Going off the rails with a crazy Brain [surgeon]

I realize this is becoming a reoccurring theme....but Ben Carson is having a shitty shitty month.



First he tweeted this:

Anyone see the problem?

Hint: Check the map. Still dont see it?
Hint #2: Are you from New England by any chance?

If you are, youve likely noticed ALL of new England is in the wrong place.....assuming its there at all.

I can see Maine, I can see New Hampshire and I can see Massachusetts.

Also I can see a blue sideways L shaped thing below those 3 states connecting them to New York. But what the hell state is that? It's in the place of Connecticut...but Connecticut looks like this:

So maybe its Vermont? Well Vermont looks like this:

Wait! I just figured out (as in I legitimately just realized it as I was posting in the two above pictures, this not section was not planned out) what that Blue L is....what if we took ALL of New England, except Vermont and slid them all the way up so that Maine was located somewhere near Newfoundland?

That would put Connecticut right on top of the top of Vermont......which would look a little bit like a sideways L....And apparently Carson Campaign, decided to handle the border dispute by just merging the two states into the new state of Vernecticut....(and yes I've checked a blown up image of that part....there is no border, its not that if cant be seen, its not there)

Which now means we only have to find Rhode Island...which I assume is supposed to be the tiny white rectangle near the end of the L. Of course, oddly while Rhode Island is small.....its not THAT small....it appears to have lost about half its territory to Vernecticut. Also why is it WHITE? per the map Blue means one thing, Red means the other, and Grey means neutral. But what is white? and why is it only Rhode Island?

And actually New England isnt the only mistake, The bottom portion of the Delmava Peninusla, on the eastern coast of Delaware Maryland and Virginia which as the name suggests, is part of Virginia, appears to have been annexed by Maryland.

Now while I'm willing to assume that was a simple mistake (as we are dealing with a very small piece of land)...how the fuck did the whole New England mess happen?

Its not like its god damn difficult to find a blank map of the united states. Just google "Blank map of the united states" and youll have hundreds you can download and color...with all the states and borders in the right place. Then you upload and post your image...no guess work on state locations required.

And I cant even believe that was a copy paste job gone wrong after they decided to move the map in the image. Notice the border of Vermont seems intact....thats highly unlikely as an accident given that that border touches New Hampshire....some one had to deliberately cut along that border. Although even I cant hazard a guess why? Maybe some kind of slight to Bernie Sanders (who's from Vermont)? Who the hell knows.....

 So again, Why did this happen? and most importantly will Ben Carson's campaign realize their mistake before the New Hampshire Primaries? Cause if Carson uses that map hes going to wonder why all the New Hampshire voters speak French....,.


Sadly Geographic is only the start of Carson's problems this time around.

Who would you think said this?

“Nobody has been able to sit down with [Carson] and have him get one iota of intelligent information about the Middle East,”

If you guessed a Democrat....youre wrong.

If you guesses any of his republican opponents, or anyone working for or endorsing them....youre wrong.

If you guessed one of his own foreign policy advisers...DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER.

Now this was said in response (I assume) to Carson's declaration in the last debate that China has troops in Syria....which was a surprise to many, including the Chinese.

Carson's doubling down on this, by making the outrageous claim that he was right and supporting it as follows:

“I have several sources that I’ve gotten material from. I am surprised my sources are better than [the governments], [The White House] will have an opportunity to see my material.”
Right...because you know Dr. Dumbass has better sources than the Pentagon, CIA, NSA, State Department ect combined....

Not too shockingly Dr. Doofus had to walk the statement back...claiming he was joking.


By the way, the adviser who attacked him for this, one Duane Clarridge, wasn't done as he also added "Mr. Carson needed weekly conference calls briefing him on foreign policy so “we can make him smart.”

Yea...see the allegation is that Carson is so dumb, even weekly briefing arnt helping.

I spell this out, because it seems Carson's Crack[pot] campaign staff didnt get the memo as this was their response:

"Mr. Clarridge has incomplete knowledge of the daily, not weekly briefings, that Dr. Carson receives on important national security matters from former military and State Department officials"

See, Clarridge is wrong. Carson's not an idiot who gets WEEKLY briefings.....he's an idiot who gets DAILY briefings.

There's a term for what Carson's campaign just did to him with that defense its called.....NOT HELPING!!!!!!!!!

They added:

"Mr. Clarridge's input to Dr. Carson is appreciated but he is clearly not one of Dr. Carson's top advisors. For the New York Times to take advantage of an elderly gentleman and use him as their foil in this story is an affront to good journalistic practices."

Right....see hes clearly not one of Carson's top advisers because he didnt realize that Carson was in fact 7 times stupider than he thought he was.  And the New York Times should feel bad giving Carson 7 times more credit than he should get. That is bad journalism....they are right on that...

Incidentally. you know who is probably thrilled that Carson's campaign doesnt consider him that close to Carson...and implies he is in no way responsible for Carson's foreign policy ideas?  Duane Clarridge, who probably would like to have a job advising someone after Carson.

Like seriously the Carson campaign thinks they got one over on Clarridge.....by creating distance between him and Carson's stupidity and pointing out Carson is much stupider than Clarridge thought.

 Again: YOU. PEOPLE. ARE. NOT. HELPING.

But sadly for Dr. Dumbdumb, the week got even worse when Donald Trump said this:
"I watched in Jersey City, NJ where thousands and thousands of people were cheering as that building was coming down," Trump said Saturday at a rally in Birmingham, Alabama. "Thousands of people were cheering, so something's going on we got to find out what it is."

Now your probably wondering how a quote from Herr Trump gets Carson in trouble..well see AFTER Der Fuhrer made his comment Der Moron made his in which he was asked about his opinion to these alleged Muslims cheering. He said:

“There are going to be people who respond inappropriately to virtually everything. I think that was an inappropriate response, I don’t know if on the basis of that you can say all Muslims are bad people — I really think that would be a stretch.”

He also added that while he didnt see it happen that “I saw the film of it, yes,”. To which a reporter asked, just to make sure there was no miscommunication "In New Jersey?" to which carson again said yes and added that it was in "the newsreels" at the time

Now heres the problem. No Such Tape exists....because no such thing happened. Which led to this awkward as fuck walk back by Carsons campaign. a couple HOURS later, ABC tweeted this:

"Carson camp says he doesn't stand behind comments & apologizes.Was thinking of Middle East, not New Jersey,camp says"

Totally understandable mistake really. Seriously, you tell me which of these is Jersey City and which one is in the middle east:

 

I cant tell them apart AT ALL.....

By the way Carson's walk back didnt end with basically admitting he spoke with no damn clue as to what words were coming out of his mouth. he later went on FOX and added this

"I thought we were just talking about the fact that Muslims were inappropriately celebrating. I didn't know that they had an agenda behind the question."

Yea see, its not his fault.....he though the question was just about Muslims...not specific Muslims...even though that was both part of the original question....and a follow up.....he cant be expected to pay attention to small details....like WHERE things are....of IF they are real.

And of course, if he realized the media had an agenda...like reporting the things people say verbatim...well thats just not fair. Its not the medias job to report stuff.....

Speaking of the media tricking Carson into speaking and recording it, Carson was recently interviewed by CSPAN for part of their "Road to the White House" series and asked which former president he admired.

"I’m impressed by a lot of them, but particularly impressed with Thomas Jefferson, who seemed to have very deep insight into the way that people would react, And he tried to craft our Constitution in a way that it would control people’s natural tendencies and control the natural growth of the government.”

Which is cool and all....except for one small problem. Jefferson had NOTHING to do with the Constitution. He wasnt even in the country at the time, let along crafting ANYTHING.

He was actually in France at the time, acting as America's minister, and throwing his full support behind the nascent French Revolution...an event he assumed based on how he expected people to react, would be mostly bloodless and widely popular and successful.

 Of course, the French Revolution was result in the deaths of ten's of Thousands in "The Terror", and eventual dictatorship of Napoléon Bonaparte and the restoration of the monarchy....so I'm not even sure we can give Jefferson credit for "insight into how people react" part of Ben Carson's Bullshit.

So yea, in the course of a week, the Dr Dipshit has managed to flunk Geography, History, Journalism, Foreign Policy and even throwing an advisory over board....What makes this guy think he's qualified to be president again?

Ok though, kidding aside, why does this seem strangely familiar....a republican who SHOULD be smart, who instead seems really kinda dumb, has odd intelligence data no one else has, and had trouble differentiating between Middle Eastern countries?

Actually you know what.....maybe Carson does know EXACTLY what he is doing, after all it worked before.