The Vagina Monologue

So, dear reader, I have a question are you a vagina or are you a Man?  When you applied for your job (and I assume you have one) when you got the voluntary self disclosure part did you check the "M" box or the "V" box? When you use the restroom do you go in the door that says "Gentlemen" or the one that says "Vagina"

What's that you say, your a woman? what is that? thats not the educated term for it at all. If you dont believe me just as Republican New Hampshire State Rep. Peter T. Hasan.

See NH just debated a bill repealing part of its "Stand your Ground" law.

Now I know what your thinking, isnt "Stand your ground" a gun control issue and has nothing at all to do with anything that should ever be near a vagina? You'd think so, but your not a well educated mind.

See Rep Hasan opposed the proposed bill stating in an email

"What could possibly be missing from those factual tales of successful retreat in VT, Germany, and the bowels of Amsterdam? Why children and vagina's of course. While the tales relate the actions of a solitary male the outcome cannot relate to similar situations where children and women and mothers are the potential victims."

In case you missed it, let me highlight the "problem"

"Why children and vagina's of course."

Not you know "Children and Women" (or the more classic Women and Children), or even Females, Ladies, ect ect. Thats because Rep Hasan knows the truth, "Women""ladies" ect are just synonymous that refer to the "vagina support system". You know like the legs that are responsible for bringing the vagina to our beds and then opening to allow access. The mouth, which is used to keep the vagina alive (and as a surrogate vagina during the one week a month the vagina is closed to visitors), ect ect.

No seriously, I'm playing it up a bit, but thats basically Rep Hasan's excuse for using the word Vagina.

See when a colleague, State Rep. Rick Watrous, called him on it saying:

"Children and vagina's"??!! Are you really using "vaginas" as a crude catch-all for women? Really?

Please think before you send out such offensive language on the legislative listserve.[email]"
Rep Hasan responded by saying:

"Having a fairly well educated mind I do not need self appointed wardens to A: try to put words in my mouth for political gain and B: Turn a well founded strategy in communication into an insulting accusation, and finally if you find the noun vagina insulting or in some way offensive then perhaps a better exercise might be for you to re-examine your psyche,"
See like I said, every fairly well educated mind knows the only part of a women that matters is her vagina.

And like he said it is a well founded communication strategy. And I can vouch for that. Seriously you would not believe how easily I get laid after I drop my two favorite pick of lines "Whats a nice vagina like you doing in a place like this?" and "you're one of the most attractive vagina's I've ever met."

Seriously, any guy can back me up on that, calling her a pretty vagina ALWAYS leads to sexy time.

Actually to be fair after getting backlash from the state Republican Chairman, Jennifer Horn (who happens to be a vagina) who said:
"Representative Hansen's comments are crude, offensive and have no place in public discourse, Horn said in a statement Tuesday. "There is no excuse for anybody to use such disrespectful language -- especially an elected official. I strongly condemn his disrespectful and shameful remarks."

Rep. Hasan backed off his original comments, stating that:

"Can there be any doubt my comment is being misinterpreted and taken completely out of context? It was not, and is not, my intention to demean women at any time. It is apparent that the intent of my remarks has been misinterpreted, the true goal of the message lost and for that I apologize to those who took offense."

See he didnt MEAN to call his states Governor, BOTH senators, and BOTH members of the US House, and every other woman in his state "vagina's". In fact he only meant to imply that women are much more helpless then men, and more akin to children WITHOUT being insulting.

And if you'd only consider the context, you'd see that's all he means.

The context of course being that Rep. Peter T. Hasan is actually, ironically, just a huge dick.....