Conspiracy Watch: Following Obamacare ruling GOP says GOP is inherently evil.

So a few months back I posted a blog pointing out the GOP was desperately trying to SAVE Obamacare from the GOP, because the GOP was about to destroy itself.

If you dont want to click the link, heres the short version: The GOP filed a lawsuit, that if successful would strip healthcare.....but only from Republicans. And would force those same Republicans to continue to pay for healthcare that would only go to Democrats.

So yea, you can see why this might be a major problem for Republicans to explain.

Well it turns out that thanks to the US Supreme Court, that problem has been avoided for Republicans, they dont actually have to explain anything, since the Court ruled against them.

Now you'd think this would actually be Good news for republicans. But that suggests you dont know republicans.

See it turns out that Republican's avoiding self destruction is a massive conspiracy by Democrats, for motivations yet unknown.

In otherwords, prepare to find out how deep the rabbit hole goes.  At least according to author, tea partier, potential Republican Senate Nominee from Nevada, and former Libertarian Vice Presidential candidate,  Wayne Root who wrote this:

"It’s time to start asking the question. It’s time to be cynical. It’s time to assume the worst of this government.

Has Supreme Court Justice John Roberts been blackmailed or intimidated?


I would put nothing by the Obama administration that lives and rules by the Chicago thug playbook.

Doubt me? On the same day that Justice Roberts and the Supremes upheld Obamacare – again – the key IRS watchdog reported to Congress that the IRS purposely destroyed evidence of a crime."

So I actually left the links intact here for a reason.....I really really want you to click the second one. Mostly so that you'll believe me when I tell you what it says: its the FOX news 404 error page.

Which means 1) even FOX news has no idea what the fuck he's taking about

2) Mr. Root assumes his readers wont catch him, because he assumes his readership is too fucking stupid to click the link.

3) note both of these (the obamacare ruling and the 404 error link) allegedly occured on the same day...so Root cant even claim the story was taken down after the fact....its only been about 7 1/2 hours (as of my writing this)....we havnt had time for "after the fact"

Anyways, after making shit up completely, and trusting in your mental stupidity and brainwashing, Root continues:

"Is the idea implausible that this same Obama administration that orders IRS attacks, then orders destruction of key evidence, would stop at nothing to save Obama’s signature achievement? Is it impossible to believe that Obama and his socialist cabal that learned from Saul Alinsky that “the ends justify the means” would hold something over a Supreme Court justice’s head?

It’s time to ask the question loudly and boldly because something is clearly wrong in Washington, D.C.

Is that the purpose of government agencies like the IRS and the NSA that are abusing our rights – to listen to us, to watch us, to find something we’ve done wrong, and then use it to intimidate, harass, threaten or extort key political figures so that Obama can “fundamentally change America”?

Well lets see, given that, it appears based on your links, your premise never happened...uh yea I am going to have to say your idea is implausible.

Also who the fuck is Saul Alinsky?

My college degree is in American History, I used to work for congress, and I write a political blog, and outside of deranged right wing rants mentioning his name i've never actually heard of this dude. Just saying, if anyone would have heard of him if he was actually even slightly important to anything, its me.

"Because something clearly smells rotten in Washington, D.C. Like “the mafia delivering a dead fish to your door” rotten. Conservatives just won national elections in a massive wave, a historic landslide. We control both houses of Congress; we control the Supreme Court, yet we continue to lose every key vote in Congress and every key Supreme Court ruling.

Suddenly when Republicans win elections, elections have no consequences. Doesn’t this seem odd? Doesn’t something smell rotten, like the fix is in?"

Well lets see, given that we are dealing with the Supreme Court.....the branch of government that by design is totally unelected and supposed to be as far removed from the results of any election as possible......no it doesnt seem in the slight bit odd.

Then again, I'm not sure Root's SCOTUS exists in the same reality as ours....his elections sure dont.

See according to him, Republicans coming up 2.6 million votes below what the dem's got is a historic landslide (yes the GOP got 9 seats, they just got fewer votes nationally). And winning ONLY 13 seats is a MASSIVE wave (as opposed to say winning 63 seats in 2010).

So either Root isnt seeing the same elections as the rest of us (possibly due to his sphincter cutting off the bloodflow to his brain and causing hallucinations) or he's just really really really bad with numbers (or both)

Anyways....moving on

Justice Roberts voting for Obamacare twice is as likely as me voting to save Obamacare.

Like me, Justice Roberts is a lifelong dedicated conservative warrior. He was appointed by President George W. Bush to become the key conservative vote in important decisions that effect “the fundamental transformation of America.” Justice Roberts was born, raised and groomed for one job in this life – to join that Supreme Court, strike down Obamacare, protect the Constitution and end big government overreach.

Yet he is the man responsible for saving Obamacare – twice.
So apparently Justice Roberts is a time-traveler....having been groomed since his birth in 1955 to strike down something that wouldnt exist for 55 years.  He even managed to get himself preemptively appointed to the Supreme Court 7 years early.....you know just in case.

"Justice Roberts legacy as a “conservative warrior” will be that he protected big government, supported government overreach and helped to hasten the fundamental transformation of America.

This doesn’t seem odd to you? This doesn’t smell rotten?"

Um nope. See for those of us with working brains and an ability to read (so, not readers of Wayne Root) we might be able to find out that Roberts first major case was US vs Microsoft....in which he represented to US take down Microsoft for being too close to a monopoly.  Or that he was part of the unanimous decision at the appeals court level in Hamdan v. Rumsfeld to allow the federal government to undertake extralegal military tribunals of non combatants. (a decision overturned by the Supreme Court).

What it does sound like though, is that you Mr. Root have no idea what your taking about. You just assume that because a man is a republican or appointed by one he must have his head inserted as far into his own rectum as you do.

 By the way, a key point to get to before we move on. You would be forgiven if you think the recent SCOTUS Ruling was 5-4, with the blame for the "liberals winning" resting solely with Roberts.

Except its not. The ruling was actually 6-3, meaning Roberts vote didnt particularly matter.

So yea this entire theory boils down to how a the Obama administration must have done something evil to win a vote it didnt actually need, presumably because they were bored.

Oh and by the way, its not JUST the supreme court the Obama's have sunk their teeth into.

"I have felt the same way about Speaker of the House John Boehner and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell for years now. Something is wrong. All it takes to destroy America and pass Obama’s agenda is to control a few key powerful positions in Washington, D.C.

Just blackmail one or two key conservative leaders to stop the GOP from blocking Obama’s agenda. Just find out the weak link of a key opposition leader or government official and hold it over their heads. It’s that simple. Suddenly sworn lifelong conservatives are giving Obama whatever he wants – Obamacare, Trans Pacific Partnership, massive tax increases, amnesty for illegals. The list is long."

See that evil Obama got to Boehner and McConnell as well....they were totally in on it. In fact all republicans were. Dont believe me? lets continue:

"Am I being too cynical? Really? Did anyone suspect former House Speaker Dennis Hastert was a child molester who commited crimes with underage boys?

Because he sure had everyone fooled. He looked like a choir boy. But he clearly did something terrible that forced him to agree to pay millions of dollars in blackmail.

And it’s odd that the government knew about it. How did they know to question Hastert about taking his own money out of his own bank account? Maybe they knew for the same reason they knew former CIA chief and retired Gen. David Petraeus was having an affair. Maybe they know everything."
He's right, Hastert was a child molester and no one saw it.  BUT Hastert wasnt in government at any point during the Obama Administration. He actually resigned in 2007. And from 1999 until 2007 had been Speaker of the House.

Now for the rest of us, this is (mostly) known as the George W. Bush Administration.

So clearly Bush was in on the conspiracy to force us all to have Obamacare too. Cause he'd have been the one blackmailing Hastert.

BUT the conspiracy goes FAR deeper than that, see the beginning of Hasterts speakership was in 1999 under Bill Clinton. And Hastert was the replacement for David Livingston....who without warning refused to accept the speakership after it came to light he was having an affair....and Livingston was the replace Newt Gingich, who had been forced out after it came to light HE was having an affair after having tried (and failed) to convict President Clinton for the same thing.

So presumably, Clinton was in on this too as he blackmailed a speaker and a presumptive speaker to ensure the new speaker would be a pedophile that Bush could blackmail so that he could be set up for Obama to blackmail him

And actually, as it turns out, even this isnt the end. You see, as I said the vote was 6-3, and the Supreme Court is made up of 4 Justices appointed by Democrats and 5 by Republicans. So who's the other Justice who jumped ship? that would be Anthony Kennedy.....who was appointed by Ronald Reagan....who clearly had to be in on this too.

anyways, now that we have uncovered all of the players lets keep moving:

"What makes anyone think the government and it’s three-letter agencies (IRS, NSA, DOJ, FBI, SEC) don’t know everything bad about everyone in key positions in Washington, D.C.? What makes you think that blackmail isn’t happening every day to conservative politicians – except it’s the government doing the blackmailing?

You know, this is the same government that asked the IRS to target key critics of this president (like me) and then ordered the IRS to destroy the evidence. The same government that told you “if you like your health insurance, you can keep it.” The same government that says there is no problem with $18 trillion in debt that threatens your children’s entire future. The same government that indicted both rating agencies immediately after they dared to downgrade the credit rating of the United States for the first time in history"

What? you thought I was kidding about all these Republican Presidents like Bush being in on this.

But the entire point here is that this has been going on for a long time and that the government has been doing this for a long time....long enough that we have had multiple administrations of both parties.......but only conservatives have been targeted.


"Just a guess, but here’s how I think it goes:

I think the Obama Crime Family meets with a key politician like Boehner or Justice Roberts and they offer both a carrot and stick. They threaten to expose something terrible like an affair, or corruption, or malfeasance, or immorality that would shock the nation, ruin their career, destroy their legacy, cost their marriage, destroy their relationship with their children and leave them unemployable by any respectable law firm or lobbyist. That’s what’s behind door number one.

Or if you see the light and vote Obama’s way, they get to continue playing national leader and hero, their legacy is untouched, their family loves them, and they retire someday to a $5 million per year lobbying job (like Dennis Hastert). That’s what’s behind door number two.

Which would you choose?

Trust me – those options are being offered every day by the Obama Crime Family to key political figures in Washington, D.C. Republicans are being blackmailed, intimidated, extorted and bribed. That explains Justice Roberts and the Supremes ruling against the American People again. That explains why conservatives keep winning elections, yet we keep gaining nothing and losing everything. It’s all been fixed."

There it is, in basic English. Bush covered up Hastert's pedophilia in exchange for his cooperation, and Obama exposed it to send a message to the 3 top republicans in the country; the Speaker of the House, the Senate Majority Leader and The Chief Justice of the United States.....ALL of whom have done things at least as bad as pedophilia.

And by implication, all 3 of those men's deputies are also guilty of pedophile level crimes they are covering up in exchange for helping Obama.

And again, note, at least according to these examples this is something exclusively done to Conservative politicians (by both republicans and democrats)

Which means, as I understand it, Obamacare is LAW and will remain so because Republicans are vile, evil, disgusting human beings ripe for blackmail and exploitation.....at least according to other Republicans.   

So I think the bigger question here is, if you read Mr. Root's article, and believed it, why in hell would you EVER vote republican again.....even for a republican like Wayne Root (who by the logic of his own article is probably a pedophile by virtue of being a Republican)

You're Hired: The Donald 2016, the most epic announcement speech of all times. Part 2, the Post Screed.

Picking up DIRECTLY (as in this is actually the next line of his speech despite the lack of a transition in the speech) from where I left off in part 1. Its STORY TIME:

"So, here’s a couple of stories happened recently. A friend of mine is a great manufacturer. And, you know, China comes over and they dump all their stuff, and I buy it. I buy it, because, frankly, I have an obligation to buy it, because they devalue their currency so brilliantly, they just did it recently, and nobody thought they could do it again.

But with all our problems with Russia, with all our problems with everything— everything, they got away with it again. And it’s impossible for our people here to compete."

So the problem with the US according to Trump is China....or Russia....or China, who sell their shit here to people like Donald Trump, who buys it while fucking over his friends in the process.

Point is, Donald Trump is a shitty friend.

"So I want to tell you this story. A friend of mine who’s a great manufacturer, calls me up a few weeks ago. He’s very upset. I said, “What’s your problem?”"

Wait didnt we just DO this story? Or is this a do over because you got side tracked by random russia last time.....

"He said, “You know, I make great product.”

And I said, “I know. I know that because I buy the product.”

No you dont. You just told everyone you fucked him over for China. So apparently your a shitty friend AND a liar.

"He said, “I can’t get it into China. They won’t accept it. I sent a boat over and they actually sent it back. They talked about environmental, they talked about all sorts of crap that had nothing to do with it.”

I said, “Oh, wait a minute, that’s terrible. Does anyone know this?”

He said, “Yeah, they do it all the time with other people.”

I said, “They send it back?”

“Yeah. So I finally got it over there and they charged me a big tariff. They’re not supposed to be doing that. I told them.”

Now, they do charge you tariff on trucks, when we send trucks and other things over there."

So the moral of this story, Take 2 version, is that your friends are also dumbasses?

"Ask Boeing. They wanted Boeing’s secrets. They wanted their patents and all their secrets before they agreed to buy planes from Boeing."

And the problem with this IS? its basically like asking for $20 an hour on a job you expect to make $14, you aint gonna get $20 but you might make $16. Just saying that Negotiations 101....allegedly Trumps strong suit.

"Hey, I’m not saying they’re stupid. I like China. I sell apartments for— I just sold an apartment for $15 million to somebody from China. Am I supposed to dislike them? I own a big chunk of the Bank of America Building at 1290 Avenue of the Americas, that I got from China in a war. Very valuable."

Translation: I'm not anti chinese people or anything....I once sold something to one of them. I have a great relationship with "the china's" kinda like my great relationship with "the blacks"

"I love China. The biggest bank in the world is from China. You know where their United States headquarters is located? In this building, in Trump Tower. I love China. People say, “Oh, you don’t like China?”

Remember the self promotion ADD? IT'S BAAAACCCKKKK!

"No, I love them. But their leaders are much smarter than our leaders, and we can’t sustain ourself with that. There’s too much— it’s like— it’s like take the New England Patriots and Tom Brady and have them play your high school football team. That’s the difference between China’s leaders and our leaders."

So basically your saying the Chinese are smarter but their balls are deflated?  nothing racist to see here folks........

They are ripping us. We are rebuilding China. We’re rebuilding many countries. China, you go there now, roads, bridges, schools, you never saw anything like it. They have bridges that make the George Washington Bridge look like small potatoes. And they’re all over the place.

So lets just send them Governor Christie.....we all saw what he did to the George Washington Bridge.....

Also the GWB is the busiest bridge in the world bar none. So yea, who wants to explain to Trump that size doesnt matter?

"We have all the cards, but we don’t know how to use them. We don’t even know that we have the cards, because our leaders don’t understand the game. We could turn off that spigot by charging them tax until they behave properly.

Now they’re going militarily. They’re building a military island in the middle of the South China sea. A military island. Now, our country could never do that because we’d have to get environmental clearance, and the environmentalist wouldn’t let our country— we would never build in an ocean. They built it in about one year, this massive military port."

Trump makes a good point, our country could NEVER build a military island.

Midway Island. A fictional american military Island that surely wasnt a major battle of  WW2.

"They’re building up their military to a point that is very scary. You have a problem with ISIS. You have a bigger problem with China."

Wait what? you just spend the last few minutes talking about how youd like to orally pleasure China if possible because you love them so much.....and now they are worse than terrorists?

Dafuq?

"And, in my opinion, the new China, believe it or not, in terms of trade, is Mexico.

So this man tells me about the manufacturing. I say, “That’s a terrible story. I hate to hear it.”

Mr. Trump I have to ask do you have tourettes? Cause somehow we went from talking to your friend on the phone to Boeing, to loving China, who are worse that terrorists but also the future of Mexico....and that was all actually supposed to be connected as a story?

"But I have another one, Ford.

So Mexico takes a company, a car company that was going to build in Tennessee, rips it out. Everybody thought the deal was dead. Reported it in the Wall Street Journal recently. Everybody thought it was a done deal. It’s going in and that’s going to be it, going into Tennessee. Great state, great people.

All of a sudden, at the last moment, this big car manufacturer, foreign, announces they’re not going to Tennessee. They’re gonna spend their $1 billion in Mexico instead. Not good.

Now, Ford announces a few weeks ago that Ford is going to build a $2.5 billion car and truck and parts manufacturing plant in Mexico. $2.5 billion, it’s going to be one of the largest in the world. Ford. Good company.

So I announced that I’m running for president. I would…

… one of the early things I would do, probably before I even got in— and I wouldn’t even use— you know, I have— I know the smartest negotiators in the world. I know the good ones. I know the bad ones. I know the overrated ones."
Ok seriously What the fuck is going on? Are you and that thing on your head locked in a battle over who actually gets to control your brain at the moment?

Cause like seriously dude, even Sarah Palin thinks that was unintelligible.

"You get a lot of them that are overrated. They’re not good. They think they are. They get good stories, because the newspapers get buffaloed. But they’re not good.

But I know the negotiators in the world, and I put them one for each country. Believe me, folks. We will do very, very well, very, very well."We will do very very well in WHAT? like I actually have no god damn clue what your even taking about except it may or may not involve Ford

"But I wouldn’t even waste my time with this one. I would call up the head of Ford, who I know. If I was president, I’d say, “Congratulations. I understand that you’re building a nice $2.5 billion car factory in Mexico and that you’re going to take your cars and sell them to the United States zero tax, just flow them across the border.”

And you say to yourself, “How does that help us,” right? “How does that help us? Where is that good”? It’s not.

So I would say, “Congratulations. That’s the good news. Let me give you the bad news. Every car and every truck and every part manufactured in this plant that comes across the border, we’re going to charge you a 35-percent tax, and that tax is going to be paid simultaneously with the transaction, and that’s it."

So the good news is your letter Ford bring cars in tax free, but the bad news is your not letting Ford bring in cars tax free? I'm pretty sure both of those statements cant be true.

Also do I even want to know what transaction your talking about here? cause are we talking sale of the car? cause if so your basically telling Ford to mark up all their prices 35% so the car buyer (AKA all of *us*) actually pays that when we buy the car.  So I'm not sure how thats sticking it to Ford.

"Now, here’s what is going to happen. If it’s not me in the position, it’s one of these politicians that we’re running against, you know, the 400 people that we’re (inaudible). And here’s what’s going to happen. They’re not so stupid. They know it’s not a good thing, and they may even be upset by it. But then they’re going to get a call from the donors or probably from the lobbyist for Ford and say, “You can’t do that to Ford, because Ford takes care of me and I take care of you, and you can’t do that to Ford.”

And guess what? No problem. They’re going to build in Mexico. They’re going to take away thousands of jobs. It’s very bad for us.

So under President Trump, here’s what would happen:

The head of Ford will call me back, I would say within an hour after I told them the bad news. But it could be he’d want to be cool, and he’ll wait until the next day. You know, they want to be a little cool.

And he’ll say, “Please, please, please.” He’ll beg for a little while, and I’ll say, “No interest.” Then he’ll call all sorts of political people, and I’ll say, “Sorry, fellas. No interest,” because I don’t need anybody’s money. It’s nice. I don’t need anybody’s money.

I’m using my own money. I’m not using the lobbyists. I’m not using donors. I don’t care. I’m really rich. I (inaudible).

And by the way, I’m not even saying that’s the kind of mindset, that’s the kind of thinking you need for this country."

So *if* I understand you, and thats a BIG stretch, your saying this would only work because your rich.....but your also saying that isnt the thing you need for this country.

So your undermining your own point? Ok..............

"So— because we got to make the country rich.

It sounds crass. Somebody said, “Oh, that’s crass.” It’s not crass.

We got $18 trillion in debt. We got nothing but problems.

We got a military that needs equipment all over the place. We got nuclear weapons that are obsolete.

We’ve got nothing. We’ve got Social Security that’s going to be destroyed if somebody like me doesn’t bring money into the country. All these other people want to cut the hell out of it. I’m not going to cut it at all; I’m going to bring money in, and we’re going to save it.

But here’s what’s going to happen:

After I’m called by 30 friends of mine who contributed to different campaigns, after I’m called by all of the special interests and by the— the donors and by the lobbyists— and they have zero chance at convincing me, zero— I’ll get a call the next day from the head of Ford. He’ll say. “Please reconsider,” I’ll say no.

He’ll say, “Mr. President, we’ve decided to move the plant back to the United States, and we’re not going to build it in Mexico.” That’s it. They have no choice. They have no choice."

Wait, are you SURE you dont want to pick this up when you and that thing on your head arnt fighting for control.

Cause somehow we jumped from Ford to 18 Trillion in debt to Nukes, to Social Security, to all your friends who are apparently (and thankfully) smart enough NOT to support you for president, back to Ford.

Because Ford is responsible for everything?  or something.....

"There are hundreds of things like that. I’ll give you another example.

Saudi Arabia, they make $1 billion a day. $1 billion a day. I love the Saudis. Many are in this building. They make a billion dollars a day. Whenever they have problems, we send over the ships. We say “we’re gonna protect.” What are we doing? They’ve got nothing but money.

If the right person asked them, they’d pay a fortune. They wouldn’t be there except for us.

And believe me, you look at the border with Yemen. You remember Obama a year ago, Yemen was a great victory. Two weeks later, the place was blown up. Everybody got out— and they kept our equipment.

They always keep our equipment. We ought to send used equipment, right? They always keep our equipment. We ought to send some real junk, because, frankly, it would be— we ought to send our surplus. We’re always losing this gorgeous brand-new stuff.

But look at that border with Saudi Arabia. Do you really think that these people are interested in Yemen? Saudi Arabia without us is gone. They’re gone."

Actually I'm pretty sure the Saudi's have something other than Money....but for the life of me I cant remember what it is

"And I’m the one that made all of the right predictions about Iraq. You know, all of these politicians that I’m running against now— it’s so nice to say I’m running as opposed to if I run, if I run. I’m running.

But all of these politicians that I’m running against now, they’re trying to disassociate. I mean, you looked at Bush, it took him five days to answer the question on Iraq. He couldn’t answer the question. He didn’t know. I said, “Is he intelligent?”

Ironically we are now ALL thinking the same thing about you........

"Then I looked at Rubio. He was unable to answer the question, is Iraq a good thing or bad thing? He didn’t know. He couldn’t answer the question.

How are these people gonna lead us? How are we gonna— how are we gonna go back and make it great again? We can’t. They don’t have a clue. They can’t lead us. They can’t. They can’t even answer simple questions. It was terrible.

But Saudi Arabia is in big, big trouble. Now, thanks to fracking and other things, the oil is all over the place. And I used to say it, there are ships at sea, and this was during the worst crisis, that were loaded up with oil, and the cartel kept the price up, because, again, they were smarter than our leaders. They were smarter than our leaders.

There is so much wealth out there that can make our country so rich again, and therefore make it great again. Because we need money. We’re dying. We’re dying. We need money. We have to do it. And we need the right people.

So Ford will come back. They’ll all come back. And I will say this, this is going to be an election, in my opinion, that’s based on competence."

Wait FORD? where the FUCK did Ford come from, dude you stopped talking about them like 10 minutes ago, unless somehow Saudi Arabia is actually part of Ford and we all missed that memo.

"Somebody said — thank you, darlin’.

Somebody said to me the other day, a reporter, a very nice reporter, “But, Mr. Trump, you’re not a nice person.”

That’s true. But actually I am. I think I am a nice person. People that know me, like me. Does my family like me? I think so, right. Look at my family. I’m proud of my family."

So its true, your not a nice person......except its not true because you are.....MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND!

"By the way, speaking of my family, Melania, Barron, Kai, Donnie, Don, Vanessa, Tiffany, Ivanka did a great job. Did she do a great job?

Great. Jared, Laura and Eric, I’m very proud of my family. They’re a great family."

Now if you dont know anything about Trumps family, this might look like giving credit to his wife for how great his kids are, which is cool and all, except for one small problem.

Ivanka is his daughter, not his wife.

So I'm not entirely sure what she did that was such a great job.....maybe its possible he's referencing her giving him 2 of his 7 grandchildren.....except that he kinda forgot to mention THOSE grandkids in the speech (mentioned some of the others though)

That's kinda awkward.......

'So the reporter said to me the other day, “But, Mr. Trump, you’re not a nice person. How can you get people to vote for you?”

I said, “I don’t know.” I said, “I think that number one, I am a nice person. I give a lot of money away to charities and other things. I think I’m actually a very nice person.”

But, I said, “This is going to be an election that’s based on competence, because people are tired of these nice people. And they’re tired of being ripped off by everybody in the world. And they’re tired of spending more money on education than any nation in the world per capita, than any nation in the world, and we are 26th in the world, 25 countries are better than us in education. And some of them are like third world countries. But we’re becoming a third word country, because of our infrastructure, our airports, our roads, everything. So one of the things I did, and I said, you know what I’ll do. I’ll do it. Because a lot of people said, “He’ll never run. Number one, he won’t want to give up his lifestyle.”

They’re right about that, but I’m doing it"

So people will vote for you because they are nice, but people are tired of voting for nice people?

*singing* Take me down to the contradiction city, where the grass is green [and blue] and the girls are pretty [and ugly] take me home [and somewhere else].

"Number two, I’m a private company, so nobody knows what I’m worth. And the one thing is that when you run, you have to announce and certify to all sorts of governmental authorities your net worth.

So I said, “That’s OK.” I’m proud of my net worth. I’ve done an amazing job.

I started off— thank you— I started off in a small office with my father in Brooklyn and Queens, and my father said — and I love my father. I learned so much. He was a great negotiator. I learned so much just sitting at his feet playing with blocks listening to him negotiate with subcontractors. But I learned a lot.

But he used to say, “Donald, don’t go into Manhattan. That’s the big leagues. We don’t know anything about that. Don’t do it.”

I said, “I gotta go into Manhattan. I gotta build those big buildings. I gotta do it, Dad. I’ve gotta do it.”

And after four or five years in Brooklyn, I ventured into Manhattan and did a lot of great deals— the Grand Hyatt Hotel. I was responsible for the convention center on the west side. I did a lot of great deals, and I did them early and young. And now I’m building all over the world, and I love what I’m doing.

But they all said, a lot of the pundits on television, “Well, Donald will never run, and one of the main reasons is he’s private and he’s probably not as successful as everybody thinks.”

So I said to myself, you know, nobody’s ever going to know unless I run, because I’m really proud of my success. I really am.

I’ve employed— I’ve employed tens of thousands of people over my lifetime. That means medical. That means education. That means everything."

So your running because it will require you to release the documents that prove you're a success?

You know I'm not a lawyer or anything but it seems to me, you could *just* release the documents because you WANT to. Pretty sure that's legal....and easier than running for president.

:"So a large accounting firm and my accountants have been working for months, because it’s big and complex, and they’ve put together a statement, a financial statement, just a summary. But everything will be filed eventually with the government, and we don’t [use] extensions or anything. We’ll be filing it right on time. We don’t need anything."

So you dont need anything to finish it, but its not finished yet because you need more time......these contradictions make my head hurt.

"And it was even reported incorrectly yesterday, because they said, “He had assets of $9 billion.” So I said, “No, that’s the wrong number. That’s the wrong number. Not assets.”

So they put together this. And before I say it, I have to say this. I made it the old-fashioned way. It’s real estate. You know, it’s real estate.

It’s labor, and it’s unions good and some bad and lots of people that aren’t in unions, and it’s all over the place and building all over the world.

And I have assets— big accounting firm, one of the most highly respected— 9 billion 240 million dollars.

And I have liabilities of about $500 million. That’s long-term debt, very low interest rates.

In fact, one of the big banks came to me and said, “Donald, you don’t have enough borrowings. Could we loan you $4 billion”? I said, “I don’t need it. I don’t want it. And I’ve been there. I don’t want it.”

But in two seconds, they give me whatever I wanted. So I have a total net worth, and now with the increase, it’ll be well-over $10 billion. But here, a total net worth of—net worth, not assets, not— a net worth, after all debt, after all expenses, the greatest assets— Trump Tower, 1290 Avenue of the Americas, Bank of America building in San Francisco, 40 Wall Street, sometimes referred to as the Trump building right opposite the New York— many other places all over the world.

So the total is $8,737,540,000."

Translation: they said 9 billion which was wrong I will explain to you in GREAT detail of how rounded up by a exactly 26,246,0000 million and not a penny less......but yea point is ROUNDING IS UNACCEPTABLE

"Now I’m not doing that…

I’m not doing that to brag, because you know what? I don’t have to brag. I don’t have to, believe it or not."

Actually I have no problem believing you dont HAVE to......you just clearly enjoy bragging.

"I’m doing that to say that that’s the kind of thinking our country needs. We need that thinking. We have the opposite thinking."

Actually I'm pretty sure that like 20 paragraphs ago you said we DIDNT need that thinking....
*scrolls up the page* "And by the way, I’m not even saying that’s the kind of mindset, that’s the kind of thinking you need for this country."

Yep...I was right.

"We have losers. We have losers. We have people that don’t have it. We have people that are morally corrupt. We have people that are selling this country down the drain.

So I put together this statement, and the only reason I’m telling you about it today is because we really do have to get going, because if we have another three or four years— you know, we’re at $8 trillion now. We’re soon going to be at $20 trillion."

You know I was going to try to say something snarky here but you switched topics mid sentence and.....so I says bangor? I hardly know her.

"According to the economists— who I’m not big believers in, but, nevertheless, this is what they’re saying— that $24 trillion— we’re very close— that’s the point of no return. $24 trillion. We will be there soon. That’s when we become Greece. That’s when we become a country that’s unsalvageable. And we’re gonna be there very soon. We’re gonna be there very soon."

Honestly, kinda noticed you werent a big believer in economists....or numbers really, back in part 1.

"So, just to sum up, I would do various things very quickly. I would repeal and replace the big lie, Obamacare.

I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me, and I’ll build them very inexpensively, I will build a great, great wall on our southern border. And I will have Mexico pay for that wall.

Mark my words."

Again with the size comparsion thingy. it has to be a *GREAT GREAT* wall.

Although given what you said about mexico in part 1 I'm not shocked you think they would pay for it since according to you their economy is booming and employment is soaring compared to us.....in Trumpland they want the wall to keep *us* out.....

"Nobody would be tougher on ISIS than Donald Trump. Nobody.
I will find — within our military, I will find the General Patton or I will find General MacArthur, I will find the right guy. I will find the guy that’s going to take that military and make it really work. Nobody, nobody will be pushing us around."

Ah yes, two generals both removed from command (albeit temporarily in one case) for being bad at their jobs.

Also, if your looking for a world war II figure who really made the military work.....you probably want their boss:

General George C. Marshall. Army Chief of Staff, America's highest ranked General of World War 2.

"I will stop Iran from getting nuclear weapons. And we won’t be using a man like Secretary Kerry that has absolutely no concept of negotiation, who’s making a horrible and laughable deal, who’s just being tapped along as they make weapons right now, and then goes into a bicycle race at 72 years old, and falls and breaks his leg. I won’t be doing that. And I promise I will never be in a bicycle race. That I can tell you."

Cause everyone knows the most important factor in diplomacy is bike riding skills.

But hey, at least The Donald knows enough to never do anything embarrassing......

   (and yes I was tempted to just show a picture of his comb-over)

"I will immediately terminate President Obama’s illegal executive order on immigration, immediately.

Fully support and back up the Second Amendment.

Now, it’s very interesting. Today I heard it. Through stupidity, in a very, very hard core prison, interestingly named Clinton, two vicious murderers, two vicious people escaped, and nobody knows where they are. And a woman was on television this morning, and she said, “You know, Mr. Trump,” and she was telling other people, and I actually called her, and she said, “You know, Mr. Trump, I always was against guns. I didn’t want guns. And now since this happened”— it’s up in the prison area— “my husband and I are finally in agreement, because he wanted the guns. We now have a gun on every table. We’re ready to start shooting.”

I said, “Very interesting.”

So protect the Second Amendment."

I really hope this woman only owns two tables.....cause thats about the number of guns most pairs can fire at once. Any more than that, and shes basically leaving guns out for the people who break into her house to shoot her/shoot back with.....

But that said, I do agree with Trump, this woman's crazy is "Very interesting"

"End— end Common Core. Common Core should— it is a disaster. Bush is totally in favor of Common Core. I don’t see how he can possibly get the nomination. He’s weak on immigration. He’s in favor of Common Core. How the hell can you vote for this guy? You just can’t do it. We have to end education has to be local.

Rebuild the country’s infrastructure.

Nobody can do that like me. Believe me. It will be done on time, on budget, way below cost, way below what anyone ever thought.

I look at the roads being built all over the country, and I say I can build those things for one-third. What they do is unbelievable, how bad.

You know, we’re building on Pennsylvania Avenue, the Old Post Office, we’re converting it into one of the world’s great hotels. It’s gonna be the best hotel in Washington, D.C. We got it from the General Services Administration in Washington. The Obama administration. We got it. It was the most highly sought after— or one of them, but I think the most highly sought after project in the history of General Services. We got it. People were shocked, Trump got it.

Well, I got it for two reasons. Number one, we’re really good. Number two, we had a really good plan. And I’ll add in the third, we had a great financial statement. Because the General Services, who are terrific people, by the way, and talented people, they wanted to do a great job. And they wanted to make sure it got built.

So we have to rebuild our infrastructure, our bridges, our roadways, our airports. You come into La Guardia Airport, it’s like we’re in a third world country. You look at the patches and the 40-year-old floor. They throw down asphalt, and they throw."

Remember the very first thing Trump said? that the A/C was broken in his own building? So while he might be able to do it fast and cheap.....well clearly as he himself has proven....you'll get what you pay for

"You look at these airports, we are like a third world country. And I come in from China and I come in from Qatar and I come in from different places, and they have the most incredible airports in the world. You come to back to this country and you have LAX, disaster. You have all of these disastrous airports. We have to rebuild our infrastructure.".

You know, its kinda weird how much time Trump is spending in the Middle East and in China given how much he keeps suggesting those who do buiness with those people are destroying this country.....

'Save Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security without cuts. Have to do it.

Get rid of the fraud. Get rid of the waste and abuse, but save it. People have been paying it for years. And now many of these candidates want to cut it. You save it by making the United States, by making us rich again, by taking back all of the money that’s being lost.

Renegotiate our foreign trade deals.

Reduce our $18 trillion in debt, because, believe me, we’re in a bubble. We have artificially low interest rates. We have a stock market that, frankly, has been good to me, but I still hate to see what’s happening. We have a stock market that is so bloated.

Be careful of a bubble because what you’ve seen in the past might be small potatoes compared to what happens. So be very, very careful.

And strengthen our military and take care of our vets. So, so important.

Sadly, the American dream is dead.

But if I get elected president I will bring it back bigger and better and stronger than ever before, and we will make America great again.

Thank you. Thank you very much."You know you can almost see the mental talking points checklist going through Donalds head here. "Shit did I mention saving medicare? Check, the Debt? Check, the Military....I dont remember so fuck it, lets say it again....Check.

But as my final thought I just want to say. No, Mr. Trump THANK YOU, thank you for all the material you will be giving me and everyone else in the world who thinks your a joke (but then I repeat myself) over the upcoming year.

My only regret is that NOTHING I or anyone else ever comes up with will trump (pun not intended) this:

(just you know, in case you forgot why trump changed his mind about running last time)

You're Hired: The Donald 2016, the most epic announcement speech of all times. Part 1, the Pre Ramble

So its now offical. The republican presidential field is a joke.....because Donald Trump is running for president.

To celebrate this momentous mockery of a major political party, and The Donald's epic speech making skills, I hereby present, the ENTIRE announcement speech as made by The Donald. With, as usual my running commentary and critique and of course my never ending quest to shine the light on STUPID.

To be honest, given how long this damn thing is I considered only doing a condensed version.....but I realized that there was so much stupid spread throughout this thing that by condensing it I would only improve it.

Therefore we have the original, long form, unaltered speech, although due to its length I'm publishing it across two different blog posts to make it slightly more bearable to read/allow you to take a break and not forget where the hell you were.

(this is per time.com for the transcript:)

"Wow. Whoa. That is some group of people. Thousands.

So nice, thank you very much. That’s really nice. Thank you. It’s great to be at Trump Tower. It’s great to be in a wonderful city, New York. And it’s an honor to have everybody here. This is beyond anybody’s expectations. There’s been no crowd like this.

And, I can tell, some of the candidates, they went in. They didn’t know the air-conditioner didn’t work. They sweated like dogs.

They didn’t know the room was too big, because they didn’t have anybody there. How are they going to beat ISIS? I don’t think it’s gonna happen." 

Dafuq? The only way I can make sense of this is that Trump is saying Trump Tower are such pieces of shit the A/C doesnt work, and the other candidates are stupid for actually expecting Trump Tower be anything other than a rat's nest.

But hey credit where it's due, bashing yourself/your brand IS a new way to start a speech.

"Our country is in serious trouble. We don’t have victories anymore. We used to have victories, but we don’t have them. When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let’s say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. All the time.

When did we beat Japan at anything? They send their cars over by the millions, and what do we do? When was the last time you saw a Chevrolet in Tokyo? It doesn’t exist, folks. They beat us all the time."

Alright, fair point here, I actually can't think of a time we beat Japan.

Oh wait....nevermind

"When do we beat Mexico at the border? They’re laughing at us, at our stupidity. And now they are beating us economically. They are not our friend, believe me. But they’re killing us economically."

You know when your whole justification for running is about money and how good you are with it its kinda awkward to not know how to read an exchange rate.

See at the moment The Donald said this the exchange rate for dollars to Peso is 1 to 15.25.

In otherwords what you can buy for 1 american dollar costs 15 peso's and change.

I guess the Donald doesnt know this is like golf, you actually want the LOWER number.....


"The U.S. has become a dumping ground for everybody else’s problems.
Thank you. It’s true, and these are the best and the finest. When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.

But I speak to border guards and they tell us what we’re getting. And it only makes common sense. It only makes common sense. They’re sending us not the right people."

Drugies, Criminals, Rapists and Good People...........you know undesirables.

"It’s coming from more than Mexico. It’s coming from all over South and Latin America, and it’s coming probably— probably— from the Middle East. But we don’t know. Because we have no protection and we have no competence, we don’t know what’s happening. And it’s got to stop and it’s got to stop fast."

Translation: South America, Middle East....its all the same place right? I mean the people are both brown.....

"Islamic terrorism is eating up large portions of the Middle East. They’ve become rich. I’m in competition with them.

They just built a hotel in Syria. Can you believe this? They built a hotel. When I have to build a hotel, I pay interest. They don’t have to pay interest, because they took the oil that, when we left Iraq, I said we should’ve taken."

wait ISIS has HOTELS? Dafuq? and is it just me or does it seem like even if that was true The Donald's biggest issue is that he needs to take out a loan (hence the interest) and ISIS doesnt?

So his problem is that there, you know, bigger in the pants pocket area? (by which I mean the Wallet, get your mind out of the gutters)

"So now ISIS has the oil, and what they don’t have, Iran has. And in 19— and I will tell you this, and I said it very strongly, years ago, I said— and I love the military, and I want to have the strongest military that we’ve ever had, and we need it more now than ever. But I said, “Don’t hit Iraq,” because you’re going to totally destabilize the Middle East. Iran is going to take over the Middle East, Iran and somebody else will get the oil, and it turned out that Iran is now taking over Iraq. Think of it. Iran is taking over Iraq, and they’re taking it over big league."

Now its a bit hard to see at first read cause he changes thoughts mid sentence, but the key take away here is that this is stuff Trump said 19 years ago. Which means he said it in 1996. You know at a time where FUCKING NO ONE was taking about a war in Iraq.  So I actually have to assume he was just REALLY late to the party in giving his opinion on the first gulf war.

"We spent $2 trillion in Iraq, $2 trillion. We lost thousands of lives, thousands in Iraq. We have wounded soldiers, who I love, I love — they’re great — all over the place, thousands and thousands of wounded soldiers.

And we have nothing. We can’t even go there. We have nothing. And every time we give Iraq equipment, the first time a bullet goes off in the air, they leave it. "Last week, I read 2,300 Humvees— these are big vehicles— were left behind for the enemy. 2,000? You would say maybe two, maybe four? 2,300 sophisticated vehicles, they ran, and the enemy took them."

Wait, you cant get to Iraq?....dont tell that to Priceline, as they currently have a flight listed from BWI (Baltimore-Washington International) to Baghdad for a bit over 1600 round trip. And actually the Donald could save some money and fly from home, NYC to Baghdad comes in a bit over 1400 round trip.

"Last quarter, it was just announced our gross domestic product— a sign of strength, right? But not for us. It was below zero. Whoever heard of this? It’s never below zero."

You know, I'm starting to get the impression numbers and finances REALLY arnt The Donalds strong suit, cause he's just a little off here. And by a little off I mean off by a mere Seventeen and a half TRILLION.

You know, chump change.......

"Our labor participation rate was the worst since 1978. But think of it, GDP below zero, horrible labor participation rate."

On the one hand, he actually got this one right.

On the other hand, the Labor Participation Rate is a measure of the number of people older than 16 who are working OR want to work (even if they arnt). So yea, a low labor participation rate, means we have a lot of people who dont want to work.....  So yea, you slacking high school juniors and seniors are dragging us down with your whole staying in school bullshit. Also ever heard of the Baby Boomers? you fuckers are dragging us down with that whole "retirement thing".

If only we had some kind of government run "death panel" that could be used to kill old people and bring up our Labor Participation Rate numbers.......

"And our real unemployment is anywhere from 18 to 20 percent. Don’t believe the 5.6. Don’t believe it.

That’s right. A lot of people up there can’t get jobs. They can’t get jobs, because there are no jobs, because China has our jobs and Mexico has our jobs. They all have jobs.

But the real number, the real number is anywhere from 18 to 19 and maybe even 21 percent, and nobody talks about it, because it’s a statistic that’s full of nonsense."
And you should totally believe The Donald over anyone else because he's been GREAT with numbers so far in this speech.........in fact he's so great he changed numbers pulled out of his ass between sentences and didnt even notice.

 Also, pretty sure if Mexicans all had jobs, we wouldnt have that whole "illegal immigration" problem.....

"Our enemies are getting stronger and stronger by the way, and we as a country are getting weaker. 

Even our nuclear arsenal doesn’t work. It came out recently they have equipment that is 30 years old. They don’t know if it worked. And I thought it was horrible when it was broadcast on television, because boy, does that send signals to Putin and all of the other people that look at us and they say,

“That is a group of people, and that is a nation that truly has no clue. They don’t know what they’re doing. They don’t know what they’re doing.”

So our nuclear arsenal is 30 years old....man that creates a real opening for Putin and his top of the line shiny brand new Soviet nuclear missiles..........oh wait.

"We have a disaster called the big lie: Obamacare. Obamacare.Yesterday, it came out that costs are going for people up 29, 39, 49, and even 55 percent, and deductibles are through the roof. You have to be hit by a tractor, literally, a tractor, to use it, because the deductibles are so high, it’s virtually useless. It’s virtually useless. It is a disaster."

Translation: This study that said it was this number, or maybe this number, or possibly this number, or maybe even this number...who knows I didnt read it I just figure the more numbers I pull out of my ass the closer I have to being right.

"And remember the $5 billion website? $5 billion we spent on a website, and to this day it doesn’t work. A $5 billion website.

I have so many websites, I have them all over the place. I hire people, they do a website. It costs me $3. $5 billion website."

You know, maybe its just me, but I have a hunch if your finding people who are making you a website for $3, you might be employing those illegal immigrants you keep bitching about......

"Well, you need somebody, because politicians are all talk, no action. Nothing’s gonna get done. They will not bring us— believe me— to the promised land. They will not.

As an example, I’ve been on the circuit making speeches, and I hear my fellow Republicans. And they’re wonderful people. I like them. They all want me to support them. They don’t know how to bring it about. They come up to my office. I’m meeting with three of them in the next week. And they don’t know— “Are you running? Are you not running? Could we have your support? What do we do? How do we do it?”

You know, call me crazy but I have a hunch your probably NOT having meeting with 3 republicans seeking your endorsements next week, not with you just announcing your competing against them and all.

Unless your considering not endorsing yourself, which would actually be the sanest idea you've had thus far in this speech......

"I like them. And I hear their speeches. And they don’t talk jobs and they don’t talk China. When was the last time you heard China is killing us? They’re devaluing their currency to a level that you wouldn’t believe. It makes it impossible for our companies to compete, impossible. They’re killing us.

But you don’t hear that from anybody else. You don’t hear it from anybody else. And I watch the speeches."

Actually I did hear it from this one guy, name of Jon Huntsman, ran for president as a republican last time around.....course he got his ass handed to him....but still since you asked and all.

"I watch the speeches of these people, and they say the sun will rise, the moon will set, all sorts of wonderful things will happen. And people are saying, “What’s going on? I just want a job. Just get me a job. I don’t need the rhetoric. I want a job.”

Wait, republicans are THAT devoid of ideas that the best they got is "day and night will keep occurring?"  I mean i actually get the point trump was making...but damn does that analogy suck ass.

"And that’s what’s happening. And it’s going to get worse, because remember, Obamacare really kicks in in ’16, 2016. Obama is going to be out playing golf. He might be on one of my courses. I would invite him, I actually would say. I have the best courses in the world, so I’d say, you what, if he wants to— I have one right next to the White House, right on the Potomac. If he’d like to play, that’s fine. In fact, I’d love him to leave early and play, that would be a very good thing."

Donald Trump seems to have this really odd form of ADD, where instead of being distracted by shiny things he can be taken totally off tangent by a chance to talk about himself....

"But Obamacare kicks in in 2016. Really big league. It is going to be amazingly destructive. Doctors are quitting. I have a friend who’s a doctor, and he said to me the other day, “Donald, I never saw anything like it. I have more accountants than I have nurses. It’s a disaster. My patients are beside themselves. They had a plan that was good. They have no plan now.”

We have to repeal Obamacare, and it can be— and— and it can be replaced with something much better for everybody. Let it be for everybody. But much better and much less expensive for people and for the government. And we can do it."

Alright, whats your plan, youve had 6 years....lets hear it...at least an outline......odd by the way that not a single republican in 6 years has been able to come up with one......

"So I’ve watched the politicians. I’ve dealt with them all my life. If you can’t make a good deal with a politician, then there’s something wrong with you. You’re certainly not very good. And that’s what we have representing us. They will never make America great again. They don’t even have a chance. They’re controlled fully— they’re controlled fully by the lobbyists, by the donors, and by the special interests, fully.

Yes, they control them. Hey, I have lobbyists. I have to tell you. I have lobbyists that can produce anything for me. They’re great. But you know what? it won’t happen. It won’t happen. Because we have to stop doing things for some people, but for this country, it’s destroying our country. We have to stop, and it has to stop now."

So hold on, if I follow this logic here: politicians are bad because they are controlled by lobbyists who dont have the best interests of the country at heart.

I control those evil lobbyists....so vote for me because I have the best interests of the country at heart more than the politicians I pay....

Yea......not the best pitch I've ever heard......

"Now, our country needs— our country needs a truly great leader, and we need a truly great leader now. We need a leader that wrote “The Art of the Deal.”

SELF PROMOTION ADD ENGAGED

"We need a leader that can bring back our jobs, can bring back our manufacturing, can bring back our military, can take care of our vets. Our vets have been abandoned.

And we also need a cheerleader."

Hmm, a cheerleader president.....wonder how that would work out?

"You know, when President Obama was elected, I said, “Well, the one thing, I think he’ll do well. I think he’ll be a great cheerleader for the country. I think he’d be a great spirit.”

He was vibrant. He was young. I really thought that he would be a great cheerleader.

He’s not a leader. That’s true. You’re right about that.

But he wasn’t a cheerleader. He’s actually a negative force. He’s been a negative force. He wasn’t a cheerleader; he was the opposite.

We need somebody that can take the brand of the United States and make it great again. It’s not great again.

We need— we need somebody— we need somebody that literally will take this country and make it great again. We can do that."

I actually have to give Trump credit on this one, he's already learned politics 101, the easiest thing you can claim to want to do is something that was already done.....but then again those stories pointing out US approval rating around the world are way up since the Cheerleader President was in office involve numbers....so its actually possible trump just doesnt understand them.

"And, I will tell you, I love my life. I have a wonderful family. They’re saying, “Dad, you’re going to do something that’s going to be so tough.”

You know, all of my life, I’ve heard that a truly successful person, a really, really successful person and even modestly successful cannot run for public office. Just can’t happen. And yet that’s the kind of mindset that you need to make this country great again." 

I dont know who told The Donald that, but it was probably a moron. Either that or by Trumps standards being a millionaire (as more than HALF of congress is,) doesnt count as "moderately successful".......

"So ladies and gentlemen…I am officially running… for president of the United States, and we are going to make our country great again."

And cue the reaction of Democrats around the country in 3....2.....1

oddly contrasted with the republican reaction (as they realize he just made their election into a clown show):

"It can happen. Our country has tremendous potential. We have tremendous people.

We have people that aren’t working. We have people that have no incentive to work. But they’re going to have incentive to work, because the greatest social program is a job. And they’ll be proud, and they’ll love it, and they’ll make much more than they would’ve ever made, and they’ll be— they’ll be doing so well, and we’re going to be thriving as a country, thriving. It can happen.

I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created. I tell you that."

Oh good, next I assume your going to tell me HOW your going to do that?

"I’ll bring back our jobs from China, from Mexico, from Japan, from so many places. I’ll bring back our jobs, and I’ll bring back our money.

Right now, think of this: We owe China $1.3 trillion. We owe Japan more than that. So they come in, they take our jobs, they take our money, and then they loan us back the money, and we pay them in interest, and then the dollar goes up so their deal’s even better.

How stupid are our leaders? How stupid are these politicians to allow this to happen? How stupid are they?

I’m going to tell you— thank you. I’m going to tell you a couple of stories about trade, because I’m totally against the trade bill for a number of reasons."

I guess your not actually going to tell me how your going to do that. But on the upside YAY Story time.

"Number one, the people negotiating don’t have a clue. Our president doesn’t have a clue. He’s a bad negotiator.

He’s the one that did Bergdahl. We get Bergdahl, they get five killer terrorists that everybody wanted over there.

We get Bergdahl. We get a traitor. We get a no-good traitor, and they get the five people that they wanted for years, and those people are now back on the battlefield trying to kill us. That’s the negotiator we have."

Wait Bergdahl? Iran? what the fuck happened to the stories about TRADE you just promised me?

Unless...oh my god is this possible, could it be that Donald Trump doesnt actually understand the definition of the term Trade when they use it in something called the "Trade Bill". That he actually doesnt realize that the term is implied to mean ECONOMIC exchange? Can he actually be that stupid?

"Take a look at the deal he’s making with Iran. He makes that deal, Israel maybe won’t exist very long. It’s a disaster, and we have to protect Israel. But…"

It appears he be can and is actually that stupid. And I didnt truncate that sentence, he actually just stopped talking and switched [or not?] subjects

So we need people— I’m a free trader. But the problem with free trade is you need really talented people to negotiate for you. If you don’t have talented people, if you don’t have great leadership, if you don’t have people that know business, not just a political hack that got the job because he made a contribution to a campaign, which is the way all jobs, just about, are gotten, free trade terrible.

Actually as it happens most bureaucrats are career professionals, have been since Chester Arthur was president around 120 years ago....

Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people, but we have people that are stupid. We have people that aren’t smart. And we have people that are controlled by special interests. And it’s just not going to work.

So stupid people who arnt smart and are controlled by special interests? based on this speech alone, I'm pretty sure those people look like this:

Hell he admitted he was behind the lobbyists/special interests up at the top.

So for the sake of making things easier to read, that wraps part 1. Join us in part 2 for Story time with Trump and a descent into contradictory confusion. 

Top 10 historical facts all Americans are taught.....that are total bullshit. part 2

5) US had never lost a war/negotiated with terrorists.

Right so, I know lots of people like to point to Vietnam as a war we lost to disprove this, but technically speaking, as the defenders of this belief point out, Vietnam was a withdrawal, not a defeat, as we got out before the end of the war, and never actually "lost".

Similar logic applies to  Korea, in which we failed to unify Korea, but also succeeded in not losing all of Korea.  Ditto the war of 1812, in which we got some minor concessions at the end of it.

So to most people, the US military record looks like this
Revolution: Won
1812: Technical victory
Mexican-American War: Won
Civil War: Won
Spanish American War: Won
World War I: Won
World War II: Won
Korean War: Technical victory
Vietnam War: Withdrew, didnt lose.
Gulf War: Won
Second Gulf War: Won* (*as soon as we can agree on what we were trying to win)

So yea the US has never lost right?

WRONG. Because we have been involved in a LOT more wars than that. Addmittedly a lot of those were against the Native Americans and we won.....we just dont talk about them because we arnt exactly proud of how weve been treating Native Americans anymore.  But there are a few other too. Including the most famous war you never heard of directly.

The "halls of Tripoli" are actually a reference to the First Barbary War (specifically the first time the US flag was raised over a conquered old world city), conducted by President Thomas Jefferson against the Barbary Pirates. Now while it did lead to the permanent founding of the Navy and Marines (hence its inclusion in the song) we kinda lost that one......its why you dont really hear of it.

See the war ended when President Jefferson agreed to pay a ransom to the pirate leader for the return of all american POW's and not putting the leaders older brother (who we backed) in charge.

Not really great terms for us, odder still since our military was primed to win the war, but its hard to look at those terms as something a victor would put forward (you get money and power and we get squat). Also since pirates would have fit the modern definition of terrorist, this is technically negotiating with a terrorist.

By the way, for those who are curious, Jefferson's sucessor, James Madison, would upon the end of the War of 1812, launch the Second Barbary war, and would clearly win this one getting them to pay us money this time, and a guarantee of no further piracy against us. So yea.... at least we won in the end right? 

6) Vice presidency is the "on deck" for becoming the next president.

Actually no. Not unless the president dies. (I've mentioned this in earlier posts in more detail for those interested) Since we changed the rules about who gets to be Vice President with the 12th amendment (used to be the runner up, now its a prepicked running mate), its only happened three times Martian Van Buren, Richard Nixon and George H.W. Bush, and Nixon doesnt really count since he didnt immediately become president, there were two other presidents between his time as VP and president Usually when you hear about the VP being "on deck" they mean to be the NEXT president.

So yea, thats twice in the 212 years since the 12th amendment.....or about once every 106 years/as often as the Chicago cubs win the World Series, so yea not really that likely.

(and yes, I know Al Gore won the popular vote in 2000....but he didnt become president so it doesnt count)

7) US has never given territory to a foreign power

Ever heard the expression "54-40 or fight"? it was an unoffical campaign solgan for Democrats in the 1844 elections. At the time the north western border of the United States was in dispute. The US and the UK both claimed the area between the 42nd and the 54th parallel (specifically 54 parallel plus 40 minutes, or 54-40). Now for those of you not well versed in parallel's the 42nd is basically the northern border of California, and as it turns out 54-40 is the southern most part of Alaska.

HOWEVER, for the geographically challenged, Alaska isnt connected to the rest of the US, and Oregon and Washington are north of California, but stop well short of Alaska.

So what happened? simple, we actually chose to concede some territory rather than actually fight a war for it. We settled on the 49th parallel, where the border remains to this day, thus making that the first time in history the US has given up control of US controlled territory to another power.

And then of course, there is the much more recent example of Panama and the Canal Zone...although unlike 54-40 that was done decades in advance and there was no possibility of war.

8) Bill of rights applies universally

This one comes up ALL THE TIME, usually when someone famous says something stupid publicly, and gets fired.  They always claim their right to free speech is being restricted.

Here's the dirty little secret. No it's not...because you do not HAVE a universal right to free speech, that not what the first amendment says.

All the first amendment.....or well any amendment, is that the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT wont do anything to restrict your rights. The 14th amendment applies most of those rights to the state governments.

But there is absolutely NOTHING that applies those rights to ANYTHING else including private businesses.Which means you better read that employment contract and see if your "off the clock" time can be held against you by the company (often it is in many situations, like saying bad things about them, or drinking in uniform ect).

But yea, just remember next time some famous person says something stupid and gets fired and bitches about it violating their freedom, they are wrong....and I promise you their lawyers have told them the same thing. All they are doing is preying on your ignorance to try to make themselves seem like victims when they arnt.

9) Declaration of Independence has legal weight.

And we near the end where we started, with the Declaration of Independence.

So this is one you kinda hear implied in passing all the time. Politicans always claim to want to go back to the Declaration and the Constitution, you'll hear in a single speech that you have the right to life, right to free speech and right to bear arms ect.

It's also pretty popular point among those who try to insert God in the american legal system, because the declaration mentions the "creator" and everything.

Although as you might have guessed, from its placement on this list.....its also a load of shit.

Most people might know the preamble to Declaration, but clearly no one's read the rest, as it says NOTHING about any legal system, laws, government ect. Its just a list of reasons as to why Independence is justified.

And thats the point.....thats all it was supposed to be. Remember the Articles of Confederation back in part 1? Yea THAT was the governmental document.

The Declaration, was in modern terms supposed to be less akin to a governing document and more akin to:

in that its entire point was only to tell Britain to go fuck off.

Furthermore, even if the Declaration HAD been intended to be a governing document, there is this thing in the Constitution called the Supremacy clause, that basically made the Constitution supersede any other governing document....which was needed to end legal weight of the Articles of Confederation, and would have done the same to the Declaration had it had any legal weight in the first place.

So yea, the Declaration may be the most famous "fuck off" in american history....but thats ALL it is. 

10)Jamestown was first.

Ask most American's what the first English settlement (and the one we usually claim as the "first american settlement" as far as starting our history) and they will say Jamestown Virginia. (slightly dumber people might say Plymouth Rock MA)

They would also be WRONG.

The first English settlement was actually Roanoke (not the same as present day Roanoke NC), which was founded 20 years before Jamestown in 1587.

Problem is.....we uh....well....um....see....we kinda LOST the damn thing. And like REALLY lost the damn thing.

So yea, after the founding the next group of ships to arrive showed up in 1590....only to find the colony totally devoid of any and all human life.....and any human remains. The Jamestown Settlers were actually supposed to be looking for evidence of what happened as part of their mission in the New World. And the English empire launched several other attempts to figure out what the fuck happened....as did the Spanish.

And heres the thing. WE STILL DONT KNOW, there are still just multiple conflicting and unproven theories.

So like most American failures/awkwardness we just declared a "do-over" and decided that it was easier and simpler to ignore it and pretend Jamestown was first.

Cause as you may have noticed that's the American way.

Top 10 historical facts all Americans are taught.....that are total bullshit. part 1

So as Americans there's a whole lot we take for granted about our country and our history...and its stuff we like to reference pretty much everytime we talk about the state of our country, how great America is, why America did X, ect.

Problem is, a whole lot of it is glossed over bullshit. But worse much of that is bullshit your teachers taught you, to promote America the myth we all want to believe in, not America it actually was.  Basically think it like turning off the lights so you can pretend your having sex with Mila Kunis, and not the "pretty cute" girl from apartment 212. We all kinda know this stuff isnt true, but we all really want to believe it.

These are ranked by my opinion of how unlikely the generic public are to know them, with the first fact being the one someone is most likely to know, and the 10th being the one people are least likely to know. I'm basing this scale just on how often I see/hear people get these wrong in conversation.

So here we go

1) John Hancock's signature on the declaration of Independence is HUGE because he had the biggest balls.

So yea, theres a good chance when you think of the signing of the Declaration it looks a little something like this:

And all those guys lined up and one by one signed the thing....starting with Hancock because he's the one who had the balls to go first.

Well here's the thing....that picture isnt real. I mean the painting itself is real....its in the rotunda of the US capitol. But the event depicted didnt exactly happen like that. Many of the people in the picture werent even in congress at the time, Many more wouldnt have been in the room, ect ect.

Now one thing that IS accurate and probably surprising to most people is that John Hancock is the man sitting in the chair.....because he was the President of the Convention (and you thought it was Washington....that would be the later constitutional convention).

Which basically meant that Hancock was the head of the Continental Congress...which at the time was the only branch of "government" the revolutionaries recognized....which basically made him the defacto head of state for soon to be former colonies. Which also meant he was the only person who had to sign the thing for it to have legal weight.

Thats the real reason his signature is so damn big....its the only one that was supposed to go on it. And by the way, his was the ONLY one on the copy of the declaration that was actually sent to King George. The version we all know and love would be signed over the course of a decade or so by many early Continental congressman....including some who werent actually there.

So yea, I know everyone thinks Hancock was ballsy, and his ballsyness actually got his name linked to the word Signature in american slang....but yea sorry.....BULLSHIT!

2)Constitution first governing document

So yea, everyone knows the founders signed the Declaration, won the war, made the Constitution and YAY AMERICA!

The part no one puts together in their heads though is that the Declaration was signed in 1776 and the Constitution was written in 1787, went into effect in 1788.

So yea, there is this really odd 11/12 year gap. So what exactly were we as a country doing during that period?  Yes I know, winning the revolution....but even that only takes us up to 1783. Plus even during a war you need some kind of government dont you?

Enter the articles of Confederation, drafted almost immediately after the Declaration in 1776 and formally ratified by all 13 colonies in 1781. (although thats only due to Maryland, the other colonies had all ratified by 1779).

Now the government under the articles of confederation supported a super strong state government (that could overrule the national one on many issues), and a really weak limited small national government. Also a national government that cant tax, or spend money (except to pay off the debt).

Now I'm sure at this point some people might notice, this sounds a little familiar, like say the vision of american government laid out by the republican party. Which is ironic because many on the right also think the Constitution is divinely inspired, yet it is it predecessor they wish to go back to.  I guess its hard to admit God needed a "do-over"

Of course it should also likely be pointed out the reason we switched is because the Articles were seen as being such a failure that the founders decided it wasnt even worth saving, said "fuck it" and started over again, this time with a [comparatively] much more powerful and larger National Government.

And since we all like to believe the founders were always right, we have never discussed the articles since, even removing it as much as possible from our history books.

3) emancipation proclamation freed slaves. Actually no. The emancipation proclamation freed no one.

I actually mentioned this one when I named Lincoln our greatest president a while back, but for those who didnt read that blog, a recap, for those who did read it....more details:

Ok so the actually entire thing is about 5 pages long, but its only the first couple of paragraphs that matter here

"That on the first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, all persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free; and the Executive Government of the United States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom."


"That the Executive will, on the first day of January aforesaid, by proclamation, designate the States and parts of States, if any, in which the people thereof, respectively, shall then be in rebellion against the United States; and the fact that any State, or the people thereof, shall on that day be, in good faith, represented in the Congress of the United States by members chosen thereto at elections wherein a majority of the qualified voters of such State shall have participated, shall, in the absence of strong countervailing testimony, be deemed conclusive evidence that such State, and the people thereof, are not then in rebellion against the United States."

Alright so lets translate that down to plain English.

First paragraph says that at the beginning of 1863 slaves are considered free.....BUT only if they reside in the states rebelling against the government.....(those being the states that wouldnt follow this edict anyways)

Second Paragraph says that at the beginning of 1863 any state that is not in active rebellion isnt bound by this anyways.

Which meant any state in the North/Union that had slaves (as 4 did) could keep them no problem.

At this point its worth noting that the Proclamation was made September 22nd 1862....but didnt go into effect until Jaunary 1863. The idea was to use those 5 months to "lure back" some of the southern states with the promise of being able to keep slavery if they rejoined before the deadline.

Of course the wording was made this obtuse intentionally, the second (and possibly more important) purpose of the Proclamation was to create the impression overseas that the US was coming out against slavery. This was because both England and France were in the process of making war materials (including ironclads) for the south......which might have allowed the south to win, however both countries also had laws prohibiting them from aiding a slave power in a war against a free power. So if the US looked like a free power, Europe would stay out of it.

And the proclamation worked in that respect, Europe saw what they wanted to see, as did much of th rest of the world.  It worked so god damn well that 150 years later its generally accepted as the document that freed ALL slaves, despite being intentionally set up to do the exact opposite.

Well played Mr. President, well played.

4) Founders wanted a democratic/representative government.

Not exactly. So while the founders clearly wanted a more representative form of government then they had under the king....in that they wanted a say of some kind, they actually went to pretty long and specific lengths to make the new government unaccountable to the people.

Ok so the american government the Founders laid out involved 3 branches. Now everyone knows the Judicial Branch is basically totally unaccountable to the people, the are appointed by the president and confirmed by the senate.

But the other 2/3rds of the government are accountable to the people right?

Not originally.

Ok so first the president. Alright so here's america's dirty little secret. YOU DONT GET TO VOTE FOR PRESIDENT EVER. even today this is true,

What you do get to vote for is a delegate to the electoral college, and THAT person votes for president a few weeks after the election, and that person actually doesnt have to follow the popular vote (I explained this and how it might work years ago in an early blog).

Now these day's I doubt any large enough group of electors would be dumb enough NOT to follow the popular vote, because of the massive shitstorm that would follow. But back in the day the president DIDNT campaign for the job,  and well electors switching up votes would happen all the time.

So yea, basically the electoral college was designed from the get go to make sure YOU couldnt actually directly vote for president......because you lacked the understanding to pick the right person (this is the actual logic by the way).

Which brings us to the 3rd and final branch of government. Now somewhat well known is the fact that until the passage of the 17th amendment, senators were not elected, but were appointed, making them unaccountable to the american public.

So thats already 2 branches and 1/2 of the 3rd originally designed to be unaccountable.

Now much less widely known however is that even the one sub-branch of government that is directly accountable was designed with an unaccountable check to it.

Ok so the current Speaker of the House is John Boehner, who also happens to the Representative from Ohio 8th district. And his predecessor was Nancy Pelosi who also happened to be the  Representative of California's 12th district, and so on and so on.

But it doesnt HAVE to be that way. According to the Consistution the US house can choose whoever the hell they want to be Speaker.......even someone who isnt actually in the House of Representatives. (which is never happened, but is possible). So while all speakers to date have been unelected by the overwhelming majority of the country, its actually possible to have one who was never elected by anyone anywhere.

 And it's worth noting that the positions of Minority and Majority leader didnt exist until the end of the 19th or beginning of the 20th century. So historically the Speaker had most of the potential power and control of the house....and was (and still is) unelected by the majority of american's (ditto for the Majority and Minority leaders, and Whips ect)

So yea, while for their time the Founders wanted a more Representative government than a monarchy, we as a county really dont like to talk about or focus on the massive intentional steps they took to keep any real power well out of the range of the common voter to impact/the steps they took to make the majority of government unaccountable to citizens.  

Now this is getting a little long, so I think I going to wrap up this part here. I should have the remaining 6 historical facts that are bullshit up soon (luckily most of those require less explanation so I should be able to do them all as one post). So yea, hopefully you now know 4 things you didnt know before, and will learn 6 more soon.  

The Republican Races......REDUX!

So yea, as any loyal readers (HA) to this blog know, my last 3 entries all involved showing how most of the GOP presidential field are clowns.

HOWEVER, I've never been accused of having the best timing. As I was writing those 3 entries, it turned out the evidence of clownlessness ( not a real word, so what?)  increased dramatically.

Also for the same reason, I've removed Cruz and Paul's immunity from this one.....since this just piles more clownage on top of the already proven.

We'll start off, as all good reaming's should, with Santorum.... ok so way the heck back in part 1 of my 3 parter that Rick Santorum basically said the Pope shouldnt talk about climate change only scientist could.  Which got kinda awkward since as it turns out, before becoming Pope, the Pope was in fact a scientist albeit a chemist.

Plus theres the whole problem of Santorum continuing to talk about climate change himself.

Or as FOX new's Chris Wallace put it: "If he shouldn't talk about it, should you?"

To which Satorum dug himself a bigger hole by replying  "We have to make public policy with regard to the environmental policy. … The point is, whether we like it or not, people in government have to make decisions with respect to our public policy that affect American workers."

So its cool for politicians to talk about it, because unlike scientists politicians make policy....scientists are just you know edumacted (sic).

Now luckily for the Pope, who I'm sure is still smarting from being to shut his whore mouth by God's Chosen Voice on Earth (Santorum), I've got some good news:

Vatican City is actually a recognized country. And the Pope is the elected head of that country. Which means the Pope is actually a politician, So he has to make decisions with respect to public policy that effect his constitutions....the Catholic Church.

So yea, I guess according to Rick Santorum, the pope can say whatever the fuck he wants.....unless Rick Santorum disagrees because according to Rick Santorum he out ranks the Pope.

Glad we cleared that up.

Moving on to clown #2...or more accurately clown's #2, #3 and #4. That being Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and Bobby Jindal (who I'm sure is absofuckinglutly thrilled to be the Moe to Larry and Curly on this one)

So, quick question: "Who is the greatest LIVING president?"

Now this shouldnt be a hard question, because there are only 5 possible answers. So how did the Republican Presidential Candidates do?

“I was a big fan, a very big fan of Ronald Reagan,”- Donald Trump
“Certainly the greatest president of recent generations was Ronald Reagan.” - Ted Cruz
“Obviously the greatest president of my lifetime is Ronald Reagan,” - Bobby Jindal.

So yea, heres the problem for those of you just waking up from an over a decade long coma.....Reagan is dead. No matter what you think of Reagan, he's not a valid answer to LIVING president.

Of course to be fair, this actually IS a hard question if your a Republican, as Rick Santorum's answer showed: “Probably a Bush,”. On the one hand, Rick Santorum's answer is valid...but on the other hand, talk about some shitty ass choices.

Yet another reason why the Republican Reagan Reverence, that they are forced to have, against their will or otherwise, is hurting them.

By the way, speaking of hard questions.....time to send in the next clown.

Senator Marco Rubio was on FOX news, and they asked him the mother of all fucking softball questions "Since you say you love the Wu-Tang Clan, who is your favorite member?"

To which Rubio's answer was ".....no....."

Dude fucking seriously? I mean I maybe can get not "understanding the question" when someone asks you if we should invade Iraq (again see part 1), but damn getting asked about things you yourself say you like and do is too fucking hard for you? Shit even I can name ODB (Ol Dirty Bastard) and I dont even like or listen to Wu Tang.

To be honest, that might actually be worse that Sarah Palin's answer about what newspapers she reads because she at least wasnt the one that brought up the subject of newspaper.

I mean damn son, if your going to pretend to like shit to pander for votes at least read the fucking Wikipedia page so you can name 1 god damn thing about them.

And now, we bring out the Clown King.

So yea, everyone remember the auto bailout? which you know basically saved american auto manufacturing? yea well,...it seems the some in the GOP kinda forgot.

Like say Ted Cruz, who last week said this about the bailouts:

"I don't think the federal government should be engaged in bailouts, Those industries would have survived and would have thrived." 

Which is kinda awkward because the industries DID survive and ARE thriving... Cruz seems to think they died off and went away given that he's speaking of their current status in the past tense. But then again Ted Cruz being out of touch with reality should surprise NO ONE.

In fact, he is going to stick around for our next and final entry....and this time he's going to be joined by the Clown Prince Rand Paul....

So who here has heard of Jade Helm? I'm going to hope for the love of national intelligence and sanity, no many of you. if you havnt (and I'm hoping that most of you) its the newest right wing conspiracy theory.

The gist of it is pretty simple: The military of the United States of America is gearing up for an all out invasion, and American take over of Texas in their latest training exercise.

Now I know what pretty much all of you are thinking. Hey wait a minute isnt Texas already part of the United States?

To which I say, congratulations your smarter than a republican presidential candidate.

Say for example Rand Paul, who gave this anwser when first asked "You know I've gotten a few questions about it on the road and I really don't—I'm not sure about exactly what is going on with that.[...]“We’ll look at that also"
Now on the one hand, I'm glad Paul didnt know about it, means hes not that tapped into crazy. On the other, that answer is incorrect. The correct answer is "of course the US military is in Texas, Texas is part of the US" and then if you want to pander "In fact the largest US military base, Fort Bragg, is in Texas and I plan on making a major stop there to thank all our brave men and women for their service"  
But hey, hopefully one of Rand Paul's staffers looked at a map for him when he looked into it......

But at least he did better than the Clown King Cruz who said
""My office has reached out to the Pentagon to inquire about this exercise,"

Can i just say, I hope for the love of god whoever got that request sent back a fucking map of the United States with a big ass circle around Texas.  And perhaps a note asking Ted Cruz what he THINKS his job is, cause he's the senator FROM texas and doesnt know what country he's in. And then hopefully forwarded the note from Cruz to the State Department so they can see if he's been illegally claiming diplomatic immunity as a foreign diplomat....

By the way special mention to former Texas Governor Rick Perry here too. he also got asked about Jade Helm.  His reply was its not going to happen.....but somehow he still fucked up.

“It’s OK to question your government. I do it on a regular basis, But the military is something else. Our military is quite trustworthy. The civilian leadership, you can always question that, but not the men and women in uniform.”
in otherwords, its actually a fair question to wonder if the Unites States government wants to invade the United States. It wont happen cause the military is loyal to the United States.....even the parts of it too fucking stupid to realize they are in the country.

I mean look in all fairness to Cruz and Perry, I realize that there have been 2 different occasions in which Texas was not part of the United States (1836-1846 and 1861-1865) but come on guys....its been a bit too long to get fucking confused on this point.

Now the good news is, that really was the final entry. After 4 parts I can finally wrap up this look at the republican presidential field.

The bad news though is that (baring a shocking late entry) there is an 100% chance one of this idiots will actually win the nomination. (although that is probably great news to the Democrat's nominee)