(ok fine I admit it, The Rock's version is better :( )
I gotta admit, I'm a bit shocked it took this long. I havnt actually had to do one of these in months (4 to be exact), as most of the stupid has been stand alone incidents that got their own blogs,but something about this time of year must bring out the stupid in people, because suddenly it's coming fast and furious.
First up we have The Donald. And I'll be honest, I'm also tempted to file this under "honorable mention" or just even pass over it entirely. Because here's the thing about Donald Trump, I dont think he actually believes any of his own bullshit, he just really is that much of an attention whore (see his claims to send a task force to Hawaii to investigate the Presidents Birth Certificate that he never actually followed through on). But he's here because he is in part responsible for half of the rest of the list. Well that and he is actually foreshadowing the future of all the Birthers.
Up and coming Freshman Senator Ted Cruz of Texas is considering one of the major prospects of the Right Wing in the 2016 presidential race. The Right loves him, the Tea Party loves him ect, ect.
There is however one small problem. As Jonathan Karl put it when Interviewing Mr. Trump:
“Ted Cruz, born in Canada — is he eligible to be president of the United States?”
yep thats right, the [way too early] hope of the GOP for 2016 is Canadian.
Trump's response by the way?
“Well, if he was born in Canada, then perhaps not, But I’m not sure where he was born.”
He was born in Canada, you just got told that.
Also "Perhaps not?" how exactly could one be born in Canada and still be president Mr. Trump? Havnt you and your birther ilk been running around for 5 years now claiming unless you were born here inside America your not naturally born?
Shouldnt that be a hard "no"?
Or are you just too much of a chickenshit to hold to your same standards when its allegedly someone from your own party (by which I mean I also dont believe Trump is actually a Republican)
By the way, as it turns out, Cruz is eligible, ever since George Romney, who was born in Mexico, ran for president the standard has been you only need 1 american parent to be legally eligible, and Curz's mother is.
Trump and the rest of the birthers cant say that however, because the one and only fact they have accepted in their crazy theory is that Obama's mother was American.
So if they try to excuse Cruz, they have to admit to the world they knowingly lied to them for years about Obama just to manipulate them. Which means if Cruz does run, your gonna see a lot more birthers look stupid in the next few years....something the next few nominees on my list really should pay attention too.
Those next nominees are Representatives Markwayne Mullin (OK), Blake Farenthold (TX) and Ted Yoho (FL)
All 4 of these guys have one thing in common, they are all birthers or just play one on TV.
First up was Mullin who told a woman at one of his town halls who was demanding an investigation of Obama's birth that:
"I believe what you’re saying and I don’t support this president whatsoever. But ma’am, we lost November 6th. We had the opportunity to get another president in there. [...] We had four years to take care of that. Our country’s facing some serious issues. If the rest of the American people thought that was a big enough issue which, I thought it probably would’ve been. Who would’ve thought we would ever actually be questioning if we had a natural-born president being president? Who would’ve ever thought that we’d actually be there? [...] So when I say we lost the argument, we lost that argument. Now let’s move on to some other issues. I believe it’s still there, but my God if we didn’t prove it the first four years, what do you think the chances are now?"
Now he gets bottom billing because lets be honest, he just wants this woman to shut up and go away, at least judging by the end of his comments. But he still got on the list for being stupid enough to think that somehow he could also feed the troll.
I mean really it takes a major brain malfunction to both think the president is illegal, but that there also isnt any point in attempting to enforce the law because hey we lost?
Hmm actually I have a thought there, but before I get into it lets bring in Congressman Farenthold, who at his town hall said this:
“I think unfortunately the horse is already out of the barn on this, on the whole birth certificate issue. The original Congress when his eligibility came up should have looked into this and they didn’t. I’m not sure how we fix it.
You tie into a question I get a lot, if everybody's so unhappy with what the President’s done, why don’t you impeach him, I’ll give you a real frank answer about that, if we were to impeach the President tomorrow, you could probably get the votes in the House of Representatives to do it. But it would go to the Senate and he wouldn’t be convicted.
What message do we send to America if we impeach Obama and he gets away with what he’s impeached for and is found innocent? What do we say then is okay, Aside from the fact that it wouldn’t be effective, I think there’s some potential damage to society that would be done with a failed attempt at impeachment.”
Ok so to answer the first part of Mr. Farenthold's question I actually have a suggestion as to how to "fix it"......STOP FEEDING THE TROLLS and tell the truth.
Cause lets be honest, both of your excuses SUCK.
See my thought for Mr. Mullin kind of apply's to you too. If the rule is the house shouldnt waste its time doing ANYTHING that couldnt pass the senate, how exactly do you explain those 40 votes to repeal Obamacare?
I'm just saying, by y'alls own logic your own party (and yourselves for voting to repeal) are incompetent and insane.
Oh by the way, having had sometime to think about it, Mr. Farenthold isnt backing down, when asked if he was a Birther his spokesman said "I think that issue has come and passed. His comments on the video are what we’re going with.”
So thats a "Yes he's a birther AND totally incompetent at his job" basically.
Next up the final of our 3 birthers, Ted Yoho.
Unlike Morons 1 and 2, Yoho claims he is actually is going to do something, claiming he called Representative Steve Stockman to sign on to a bill that Stockman is allegedly rumored to be introducing that would launch a congressional investigation into Obama's Birth Certificate.
Yoho also said a Pirates life was for him. No wait sorry, Yoho also said in his reply: "But then they said, well, if [the birth certificate] is truly illegal, he shouldn't be there and we can get rid of everything and I said I agree with that,"
Um yea, see thats not actually how impeachment works. I know I've covered this before (basically every this week in stupid article that has a birther) but even if you impeached Obama, you wouldnt get rid of everything. All you would do is make Joe Biden President, everything passed into law in the last 5 years would still be law.....
It says something about how stupid you are when you actually have the power to impeach (as a member of congress) and still cant be bothered to figure out how it works. Seriously, sounds like maybe your job is too complicated for you.......
Next up, we actually pivot off the birthers, yet somehow still cant away from the stupid people.
By which I mean our next Nominee is Ted Yoho (Again).
At the same town hall as mentioned above Pirate Cap'n Yoho, also had this to say about the tanning tax in Obamacare.
“I had an Indian doctor in our office the other day, very dark skin, with two non-dark skin people, and I asked this to him. I said, ‘Have you ever been to a tanning booth?’ and he goes, ‘No, no need.’ So therefore it’s a racist tax and I thought I might need to get to a sun tanning booth so I can come out and say I’ve been disenfranchised because I got taxed because of the color of my skin."
Yea, three points:
1) Um, no one actually HAS to tan. I'm white, I've never been in a tanning bed. You know why? no need. Just like your doctor, I've never actually needed a tan. Choosing to engage or not engage in a voluntary activity that is open to all is not racist.....unless you can prove to me a tanning salon wouldnt actually take the money of your Indian doctor....
2) You can actually tan naturally, I believe the term is called sun bathing. It's an activity that is actually done on most beaches all the time, and would still be tax free. You do have beaches in your home state of Florida right?
Also, and I realize this is a stretch, maybe, that's what your Indian Doctor meant? I mean maybe he just goes to the beach to tan, therefore there is no need to pay for something he's getting for free? Just saying.....
3) and this is my favorite: you basically just admitted to my first two points yourself in your own rant. See the part where you say: "I thought I might need to get to a sun tanning booth so I can come out and say I’ve been disenfranchised because I got taxed because of the color of my skin."?
Well if you actually needed or had ever wanted a tan, I'm pretty sure youd have already been to a booth, and therefore by your logic, would have already been discriminated against. yet clearly, by your own admission, you havnt. Because you dont need a tan and its a totally voluntary thing.
Way to accidentally shoot down your own point.....sadly your too stupid to even notice you did so. Luckily for you, thats why I'm here, to help you figure it out.....
Next up, another familiar name, also earning his second nomination of the night, Congressman Markwayne Mullin.
See according to Mr. Mullin all food stamp recipients are committing fraud. How does he know this?
"So I’m in Crystal City and I’m buying my groceries…and I noticed everybody was giving that card. They had these huge baskets, and I realized it was the first of the month. But then I’m looking over, and there’s a couple beside me. This guy was built like a brick house. I mean he had muscles all over him. He was in a little tank top and pair of shorts and really nice Nike shoes. And she was standing there, and she was all in shape and she looked like she had just come from a fitness program. She was in the spandex, and you know, they were both physically fit. And they go up in front of me and they pay with that card. Fraud. Absolute 100% all it is is fraud…it’s all over the place. And there you go, to the fact that we shouldn’t tbe supporting those who won’t work. They’re spending their money someplace."
The first thing I notice is that math really isnt Mullin's strong point. see according to him EVERYONE he saw had "that card". Now its safe to assume this is a much higher number than two.
two being the number of people Mullin said looked "fit". Now even if we buy Millin's premise that eating is the only way and only thing needed to look fit (and my fat ass is proof that aint true since I eat all the time :p ), he is basically saying that only 2 of the X number of people he saw were committing fraud.
Which according to him is 100% I think its a safe bet that 2 of my readers are very attractive women. Therefore I guess I can say all of my readers are very attractive women. I mean I have had 21 readers today alone, but by using Mullin math I can safely say you are all very sexy women.
Of course in the real world, using the Mullin standard, Mr. Mullin saw a hell of a lot of people who clearly were not fit, therefore if they were all on food stamps cant possible be committing fraud since they dont meet the Mullin standard.
And of course, as hinted at before it is in fact entirely possible to be in good shape and really not eat that well....its also (shockingly to morons like Mullin) possible to be working AND be on food stamps (IE the 100 million in food stamps spend each year by military families) due to not making enough money and other issues. Just saying.
So yea, not only do you disprove your own math, you also just proved you have no idea how fitness works either. So yea, proving your self stupid in two subjects at once = Bonus Stupid points...
That said, our winner of the week is actually Ted Yoho (yo ho a pirates life for me)....and not for either of his two previous nominations. What can I say dudes having a brutal week.
Yoho's 3rd and winning nomination is for this comment about NOT paying back our debt to other countries:
Cause lets be honest, both of your excuses SUCK.
See my thought for Mr. Mullin kind of apply's to you too. If the rule is the house shouldnt waste its time doing ANYTHING that couldnt pass the senate, how exactly do you explain those 40 votes to repeal Obamacare?
I'm just saying, by y'alls own logic your own party (and yourselves for voting to repeal) are incompetent and insane.
Oh by the way, having had sometime to think about it, Mr. Farenthold isnt backing down, when asked if he was a Birther his spokesman said "I think that issue has come and passed. His comments on the video are what we’re going with.”
So thats a "Yes he's a birther AND totally incompetent at his job" basically.
Next up the final of our 3 birthers, Ted Yoho.
Unlike Morons 1 and 2, Yoho claims he is actually is going to do something, claiming he called Representative Steve Stockman to sign on to a bill that Stockman is allegedly rumored to be introducing that would launch a congressional investigation into Obama's Birth Certificate.
Yoho also said a Pirates life was for him. No wait sorry, Yoho also said in his reply: "But then they said, well, if [the birth certificate] is truly illegal, he shouldn't be there and we can get rid of everything and I said I agree with that,"
Um yea, see thats not actually how impeachment works. I know I've covered this before (basically every this week in stupid article that has a birther) but even if you impeached Obama, you wouldnt get rid of everything. All you would do is make Joe Biden President, everything passed into law in the last 5 years would still be law.....
It says something about how stupid you are when you actually have the power to impeach (as a member of congress) and still cant be bothered to figure out how it works. Seriously, sounds like maybe your job is too complicated for you.......
Next up, we actually pivot off the birthers, yet somehow still cant away from the stupid people.
By which I mean our next Nominee is Ted Yoho (Again).
At the same town hall as mentioned above Pirate Cap'n Yoho, also had this to say about the tanning tax in Obamacare.
“I had an Indian doctor in our office the other day, very dark skin, with two non-dark skin people, and I asked this to him. I said, ‘Have you ever been to a tanning booth?’ and he goes, ‘No, no need.’ So therefore it’s a racist tax and I thought I might need to get to a sun tanning booth so I can come out and say I’ve been disenfranchised because I got taxed because of the color of my skin."
Yea, three points:
1) Um, no one actually HAS to tan. I'm white, I've never been in a tanning bed. You know why? no need. Just like your doctor, I've never actually needed a tan. Choosing to engage or not engage in a voluntary activity that is open to all is not racist.....unless you can prove to me a tanning salon wouldnt actually take the money of your Indian doctor....
2) You can actually tan naturally, I believe the term is called sun bathing. It's an activity that is actually done on most beaches all the time, and would still be tax free. You do have beaches in your home state of Florida right?
 |
| Rep. Yoho's family picture, from his campaign website. I think its safe to say he's heard of beaches... |
3) and this is my favorite: you basically just admitted to my first two points yourself in your own rant. See the part where you say: "I thought I might need to get to a sun tanning booth so I can come out and say I’ve been disenfranchised because I got taxed because of the color of my skin."?
Well if you actually needed or had ever wanted a tan, I'm pretty sure youd have already been to a booth, and therefore by your logic, would have already been discriminated against. yet clearly, by your own admission, you havnt. Because you dont need a tan and its a totally voluntary thing.
Way to accidentally shoot down your own point.....sadly your too stupid to even notice you did so. Luckily for you, thats why I'm here, to help you figure it out.....
Next up, another familiar name, also earning his second nomination of the night, Congressman Markwayne Mullin.
See according to Mr. Mullin all food stamp recipients are committing fraud. How does he know this?
"So I’m in Crystal City and I’m buying my groceries…and I noticed everybody was giving that card. They had these huge baskets, and I realized it was the first of the month. But then I’m looking over, and there’s a couple beside me. This guy was built like a brick house. I mean he had muscles all over him. He was in a little tank top and pair of shorts and really nice Nike shoes. And she was standing there, and she was all in shape and she looked like she had just come from a fitness program. She was in the spandex, and you know, they were both physically fit. And they go up in front of me and they pay with that card. Fraud. Absolute 100% all it is is fraud…it’s all over the place. And there you go, to the fact that we shouldn’t tbe supporting those who won’t work. They’re spending their money someplace."
The first thing I notice is that math really isnt Mullin's strong point. see according to him EVERYONE he saw had "that card". Now its safe to assume this is a much higher number than two.
two being the number of people Mullin said looked "fit". Now even if we buy Millin's premise that eating is the only way and only thing needed to look fit (and my fat ass is proof that aint true since I eat all the time :p ), he is basically saying that only 2 of the X number of people he saw were committing fraud.
Which according to him is 100% I think its a safe bet that 2 of my readers are very attractive women. Therefore I guess I can say all of my readers are very attractive women. I mean I have had 21 readers today alone, but by using Mullin math I can safely say you are all very sexy women.
Of course in the real world, using the Mullin standard, Mr. Mullin saw a hell of a lot of people who clearly were not fit, therefore if they were all on food stamps cant possible be committing fraud since they dont meet the Mullin standard.
And of course, as hinted at before it is in fact entirely possible to be in good shape and really not eat that well....its also (shockingly to morons like Mullin) possible to be working AND be on food stamps (IE the 100 million in food stamps spend each year by military families) due to not making enough money and other issues. Just saying.
So yea, not only do you disprove your own math, you also just proved you have no idea how fitness works either. So yea, proving your self stupid in two subjects at once = Bonus Stupid points...
That said, our winner of the week is actually Ted Yoho (yo ho a pirates life for me)....and not for either of his two previous nominations. What can I say dudes having a brutal week.
Yoho's 3rd and winning nomination is for this comment about NOT paying back our debt to other countries:
"I say, You know what, I know we need the money, and I’m gonna pay it, I’m just not paying you today, and we’ll pay you with interest, but we need to do a major reset and look at us internally, and say we can’t afford this...So let's just address the problem, and I think if we address it, I think the creditors that we owe money to around the world would say, "you know what, they're getting their house in order." And I think our credit rating would do better, if we did that than face the mass [sic] program we've been up to"
Because hey, having just stiffed you on your money and the interest we already owe, should totally convince you that next time I'll be good for it.....
And I mean lets be honest, who doesnt get a break on their mortgage payments, student loans and credit card bills when they just tell their debtors that "hey dude I need the money for something else, so I cant pay you yet. I'm using the money to fix up some other stuff but I will totally pay you later". I know that excuse always works for me.
I mean really, thats how borrowing money works right? you give me cash when I need it, I give it back to you....unless I'd rather not because I might need it for something else. Right?
Yea so for basically failing to understand how debt works in addition to all the other things he doesnt understand, Ted Yoho is the stupidest person of the week (and actually by default, the stupidest person of the last four months.....)
Because hey, having just stiffed you on your money and the interest we already owe, should totally convince you that next time I'll be good for it.....
And I mean lets be honest, who doesnt get a break on their mortgage payments, student loans and credit card bills when they just tell their debtors that "hey dude I need the money for something else, so I cant pay you yet. I'm using the money to fix up some other stuff but I will totally pay you later". I know that excuse always works for me.
I mean really, thats how borrowing money works right? you give me cash when I need it, I give it back to you....unless I'd rather not because I might need it for something else. Right?
Yea so for basically failing to understand how debt works in addition to all the other things he doesnt understand, Ted Yoho is the stupidest person of the week (and actually by default, the stupidest person of the last four months.....)
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