now admittedly that article is explaining (correctly) why the letter is not Treason (although it may be criminal).

Still thats the top result just for the word Treason. So, when what you did tops that list I'm pretty sure thats a leading indicator that someone (read 47 republican senators) massively massively fucked up. In fact this has gotten so much attention, that even right wing websites are reporting the petition on whitehouse.gov demanding the republican's be charged with treason absolutely shattered the required number of signatures needed to get a white house response (the standard is 100,000 signatures in 30 days. As of yesterday, 2 days after the petition went up, it had 165,000 signatures, As of right now, it has 255,156 signatures.....or double and half again the required number....in 1/10 the time).

And here's the thing, potentially being seen as treasonous, isnt even the only problem in this letter.

Before we go any farther,  the Obama administration is currently involved in negotiations to prevent Iran from getting a nuclear bomb presumably by lifting trade sanctions in exchange for Iran to stop nuclear development and allow for regular inspections

Now with that in mind here is the letter itself:


"An Open Letter to the Leaders of the Islamic Republic of Iran:

It has come to our attention while observing your nuclear negotiations with our government that you may not fully understand our constitutional system. Thus, we are writing to bring to your attention two features of our Constitution—the power to make binding international agreements and the different character of federal offices—which you should seriously consider as negotiations progress.

First, under our Constitution, while the president negotiates international agreements, Congress plays the significant role of ratifying them. In the case of a treaty, the Senate must ratify it by a two-thirds vote. A so-called congressional-executive agreement requires a majority vote in both the House and the Senate (which, because of procedural rules, effectively means a three-fifths vote in the Senate). Anything not approved by Congress is a mere executive agreement.

Second, the offices of our Constitution have different characteristics. For example, the president may serve only two 4-year terms, whereas senators may serve an unlimited number of 6-year terms. As applied today, for instance, President Obama will leave office in January 2017, while most of us will remain in office well beyond then—perhaps decades.

What these two constitutional provisions mean is that we will consider any agreement regarding your nuclear-weapons program that is not approved by the Congress as nothing more than an executive agreement between President Obama and Ayatollah Khamenei. The next president could revoke such an executive agreement with the stroke of a pen and future Congresses could modify the terms of the agreement at any time.

We hope this letter enriches your knowledge of our constitutional system and promotes mutual understanding and clarity as nuclear negotiations progress."

Yea thats right. The senate of the United States (or 47 of its members) just wrote to the Iranian government saying that our government cant be trusted to hold up our end of the deal if you agree to not develop a nuke.

Starting to see the problem yet?

Now shockingly the letter actually got a response from Iran, per Iran's state controlled news

[Iranian Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad] Zarif expressed astonishment that some members of US Congress find it appropriate to write to leaders of another country against their own President and administration. He pointed out that from reading the open letter, it seems that the authors not only do not understand international law, but are not fully cognizant of the nuances of their own Constitution when it comes to presidential powers in the conduct of foreign policy.

Foreign Minister Zarif added, “I should bring one important point to the attention of the authors and that is, the world is not the United States, and the conduct of inter-state relations is governed by international law, and not by US domestic law. The authors may not fully understand that in international law, governments represent the entirety of their respective states, are responsible for the conduct of foreign affairs, are required to fulfil the obligations they undertake with other states and may not invoke their internal law as justification for failure to perform their international obligations.”

The Iranian Foreign Minister added that “change of administration does not in any way relieve the next administration from international obligations undertaken by its predecessor in a possible agreement about Iran’s peaceful nuclear program.”

“I wish to enlighten the authors that if the next administration revokes any agreement with ‘the stroke of a pen,’ as they boast, it will have simply committed a blatant violation of international law.”

He emphasized that if the current negotiation with P5+1 result in a Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action, it will not be a bilateral agreement between Iran and the US, but rather one that will be concluded with the participation of five other countries, including all permanent members of the Security Council, and will also be endorsed by a Security Council resolution.

Zarif expressed the hope that his comments “may enrich the knowledge of the authors to recognize that according to international law, Congress may not ‘modify the terms of the agreement at any time’ as they claim, and if Congress adopts any measure to impede its implementation, it will have committed a material breach of US obligations.”

The Foreign Minister also informed the authors that majority of US international agreements in recent decades are in fact what the signatories describe as “mere executive agreements” and not treaties ratified by the Senate.

He reminded them that “their letter in fact undermines the credibility of thousands of such ‘mere executive agreements’ that have been or will be entered into by the US with various other governments.”

Zarif concluded by stating that “the Islamic Republic of Iran has entered these negotiations in good faith and with the political will to reach an agreement, and it is imperative for our counterparts to prove similar good faith and political will in order to make an agreement possible.”

Now of course, this appears to be a case of He said/He said right? So how do we know who's right? lets go to the website of the United States Senate and see what they have to say about it.

Turns out they side overwhelmingly with the Iranian.....

"In addition to treaties, which may not enter into force and become binding on the United States without the advice and consent of the Senate, there are other types of international agreements concluded by the executive branch and not submitted to the Senate. These are classified in the United States as executive agreements, not as treaties, a distinction that has only domestic significance. International law regards each mode of international agreement as binding, whatever its designation under domestic law."

" According to a 1984 study by the Senate Committee on Foreign Relations, "88.3 percent of international agreements reached between 1946 and 1972 were based at least partly on statutory authority; 6.2 percent were treaties, and 5.5 percent were based solely on executive authority."

"The Constitution is silent about how treaties might be terminated."

Translation: While republicans got the name right, literally everything else goes to Iran. Most "treaties" arnt the treaties in the constitutional sense, but treaties in the international law sense. (this agreement for the record would most likely fit under the 93.8% of things the senate has no say on), and its actually not clear the president or next congress could modify the agreement with the stroke of a pen.

There is also one other very embarrassing thing on the Senate.gov website the Iranian foreign minister was nice enough not to mention.

You know that whole bit in the GOP letter "First, under our Constitution, while the president negotiates international agreements, Congress plays the significant role of ratifying them. "?

Well it turns out, per the Senate.gov website.....thats not true. "The Senate does not ratify treaties"
What they do instead is: the Senate approves or rejects a resolution of ratification. If the resolution passes, then ratification takes place when the instruments of ratification are formally exchanged between the United States and the foreign power(s)

Now, yes at the end of the day, the treaty cant move forward without senate consent, but still when you start your letter "It has come to our attention while observing your nuclear negotiations with our government that you may not fully understand our constitutional system." and it turns out the very point of which you are writing about is wrong (even if only via technicality) thats kinda embarrassing.

And that's only after the recipient of the letter writes a response showing he knows more about the subject than you.....and is supported by your own website.

So yea massively embarrassing website. Republicans attempted to show their expertise on the american government (which, you know, by virtue of being the american government they should kinda have) and instead get shown to be too fucking stupid to read their own job descriptions......

And all of that is before we get into the PR aspect of this. You know, the one that puts the Republican party on the same side as the radical militant Islamist in Iran, and against the concept of peace.....yea, thats gotta be the worlds strangest bedfellows ever.

All of which probably explains why republicans are running for the hills, trying to get as far away from this letter as they can, as fast as they can.

It started off as a slow walk away, when the day after the letter was published, this got reported:(per the dailybeast)

" Two GOP aides separately described their letter as a “cheeky” reminder of the congressional branch’s prerogatives.

“The administration has no sense of humor when it comes to how weakly they have been handling these negotiations,” said a top GOP Senate aide.""

Translation Well yea of course this letter looks bad.....if you think we actually meant it, we were just kidding.

Which then turned into a slow jog with comments like this:

"I also understand the frustration when this president has done everything in his power to prevent awareness on the part of congressional leadership on exactly what the terms under consideration are, or his willingness to sit down with Congress and talk about the legislation they are trying to pass right now, I think if we had a president who had engaged more in understanding that Congress has a very critical role in all elements of government, we could avoid this type of sad situation." (-George Pataki. One example of many like this)

Translation: Yea it was a fucking stupid letter. But Obama made us do it. Blame Obama. No really PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE blame Obama cause we cant accept we were that stupid.

Which has now turning into a full rout with comments like this:

“It was kind of a very rapid process. Everybody was looking forward to getting out of town because of the snowstorm, I think we probably should have had more discussion about it, given the blowback that there is.”

Translation: hey come on, we didnt even read the thing, so you cant assume we support it.

Oh, by the way, that statement was made by John McCain, who actually signed the letter. Was also the Republican Nominee for president a while back. Just, you know, in case people only think its political lightweights running away.

And he's not the only one: In fact most of the other signers have already passed over into the land of denial. Again as example. Senator Pat Toomey:

“That letter is just the most recent case of my doing all that I can to prevent Iran from having a nuclear bomb.”

Translation: That letter I signed, the one that said "dont trust the americans if they ask you to give up your bombs cause they will change the agreement after the fact" well thats actually three dimensional opposite day political chess game for "you should totally trust the americans and give up your nukes.

Finally we get to the ultimate in republican backpeddle, presumed presidential candidate Rand Paul:

""I'm kinda one of the Senators who's in favor of negotiations with Iran, I want there to be a peaceful outcome. But I want to strengthen the president's hand. I want to strengthen his hand by saying, you know what, we've got a lot of hardliners, and we're going to have to get this agreement by Congress and by doing so maybe the president will negotiate a more appropriate deal"

Translation: I undercut the negotiations because I'm in favor of them. AND I AGREE WITH OBAMA ON THEM AND I WANT TO HELP OBAMA DO BETTER.

Think about that. For the first time in 6+ years we have a high level republican saying basically they agree with President Obama on something.

Not only that, but the high level republican is presumably running for president in 2016 on a party wide platform of repudiate EVERYTHING Obama/democrats ever did.  Yet even he is now forced to look like he likes and agrees with Obama just to get his ass out of the fire.

So yea, if that doesnt show just how fucking deep the shit is the republicans put themselves in on this one, just how badly they miscalculated, that they now have to claim they are either bad at their jobs (McCain) and/or support Obama (Paul) literally nothing will.


But on the upside no one gives a shit anymore about John Boehner violating all kinds of diplomatic and governmental norms by inviting Netuyahu. So you know, at least one republican probably sees this letter as a good thing...... 

E-mails, Wolves, Snowballs and Swallowing. Lets start off 2015 on the stupid foot.

So I'm going to be honest, I thought I was done writing this series. I havnt had to do one in 8 months. And dont get me wrong, thats a good thing. It means for a while there, we actually had our stupid under control.

WELL SO MUCH FOR THAT. (I blame the upcoming 2016 elections, everyone knows that to politicians brain presidential election years are basically bacon wrapped chocolate covered heroin)

So yea, its once again time for THIS [fill in appreciate time period later] IN STUPID!

So we lead off with the Casually stupid. These are the poor smucks that had they spoken at a more intelligent time in our country wouldnt have made this blog, because, while they are morons, they honestly didnt say anything stupid enough to merit their own blog posts.  They just got in because they got caught in the gravitational pull of even stupider people.....

First up Rep. Don Young of Alaska, who early last week made the following comments about homeless people:

“We've got 79 congressmen sending you a letter, they haven’t got a damn wolf in their whole district, I’d like to introduce them in your district. If I introduced them in your district, you wouldn’t have a homeless problem anymore.”

He's right, you wouldnt have much of a homeless problem......you would have a problem with disease being spread by all the chewed on human corpses. (not to mention the problem of wolves trying to eat you)

And lets just hope the wolves are smarter than the Congressman (actually, they might be....). I mean it would be a shame if they accidentally attacked say, a child on the way home from school or a pregnant mother or something.

Next up, Senator Jim Inhofe. What did he do? well actually let me show you.

WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG TO BRING YOU BREAKING NEWS!

Testicular cancer has just been cured. See I reached down my pants, and I found not one but TWO balls. And if one ball disproves something, a second ball means the thing in question has been totally eradicated. You're welcome.

(P.S. I'm cooking dinner right now, so by the time you read this, I likely will have solved world hunger too)

Finally our 3rd and final slot in the "entry level stupid" category Iowa State Rep. Vito Barbieri.

In a hearing about the uses of telemedicine, a doctor has just spoken about how colonoscopies could be done via swallowing a camera, and viewing the footage as it "ended it trip"

To which Rep Barbieri said:

"Can this same procedure then be done in a pregnancy? Swallowing a camera and helping the doctor determine what the situation is?"

See kids, this is why we need comprehensive sex ed.....or at least anatomy classes.........

Next up, we get to mid level stupid. And we start this group off with Dr. Ben Carson, newly announced presidential candidate, who was trying to explain why he believes being gay is a choice:

“A lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight – and when they come out, they’re gay. So, did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question.”

So I asked myself that question, and in about 1/8 of a second I had my answer. Yes something DID happen to them in prison. It's called rape. And it doesnt make them gay, it makes them victims of crimes.

But hey, the good news, by understanding neither gay sex or rape, Dr. Carson has just assured he will do quite well for himself in the primary.

The bad news, the expression "you dont have to be a brain surgeon to understand [X]"/"its not brain surgery" just announced its retirement from the English language due to that bar being lowered to the point its now deep underground.

Next up, the Secretary of State of Kansas Kris Kobach, who on his own radio show this week said this:

"word is going to come down [from the white house] that there just won't be any prosecutions of black criminals and I can see it happening.Well, it's already happening, more or less, in the case of civil rights laws, So I guess it's not a huge jump. I think it's unlikely but, you know, I've learned to say with this president never say never."

Now what he's referencing to there is the infamous "Black Panther voting intimidation case" where the Justice Department decided their hadnt actually been any voter intimidation and dropped the case.

Oh but did I mention this happened in December of 2008? You know who was president in December of 2008 and who's administration made that decision? (right wrong or otherwise)

Although really, I guess I shouldnt be too surprised. Cause if you take Kobach's job title and initials, you have SS KKK.......So I guess assuming it was the black guys fault is kinda a requirement.....

Next up, Govenor of Wisconsin, and front-runner in the race to be the former Republican front-runner, Scott Walker, who in a recent campaign speech said this:

"One of the most powerful foreign policy decisions that I think was made in our lifetime was one that Ronald Reagan made early in his presidency when he fired the air traffic controllers....What it did, it showed our allies around the world that we were serious and more importantly that this man to our adversaries was serious."

Yea....I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure Reagan firing the air traffic controllers would be DOMESTIC policy....unless he fired them INTO Russia.....I also have a hunch the rest of the world didnt give a shit.....

"Years later, documents released from the Soviet Union showed that that exactly was the case, The Soviet Union started treating [Reagan] more seriously once he did something like that. Ideas have to have consequences." Then again, maybe I stand corrected.....

Oh wait I have just been handed this special bulletin from Jack Matlock, Ronald Reagan's ambassador to the Soviet Union, who has this to say about Walkers comments:

"It's utter nonsense. There is no evidence of that whatever."

Ok. nevermind I was right, Walkers an idiot. Although to be fair as far as covering for the fact he doesnt even know what foreign policy IS, let alone understand it enough to have one, that was a decent try.

And now, our winners, the people who ignored the advice

went full retard this time around, and are the stupidest people of the last 2/3rds of a year:

Hillary Clinton, her staff and former Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm.

Yea, you read that right. I just awarded stupidest people of at least 66% of a year to two Democratics. In fact, Gov Granholm's comments (which I'll get to) were the inspiration for me bringing this series out of retirement.

Ok so, unless you've been living under a rock, you know Clinton is in some trouble, because it appears that during her entire tenure as Sec of State she was using her personal email account.

Now I actually think her team is doing a good job handling the fallout of this, saying they want all the emails public and what have you. And I know most politicans use personal emails. That's not what landed her here.

What got her here was this one line in the original New York Times report:

"Mrs. Clinton did not have a government email address during her four-year tenure at the State 
Department."

Ok. so in a job that basically involves a lot classified government information being sent to and from, it didnt even occur to you or your staff that having some kind of secure account AVAILABLE might be a good idea?  You know, just in case you ever had to deal with an issue of national security?

But as bad as that is, that doesnt hold a candle to Gov Granholm's attempt to defend you. Which may actually be the worst defense ever offered by anyone on any subject.

So on the TV show, "The Last Word with Lawrence O'Donnell"  Gov Granholm had the following exchange: (which shockingly I'm quoting from Breitbart.com. I saw the exchange live on TV, and they have the best summary I've seen):

“well, the issue, Lawrence, is that — what was the state department’s proper recordkeeping system? What she did was follow the precedent that had happened before, which is that she had — she did e-mail –
O’Donnell then interjected “when there’s a new regulation issued while you are Secretary of State in 2009, you don’t get to say, ‘I’m doing what everyone before this regulation did,'” to which Granholm asked, “why not? [...] Lawrence, if it worked for the previous administration, why not –”
Ok so the key point here, is that in 2009 the law changed, and by all accounts Clinton didnt follow it. Granholm thinks that fine, because she did what everyone before her did, so the fact the law changed doesnt matter.

Which actually, now that I think about it, I kinda like that logic. In fact that logic is about to send me on a shopping spree.

I'm going to go buy a black person (or 3/5ths of one). I know I know, the 13th amendment says I cant do that. Well precedent and the logic of Gov Granholm say I can, so suck it.

And with that, I'm off. I gotta get going before all the good ones are sold.......

The Republican scramble to save Obamacare.

No thats not a typo in the headline. The truth of the matter is that, right now, behind the scenes, the biggest problem facing the Republican party is how to save Obamacare from the Republican party.

Alright, so you might have heard Obamacare is going to be up in front of the Supreme Court again. (arguments started yesterday in fact).

This time the case, King vs Burwell has to do with the specific wording of the law, so I need a minute to explain.

So, basically if you enroll in Obamacare you can qualify for tax subsidies to help make the cost more affordable. Seems simple enough.

Except there are two different kinds of Obamacare exchanges, the ones run by the states, and the ones run by the federal government. But the law, as written only refers to State-based exchanges.

So the republican argument is that the states that chose to have their exchanges managed by the fed's arnt technically state based, and therefore the people in those states arnt eligible for the subsidies.

Now the idea behind the Republican position was to make Obamacare look worse than it is by basically running up the prices/making healthcare unafforable by running up the prices, even in the states that are state run (because as the number of people enrolled in Obamacare goes down, prices would go up across the board), creating a death spiral that would kill Obamacare.

Now of course under this idea the states that have state based exchanges would take a while (years) to feel the affect, but the people in the federally run states would basically lose their insurance as soon as the Court ruled.

Which is actually the easily predictable and fully preventable problem the GOP is trying to save itself from.

You see the list of states that have created state run exchanges are as follows:
Vermont, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New York, Maryland, Kentucky, Minnesota, Colorado, New Mexico, Idaho, Nevada, California, Oregon, Washington and Hawaii. (on top of that New Hampshire, Iowa, West Virginia, Michigan, Illinois, Iowa and Arkansas all run state/federal partnerships and could easily transition to solely state run to keep subsidies.)

Now if you pay even the slightest attention to politics you might notice that most of those states have one thing in common, they are solidly Democratic. And those are the states least likely/would take the longest time for the Courts decision to reach.

Which leaves the other states, the Republican controlled states, as the ones who residents are going to get massively fucked over with skyrocketing and disappearing healthcare overnight, if republicans win.

Oh, and it should be pointed out, that the taxes being taken to support the subsidies would still be taken nationwide.....just only distributed to the blue states (+Kentucky Arkansas and Idaho)

So in short, the GOP has devised a system in which, the GOP will fuck over all of its own supporters by stripping them of their healthcare overnight, while still requiring them to pay for the healthcare of Democrats, who will be largely unaffected by any ruling, and will have years to make any needed changes.

I wonder, what do you think the chances are GOP voters might get a little pissed off about that????

You got to hand it to the GOP, thats basically the Mona Lisa of shooting themselves in the foot.

And like I said, its not like it was hard to see this coming, all the GOP had to do was google "Which states have state based healthcare exchanges"  to realize this was a very bad idea.

Which brings us to now,, over a year after they started down this road, the GOP is kinda waking up to the fact this is one of those "extra stupid with a side of moron"  ideas, and they are pretty desperately trying to stave off the negative affects they would bring to themselves if they win.

Case in point, earlier this week Republican Senators Orrin Hatch, Lamar Alexander and John Barrasso (all from states that will get fucked if the GOP wins), wrote an Op-ed entitled
"We have a plan for fixing health care", just to assuage the fears of any republican voter who is worried the people he voted for are going to fuck him over.

Thing is, the plan, is pretty fucking hilarious in its own right. Now if you want to read the whole Op-ed, just click on the link in the last paragraph, but here are the 3 paragraphs dealing with the republican plan to fix healthcare:

"First and most important: We would provide financial assistance to help Americans keep the coverage they picked for a transitional period. It would be unfair to allow families to lose their coverage, particularly in the middle of the year.[...]"

Second, we will give states the freedom and flexibility to create better, more competitive health insurance markets offering more options and different choices. Republicans understand that what works in Utah is different from what works in Tennessee or Wyoming. We want to give states the time and flexibility to design health-care systems that work for them, not for the bureaucrats in Washington.

People who live in states that have state exchanges will continue to be subject to Obamacare’s costly mandates and rules, along with the subsidies. But their states could also have the benefit of our solution. Every state would have the ability to create better markets suited to the needs of their citizens.

We have had many discussions with our Senate and House Republican colleagues on this issue, and there is a great deal of consensus on how to proceed. Many of our colleagues have good ideas, and we look forward to working together."

Translation:
First, we are going to pass legislation basically undoing the Court's ruling should we win. Now of course such a law would be temporary lasting only as long as we need to create an alternative (indefinite :P ).

(Which would be more reassuring of the GOP wasn't continually failing to pass their own bills, like the abortion bill that died in the House, or the DHS bill the Senate wouldnt pass ect.)

Second, on the subject of creating an alternative this is it:

Cause yea, in the last 6 years, we aint come up with shit and we hope by screaming freedom loud enough and long enough you kinda wont notice that, or the fact we are hoping to vote to save Obamacare if the Supreme Court wrongly decides we are right.

So there you have it folks, the new republican plan to save Obamacare by overruling the supreme court by really loudly yelling freedom. But hey, at least the blue face paint is going to be optional......

Things Rand Paul DOES understand: Rand Paul 2016

So I've stated all over the place that Rand Paul isnt running for president, despite everyone saying he is.

Now the reason I believe he's not running has to do with the laws in his home state of Kentucky, which prohibit appearing on the ballot for more than one statewide office.

Now Rand Paul's senate seat is up for election in 2016.....and since the whole state votes for senate, its a statewide office. As is the presidency. Which means Paul has to pick one.

(As a sidenote by the way, I'm actually on Rand Paul's side on this one. I believe if someone wants they should be able to run for two national level political offices at once. Furthermore these laws banning double ballot appearances pre-date the senate becoming a popularly elected body in 1913, following the passage of the 17th amendment, meaning 100 years ago Rand Paul wouldnt even have this problem, and the law clearly wasnt intended to stop senators from running for president.)

(second sidenote: perhaps ironically, 6 states have never attempted to ratify the 17th amendment....including Kentucky)

And the choice is actually pretty clear, as no former 1 term senator has ever become president with that being their only political office (although Lincoln was only a 1 term former member of the house). Basically if Rand Paul wants to be president some day......or wants to be relevant past the end of next year, he MUST run for the senate, because without that seat he's be irrelevant forever (or at least for 4 years until the next senate election in KY) when he loses the presidential nomination this time out.

Now for a while now, Paul has been trying with no success to get the government of the state of Kentucky to change this law (and most states have), and it hasnt worked.

Well it seems, Paul has found a new loophole. Because it's the parties and not the government who control the primary voting process.

So Rand Paul has asked the Republican party in the state of Kentucky to hold a presidential Caucus not a primary. (although the senate race would still be a primary)

You ses Caucuses dont have ballots and therefore Rand Paul's name would only be on the ballot once....for Senate, in the senate primary. And he could still run for president.

Furthermore it looks like this is going to work. Although nothing official has been announced yet, the republican party in Kentucky appears to be making the preliminary steps to set caucus.

Meaning the door is basically open for Rand Paul to run for president (despite my claims for a while now that this issue in Kentucky would stop him from running)

But there still is one "minor" problem.

And that problem almost caused this blog to be another installment of my "things rand paul doesnt understand" series......until I realized that Paul likely does understand this problem, just doesnt care.

And the problem is this........even if the state allows Caucuses, Rand Paul STILL can not run for President and the Senate at the same time.

Because the parties DO NOT control the General Election, the state does. And the State is still going to go with an ballot election format.   Which would be a problem for Rand Paul, as if he won the Republican Nomination for president, his name would be on the ballot twice.

So he would have to decide how he wants to fuck his state over (from a republican point of view anyways)

Would he remove his name from the presidential ballot....and give Kentucky's 8 electoral votes the the Democrats?

Or would he remove his name from the Senate race.....and effectively hand his senate seat to the Democrats?

Oh and before people mention write in votes as a way out, the state of Kentucky wont count write in votes for candidates who's names appear elsewhere on the ballot. So if Paul withdraws from the senate race, he cant win by write in, and vice versa.

And actually, the "choice"/problem might become much more complicated than that. Assuming I'm reading Kentucky statue 118.212 (which deals with candidates withdrawing from the race) correctly, it appears that after a certain point in the race, even if the candidate withdraws, their name STAYS on the ballot.....the state just doesnt count any votes for them, and posts a warning in all polling places informing people of that.

Which appears to mean that even if Paul chooses to withdraw from one race or the other, if he waits too long, the choice will either already be made for him, (and given how much later the presidential nomination comes than the Senate one, it would presumably be the Presidential Ballot he would be left off) or he might wind up tossed off BOTH races (with votes for him not counting).

Now even best case, where he is off the presidential ballot this is a major national problem for republicans.

Assuming no surprises in state outcomes (so they all go the way they usually do), the basic election map would likely look like this:

2016 Presidential Election: Electoral Map

That map gives the Dems a floor of 240 electoral votes, to the GOP's 208. (you need 270 to win).
But given that normally it would be be 232 electoral votes to the Dems, and 216 to the GOP Kentucky may not seem like that big a deal.

Consider that, with a Red Kentucky, the GOP have 7 paths to victory, to the Dem's 9.
But with a blue Kentucky, the GOP only has 6 paths to victory, and the Dems have 11.

So things become much easier for the Dem's who will have almost twice as many ways to win as the GOP

A blue Kentucky also means the GOP CAN NOT WIN unless they win the state of Florida. All 6 paths to victory include Florida. (with a red Kentucky, they could lose Florida, and still have 1 path the victory to the Dem's 4) By the way it should be pointed out, the Dems dont *need* to win any state. they could win with combinations of states. (so thats not great for the GOP, having one state be "cant lose" without any way to force the Dems into the same position

However winning Florida doesnt do much for the GOP.....they gain nothing (still having 6 ways to win), while reducing the Dems to only 6 ways to win.....meaning the race is now a 50/50.  (as opposed to a Red KY and a Red FL which would reduce the dems to 5 ways to win, a slighly GOP advantage). or at least mathematically it is.

Given that, in this set up the Dems are free to spread money around more than the GOP (who must spend enough in FL to ensure a victory), the GOP need to lock of FL will likely cost them other states, meaning realistically the race is probably has a slight Dem advantage even if the GOP wins FL.

So yea, to sum up, by giving up Kentucky, a Paul Presidential Campaign forces the GOP to win a state they otherwise dont need to win.....simply to keep things even (on paper if not reality), instead of the advantage winning that same state normally gives them.

In otherwords from a national Republican perspective, a Paul presidential campaign is very very bad for the party, and something they likely want to avoid.

Unless of course he has a solution for the general election too......which at the moment he doesnt.

Now for a while I assumed this was yet another sign of Paul's stupidity. He is crowing about fixing his problem.......without actually fixing his problem.

But it dawned on me, as a was preparing to write this blog......Rand Paul probably perfectly understands (or his staff do anyways) everything I laid out in this blog.

The problem is on MY end not his. You see I was assuming Rand Paul actually WANTS to win.

In 2012 people theorized that the Republican Primary had been hijacked by people who really just wanted to use the presidential race to increase their "asking price" and profiles.

It seems maybe they are right, and 2016 will be the same. Because if that is what Rand Paul is after......furthering himself, and not actually intending to win, then he doesnt have a problem.

His "Caucus solution" means, he can run for president, lose in the primary (as he is presumably expecting to and wants to), and go back to the senate suddenly "worth" a lot more, and seemingly higher profile.

He gets everything he wants out of this, and all the problems I address are negated because he's not trying to solve his general election problem, cause he doesnt have one, since he doesnt want to be in it.

In short, Rand Paul presumably understands what he's doing perfectly. This time around he's hoping its his supporters (who presumably want him to be president, and would be pissed off if they realized he was only exploiting the the race for personal/other gain) who dont understand.

the New 3DS. How to not market a video game system.

So if you follow video game systems, especially hand held's. you probably know there's a new dog in town....Nintendo's New 3DS.

Now if your not a hardcore gamer, just a casual gamer, you might be a little confused because the 3DS was the new handheld Nintendo released in 2011, so how can it be the hot new thing now?

Well you see thats because the New 3DS isnt the same as a 3DS, it just sounds like it is.

Which is only one of a ton of mistakes(?) Nintendo seems intent on making to kill their newest product. (cause you know, the Wii U launch failure didnt hurt enough)

Alright so for the non gamers out there, you currently have multiple Nintendo hand helds available to you.

You have the 3ds, this is the basic/generic version of the console, plays all 3ds games (duh) and in keeping with Nintendo tradition all DS (its predecessor) games. You also have the 3ds XL......which is exactly what it sounds like....its an extra large version of your 3ds, so it has larger screens and is larger (and therefore according to some, myself included, easier to hold) than a regular 3DS, but is otherwise identical. And then you have the 2ds. Which sounds a little confusing, as it sounds like it should be the predecessor to the 3ds, but the name actually makes sense when you look at it.

So the big gimmick from the 3DS, and the thing that separates it from the DS, is the ability to play games in "3D" as opposed to the 2D of other systems. The basic 3DS has a slider allowing you to turn the 3D on and off at will, and none of the games require the 3D to be on to play them (although it can make many of them look better)The 2DS is a cheaper low budget of the 3DS, that allows you to play all the 3DS games, but doesnt have to option to use the 3D feature.

So that brings us to the New 3DS, which sounds like it would replace the 3DS....but it doesnt. In fact the New 3DS will be sold concurrently with new 3DS models in stores, however in addition to playing all 3DS and DS software, the New 3DS will also have its own exclusive games called "New 3DS games" that will be released alongside newly developed games for the 3DS.

Which raises a question, is your new game a New 3DS game or just a new 3DS game? Given that the games tend to cost $40-$50 this is a point you definitely want to be sure of before you buy the game. Or prehaps more to the point, before a non gamer buys it for you as a gift.

I mean how awkward is it going to be when your girlfriend goes and buys you the soon to be released and massively hyped Xenoblade Chronicles for your birthday, only for you to have to explain that its a New 3DS game, and the new 3DS you got yourself for Christmas is actually the original model?

Or, maybe your girlfriend goes and gets you the [currently available] New 3DS package deal that comes with Monster Hunter 4....because your a huge Monster Hunter fan and she wants you to be able to play it since it clearly wouldnt work on your current 3DS.

Except it turns out it would, because despite being packaged with the New 3DS, Monster Hunter 4 is simply just a new 3DS game....it runs jut fine on every version of the 3DS.  And it can be bought separately from the New 3DS for about 1/4th of the price.

 You see how people might get confused?

And just wait, it gets worse.

See the reason Monster Hunter 4 is sold with the New 3DS is that, despite being a simple 3DS game, it benefits from the some of the New 3DS features. (well that and presumably to make people THINK its (and the other games you can buy packaged with the system) a New 3DS game when its not, so people think they have to buy the new system to play it)

For example, the New 3DS has an extra circle control pad that the original 3DS does not. In the case of Monster Hunter (and a lot of just released or soon to be released 3DS games), this extra circle pad will control the games "camera" making it easier to see the world around you. (the New 3DS also has 2 extra buttons on the back that will work the same kind of "make slightly easier" functions)

On the original 3DS systems you'll have to settle for using the slightly less accurate and less accessible touch screen controls.......unless of course your willing to shell out $20 for a device Nintendo released 2 years ago, called a Circle Pad pro, which adds that extra circle pad and 2 extra rear buttons to your existing 3DS at 1/5 the price of the New 3DS.

So you COULD buy a New 3DS for more functionality of your 3DS games....or you could save 80% and buy a piece of hardware that does the same thing.

Now the New 3DS  has 2 other innovations over the original 3DS systems;

first it also has something called Amiibo support.   Amiibo's are basically action figures that can interact with your video games....basically they unlock bonus features in the game. Which might sound cool if you really want EVERY feature in your game.  So that sounds like a reason to buy a New 3DS right?

Well except that, later this year, Nintendo plans to release another cheaply priced extra piece of equipment for the 3DS allowing it to do the same thing.

So yea, just wait a few months and your 3DS can do most everything a New 3DS can do.....unless not having to carry around 2 extra things with you (the Circle Pad Pro and the Amiibo support) is worth an extra $100+ to you.

Now the other innovation is, to be fair a New 3DS exclusive and will stay that way. That innovation is a better processor and graphics card. In English that means the games on the New 3DS will look nicer and run smoother than they will on the 3DS.

Except that, those features wont apply to any basic 3DS game being played on the New 3DS....it only applied to New 3DS exclusive games that cant be played on basic 3DS.

Which still sounds like a selling point, until you look at the [current] list of New 3DS exclusive games:

Xenoblade Chronicles.

Thats it. Thats the whole list. And given the time it takes to develop video games (at least a year) and the fact that Nintendo tends to release games in Japan months prior to the US (so all the upcoming american releases are already out in Japan), thats likely to remain the whole list for at least a year.

And the thing is, Xenoblade Chronicles itself was actually released 3 years ago for the Nintendo Wii....so if you really want to play it, you can go buy the Wii version for $55, and play on your Wii or Wii U system.....and if you dont own one you can buy a Wii for another $60, which is still much cheaper than the $200 you would have to spend on the New 3DS and additional $50+ for the game.

Now, for anyone who doesnt live in America, they may be another reason to buy a New 3DS. The "faceplates" (read casing) of the system can be changed and swapped out. In otherwords you can customize your system to give it an exterior apperance to match you. Maybe you love Mario and you want to show everyone....well you can buy the Mario faceplates for the New 3DS.....or maybe your on team Frokie.....well buy the Frokie ones. Or you want your work friends to think your "mature" so you get the Fire Emblem plates.....only to remove them and put on your Zelda plates, when you hang out with your old college friends who know your a nerd.

Its not the best reason in the world to buy a new system....but hey to the right person (admittedly not me) it probibly sounds pretty cool.

But note I said this doesn't apply in America (where I live, and I assume most of my readers do too)

You see, in every other country in the world Nintendo released two new systems, the New 3DS, which was the size of the original 3DS and the New 3DS XL, which was the size of the 3DS XL. However the New 3DS XL does not have the ability to change faceplates for some odd yet unexplained reason.

In this country however Nintendo only released the "New 3DS"....except that the american "New 3DS" is actually the New 3DS XL model in the rest of the world, so we got shafted on the changeable face-plates thing.

Also, if you buy a New 3DS and you read a game review and they make any comment (positive or negative) about the game's visual appearance or resolution, and thats going to impact your purchasing decision, you better make sure you know if its a foreign website/which version of the "New 3DS" they are taking about, the American or International version.

Because it would suck ass to buy a game that was touted as having amazing visuals on the [international] New 3DS screen, only to find out they look slightly distorted on the larger screen your american New 3DS has.

(further adding to the confusion, some websites/stores are using the New 3DS XL name for the american New 3DS, so it may seem like a different item despite being the same thing)

Now you may have noticed that up till now I've been writing this assuming you already own a 3DS and are considering upgrading. Well it turns out theirs a reason for that......that appears to be the same assumption Nintendo is making.

Alright, so given that its a portable system, the New 3DS runs on a battery that needs to be recharged....just like your cell phone, tablet, ect.

Without a recharge, the thing is going to stop working in about 5 hours.

Now in typical Nintendo fashion, the New 3DS uses the same charger as the original 3DS, the 2DS and the DS. So if you happen to already own one of those systems, your golden.

If you dont.....well honestly your fucked.

See unlike those other systems, the New 3DS doesnt come packaged with a charger. You have to buy it separately.

And its almost impossible to find. Amazon doesnt sell them. Neither does Walmart, or Best Buy, or Game Stop (these being the 4 largest video game retailers in the country).

Now Nintendo's on line website DOES sell them.....for an extra 10 dollars (this in addition to the $200 you spend on the system.....more if you want a game). Thing is, based on what I can find online, the fastest Nintendo's on line store ships things seems to be about 3 days.....but seeing claims of 1-2 WEEKS is much more common.

So yea, if you go to the store and buy a New 3DS without already owning one of its predecessors, your going to be able to play it for a whole 5 hours (give or take) over the next 3-14 days.......

So yea, to sum up, Nintendo's new console seems to be entirely directionless.

Its clearly aimed at people looking to upgrade (since it cant be used out of the box), while giving
them absolutely no reason to (1 semi exclusive game, thats actually cheaper to buy for another system, and features that can be added to the existing system for less) Also its name is sure to confuse the living shit out of the casual gamer and make figuring out what you want to/can buy much harder, for no good reason.

In other-words, this system SHOULD be a massive PR disaster and colossal failure.

But this is America, the land of upgrading your smartphone every 6 months for the same fucking phone with different number at the end of the name.  So I fully expect Nintendo to make a record profit and break sales records of all kinds with the New 3DS.

Because Americans are stupid and will buy anything with "New" in the name.....even without a reason.

Then again, as noted at the beginning the Wii U pretty much flopped out of the gate, so maybe Im too cynical and Nintendo just really sucks at this whole "thinking out decisions" thing....