Getting outraged over sexy spiders.......

You know I'm always amazed at the shit that gets people fired up sometimes. Especially because it seems more and more frequently they miss the point.

Take for example, Marvel's newly released alternative cover for their new spider woman comic:

A lot of people are getting pissed because they say its way too oversexualizing of the character, and object to the fact it was drawn by a well known erotic artist.

Now on its face that seems all well and good. I mean quoting from the article in Elle about the picture

"All in all, the image seems to toe the line of pornographic; imagine Spider-Man in that position instead, and the concept would have never gotten this far." 

that seems fair right? After all Marvel would never ever put a male in that pose, that pose is purely sexual.

The Vox version of the article even outright points out the differences in how Spider Man and Spider Woman are drawn, stating
"To be clear, that is not how Spider-Man poses or is drawn when he climbs buildings:"
Then to drive the point home, they add a helpful picture of the two you can slide back and forth to see the difference. (you can take my word for it, or go to this link since i cant copy there image)

io9 gets even more specific stating "First of all, even the dumbest, horniest teenage boy on the planet knows there's no fabric on this earth that could possibly cling to Jessica Drew's individual buttocks like that. "

Point is though. Clearly Spider-Woman is forced into unnaturally sexy positions you would never ever ever ever ever find a man in.........

That picture by the way, is the cover of Amazing Spider-Man volume 2, number 30. Which was printed in June of 2001. Oddly I cant find any angry posts about the inherent sexiness of that pose and how its degrading to the character for that cover. Also to i09's point, I'm seeing a fair amount of ass cleavage, but I guess fabric can cling like that to man ass? 

Speaking of past covers no one seems to find objectionable:

.

And these are just the ones with Spider-Woman in them. Of course no one said anything at the time. I could find plenty of other much worse examples with other characters.

All of which leads me to one inescapable conclusion. The people who are outraged either dont know anything about comics or dont actually care about the sexiness. They care only that an erotic artist got a job drawing something that everyone still [incorrectly] believes are children's books. 

 Which is a shame, since they almost have a valid point. Comic book characters are overly sexualized. But lets be honest, some of that is inherent in the idea. These are idealized humans. I'm sure there are very few if any women who naturally look like Spider-Woman. Conversely I dont know very many men who look like this:

Just saying.

Now look I'm not going to lie, the playing up the overtly sexual/physical appearances isnt gender equal. Historically its weighted towards women. However an interesting thing has happened. Most of the images I've used so far are fairly recent (last 10-15 years), and theres a reason for that, thats the current marvel style. Now that style has a very detailed body with "depth" to it, so its a basically allows for much more realistic sexy image then this

That's Ms Marvel crica 1980, and that costume is [rightly] the usual go to default for people criticizing the sex appeal built in comic book characters (mostly women) at the time.

But this is her now, in her much less revealing, hailed as "not sexual" current costume:

 

I dont know about you, but I think I find this second lady much more attractive then the first.

Point is though, ever since Marvel adopted its current style, the sex appeal/sexy poses for Men and Women have gotten much closer. Yes it still learns towards women, but we are getting nearer to equality.....just not the equality people had in mind.

And thats a point everyone upset about Spider-Woman's new cover has missed. You can be against the sexiness of comic characters at this point, but if your only aiming it at women your missing half the point, cause men are strutting their stuff now too

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Incredibly unclothed Hercules....

Oh, hey ant man, what were you doing down there?

Furthermore of all the characters to pick on for being overly sexualized, they seem to have latched onto a awkward choice.

You see Spider-Woman isnt a Spider-Man clone. She has her own unique power set. Including Pheromone control, which she can use to make her opponent feel fear repulsion or attraction.

Thats right, she actually has the power to make her enemies (or friends) attracted to her....and how exactly would you depict that in a visual medium? by making her sexy looking. Which would kinda give marvel an excuse to make her look hot....shes using her powers

Oh and before you point out that's sexist to give that power to a woman, meet Starfox, the brother of Thanos (for those who've seen Guardians he didnt make it into the movie)

His superpower? he can stimulate your pleasure center with his mind (not touching the possible contexts for that with a 10 foot pole) and make you fall in love with him....or anyone else. Oh and did I mention his real name is Eros? And how did he get the name Starfox? Well according to the wasp, he came from the stars and he's foxy......

So yea. turns out Marvel's pretty equal opportunity on that too....well except that both Fox and Spider have been accused of using their powers on a lover......want to guess which one wound up in court fighting a rape change and which one got off scott free? I'll give you a clue, the fact that Marvel didnt make it clear enough Fox didnt rape the women (they stated it in the text, but as an aside after the trial that he hadnt done it, not at the trial himself) is one of the reasons he will likely never be seen again, readers incorrectly think he's a rapist so he's now bad PR for Marvel.

Whereas no one really mentions what Spider Woman keeps doing.....

Anyways point is, the overall argument the people who are outraged over the new cover are trying to make is for the moment still somewhat valid. Women are sexualized more than men in comics. But they likely could have picked a better [read earlier] time to do it, before things started to equalize, they should have picked a different hero then the one with a built in excuse as to why she might look unrealisitically attractive, and the definitely should have picked a different cover to fight over, and a better reason to fight, because as I showed, Spiderman, whom they all turned to to make their point, has been shown in exactly the same pose, which actually undercuts their argument of sexism. Which in turn hurts the valid part of their point.

Now thats the end of this rant, but before I leave you, I uncovered one more comic book cover while writing this that I want to include but didnt really fit well anywhere else:

Whatever Herc and Wolverine were doing right before this cover I DONT WANT TO KNOW!!!!!!!!

The war on Whites.

So it seems Congressman Mo Brooks is the first person to actually figure out the truly evil plans of the Democratic Party's stand on immigration reform. You see, you might think its about fixing a broken immigration system, or helping people brought here illegally as children. If your more cynical you might think its actually about pandering to Latino's by trying to convince them your policies are better for them. But you'd be wrong. You see Democratic immigration policies, nay ALL Democratic policies are actually about a WAR ON WHITES!!!!!!!!!

Or as Rep. Brooks put it, “This is a part of the war on whites that’s being launched by the Democratic Party. And the way in which they’re launching this war is by claiming that whites hate everybody else, It's part of the strategy that Barack Obama implemented in 2008, continued in 2012, where he divides us all on race, on sex, greed, envy, class warfare, all those kinds of things. Well that’s not true.”

Now first off I think we all need to admit the truth of Rep Brooks statement. If there is one group through-out american history that has been repeatedly victimized its white folks:

I mean just look at those poor guys. Not only are they required to hide their faces when they go out in public, they are forced to wear white robes to identify themselves publicly as white people, and forced to endure all the scorn that comes with it. Plus look at their chests, like the Jews in Germany they are forced to where a symbol identifying their religion and  singling them out for even more scorn. All thanks to the muslim socialist fascist President. Thanks Obama.

And its not like thats the only example. Take a look at this offensive mocking of the White People.

That woman is CLEARLY in White-Face. She's clearly mocking the chapped lips problem white people can have when its cold, the fact our noses can turn red when we are sick and the fact that our hair can grown in a wide range of colors. Point is its OFFENSIVE and needs to be stopped.

And its not like shes the only one:

Cant you just hear them "Hey dude, you know what would be HILARIOUS? lets all dress up like White People and walk around town for a while....you know with the 3 piece suits, the rosey cheeks, the sneers and weird mustaches" "Dude youre right, that would be TOTALLY EPIC"

So I mean, at the end of the day, you cant deny Congressman Brooks has a real point. Just look how badly white people are singled out in this culture.

Although then again, maybe the identification is needed. I mean, maybe its just me, but it seems I'm a little confused what a white person is.

You see I thought those were all white people (except for Sen Hirono). But it turns out most of them are Democrat's.

Same here:

And here:

Like I said, I thought all those groups were white. My mistake, I guess we really do need the hoods to tell the difference.

Now I know what your thinking, maybe they ARE white and some white folks vote democrat? Not according to Rep Brooks who tried to clarify his first comments with these:

"As best I can in the time limitations I have, I try to make sure people understand what the Democrats are doing by raising race as an issue every chance they get. It's much like the congressmen during the (immigration) debate on Friday: Democrat after Democrat was talking racism and race. And the motivation for their doing so was to try to cause bloc voters of race to vote solely on skin color.

I'm one of those who does not believe in racism and I believe everyone should be treated equally as American citizens. It's high time folks started calling out the Democrats for their racial appeals. Certainly if you were to flip the coin and a white person were to say vote for me because I'm white, it would be an uproar and deservedly so. So why do we allow blacks to say vote for me because I'm black or Hispanics vote for me because I'm Hispanic? Race is immaterial and everybody ought to be treated the same."

See. Democrats only run on the fact they arnt white and you should vote for them because you arnt white either. Its never been that the policy endorsed by Democrats is seen as being better for minorities by minorities One of the most famous examples of cheap vote for me due to my race pandering:

Now as we all famously know "ich bin ein berliner" actually means "I'm Hispanic so vote for me my Hispanic brethren". 

And I mean its not like JFK is the only one. This guy is famous for supposedly being America's First Black President:

  

Which is a TOTAL LIE. I mean we all know who America's first black president really was:

But then again, maybe he was Asian, I really cant tell apparently........but as America's first Democrat president we KNOW he wasnt white.

Point is though, Republicans would never NEVER run a candidate based solely on the fact they werent white and assume that would bring them minority votes.

Remind me again, why this clown was declared the Republican Frontrunner for 2016 8 seconds after the polls closed in 2012? Clearly it was because of his wealth of experience and policy like the famous [editors note find the name of a bill Rubio wrote that became law and edit this later] that he wrote and is now law.

By the way, is Marco Rubio still alive? I'm just saying no one seems to have mentioned him in like a year...ever since he laid out his policy ideas..........

Eh, must be a fluke that ever since he said what he actually stands for, Republicans wont support him, but before when he was only his appearance they loved the guy.

I do legitimately fully agree with one thing Congressman Brooks said though "[If] a white person were to say vote for me because I'm white, it would be an uproar and deservedly so." And credit to Congressman Brooks for having the guts to test and prove that theory personally.

5 most important Vice Presidents in US history.

So I thought this would be a cool follow up to my 2 recent 10 best/worst presidents list. Especially since as a rule the Vice President is kinda an unknown. In fact the only real requirements for most Vice Presidents has been to have a heartbeat......or in the case of Dick Cheney, a reasonable substitute.

So unlike our Presidents list, the rules for Vice President are a little different, their entire political career up until becoming vice president counts....however nothing they did after being Vice President will count, since this is about what made the important vice presidents, not people. (this is also to prevent the list from being populated by presidents who had been VP's)

Also, the rules for electing the Vice President changed in 1804 when the 12th amendment was passed. Prior to 1804 the Vice President was simply the runner up in the electoral college. Which also means the reasoning behind who became Vice President and why also changed in 1804. Therefore in order to ensure an even playing field (and give time to some lesser known VP's) the men who were VP prior to 1804, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and Aaron Burr are disqualified. However since the idea usually is that the VP is most important before the election, ALL other VP's including Joe Biden and Dick Cheney are eligible.

One last thing, please take note of the word IMPORTANT. This is not a best or worst list, just a list of Vice Presidents who did something that had a big impact, for better or worse.

First up we have:

Elbridge Gerry. 5th Vice President under Madison

Ever wonder why Gerrymandering is spelled with a G and not a J like is sounds? Because it was named after this guy. In 1812, Gerry "invented" (or perfected) the practice when, as governor, he approved a map of Massachusetts congressional districts that used lots of irregular shapes to make it much easier for his party to win seats in the states, and much harder for the opposition. Pretty much every time we redraw districts after the census the party in control of a state legislator that year will try to do the same thing Gerry did 200 years ago. And it can work really effectively.  Consider, in 2012, the Democrat's got 1.17 million more votes in House races then Republicans, but Republicans still hold a near 30 seat majority. How? because the democratic vote was spread out and mimimized into highly republican districts using gerrymandering in the 2010 redistricting (and to be clear, this is not an indictment of the GOP, the dem's would and have done the same, it just so happens the this is the most recent example). So yea, thats the power of Gerrymandering and lasting legacy of its originator, Elbridge Gerry.

On one last thing, it should also be noted Elbridge Gerry is the only person on this list to not have a post vice presidential career of some kind.....because he died 18 months into his term (the second of 7 VP's to die) prompting people everywhere to go "Dude you had ONE JOB! ONE FREAKING JOB! HAVE A HEARTBEAT! AND YOU FAILED!"

Number 4:

Andrew Johnson. 16th Vice President under Lincoln.

So somewhat shockingly, given his placement on my worst presidents list, Johnson is actually here for a GOOD reason. If you live in the midwest/great plains, you've likely heard of the Homestead Act, a congressional bill that gave public land to settlers to encourage westward expansion. In fact its arguably one of the main factors for all original US migration west of the Mississippi, and it was all the idea of this guy. In fact he introduced it for the very first time during his first term in office as a congressman in 1843....and basically spent the next 20 years pushing for it in both the house and the senate (with a 4 year break to serve as governor of Tennessee.) In an ironic twist however, Johnson would leave the Senate in 1862 just months before final passage occured. Unlike most of his southern ilk though, Johnson didnt leave due to secession, he actually left to become military governor of occupied Tennessee.  As military governor, Johnson, devoted to the Southern way of life (even if he supported the idea of the Union) got an exception for his state from the Emancipation Proclamation, ensuring no matter who controlled which parts of Tennessee after 1863, the whole state could keep their slaves. In another ironic twist, Johnson's final act as Military Governor, before assuming the Vice Presidency, was to sign into law Tennessee's new Constitution.....outlawing slavery forever.

Number 3: 

John C. Calhoun. 7th Vice President under Q Adams and Jackson.

Calhoun is famous in his own right, but most of the reasons he's famous come from his stint as a senator, AFTER being vice president (which it should be noted was not at all unusual, most still living ex Vice Presidents up until and including Andrew Johnson at least ran for the Senate). But he was actually pretty important before that senate stint as well.

First he's an AMAZING set of trivia answers, Second (and last) vice president to serve two different presidents, only vice president to serve two different parties, first vice president to resign the office.

And its actually that last one that gets him on this list. People may remember that when I was talking about Andrew Jackson on my worst presidents list, I mentioned he cant even take full credit for his crack down on nullification because his vice president had mainstreamed the whole idea? yea well this is that Vice President. And the idea of Nullification, was one the south pointed to as proof they could legally secede, and that idea had actually more or less entirely Calhoun's.  So in a nutshell he's kinda responsible for the civil war.

One other less important, but intended to be more positive thing Calhoun did: before becoming VP Calhoun had been Sec of War, and as such was supposed to oversee relations with native america's. In an attempt to better address relations with them, Calhoun created the Bureau of Indian Affairs inside the War department to draw up treaties with native tribes (which as far I can tell Calhoun assumed [incorrectly] we'd honor).

Number 2: 

Thomas Marshall, 28th Vice President under Wilson

Thomas Marshall was only the second vice president in history to serve two terms under the same president. The first was Daniel D. Tompkins under James Monroe a century before. But in addition to serving what was at that point a once in a century term, Marshall was also the first modern Vice President.

Most VP's had focused almost exclusively on their role in the legislative branch (as leader of the senate) up until Marshall. Although the Vice President would continue to preside over the senate regularly until Alvin Barkley (VP under Truman), Marshall would be the one to take the first steps to moving the Vice presidency into its modern fit as part of the executive branch. In fact he was the first to be regularly invited to cabinet meetings (although he often didnt attend after the first year or so), and was the first to be used as a surrogate on campaign speeches and later liberty bond/support the war (WWI) propaganda speeches, regularly.  This would lead to him being the first Vice President to actually conduct a cabinet meeting after President Wilson left the country to negotiate the Treaty of Versailles ending world war I.

Actually to be honest, Marshall had a chance to BE president in his own right. Not long after returning from europe, Wilson suffered a stoke that left him incapacitated. Many members of congress believed without Presidential leadership the Treaty might fail and "League of Nations" (a fore runner to the UN) certainly would (and did). So they called on Marshall to assume the powers of the President due to Wilson's incapacity. Marshall refused citing the precedent this would set for forcing a president from office for a sickness. (Wilson refused to officially admit to his incapacity, so legally it was if he was only ill). The ensuing battle and unsuress on correct legal policy would eventually lead to language clarifying when the Vice President was required to assume power in the 25th Amendment (paving the way for Bush Sr to assume the mantle of President a few times during Reagan's term while Reagan was undergoing surgeries). How many Vice Presidents do you know of who would pass at a chance to BE president? not to many and that alone makes Marshall remarkable.

However even outside of what he did as VP, Marshall was notable, and a kinda awkward pairing for the racist Wilson.  As governor of Indiana, Marshall took a trying to overturn the states Eugenics and Sterilization laws, at the height of such laws popularity in the country (and laws favored by future president Wilson) going so far as to order state institution to NOT comply with the law.  He also was opposed to capitol punishment and would pardon anyone sentenced to death during his term, as a result he was the first Governor to execute no one during his term in office.  He also helped pass Child Labor laws and Anti corruption legislation during his tenure.  All in all he made a rather activist liberal running mate paired with a somewhat conservative racist president.

Number 1: 

Richard Cheney. 46th Vice President under W. Bush

As if it was going to be anybody else. Dick Cheney is possibly the most powerful and influential VP in american history. Rumors persist that he was basically the senior partner and the one calling the shots during the first term of the W. Bush adminstration. He's credited as the architect of the Iraq war, and many of Bush's other policies during that time. He's also so modern I dont really need to go on about him, EVERYONE knows him and why he's famous. Which is actually unusual for any vice president, even the incumbent, and goes a long way to showing why he tops the list.

In fact the best example of his influence comes from hearing talking heads talk about the period between 2000 and 2008. Its just as often referred to as the "Bush/Cheney Administration" as it is just the stand alone "Bush Adminstration". In fact my prediction is in 100 years, Dick Cheney will still be the only vice president (other than the ones who became president) that any school kid will actually know.

(side note: the reason I dont have a "statue" picture of Cheney like I do everyone else is because the statue doesnt yet exist, not for any reason of bias)

So there you have it, the 5 most important Vice Presidents in history, 2 of whom you know, 2 of whom you likely never heard of, and 1 you likely never knew was VP.  

10 worst presidents in American history part 3

So we already covered the best of the worst, and the fairly bad of the worst, in our last two parts. Now its time to see who is worthy of the dishonor of being America's WORST president.

Leading off the final leg of the journey to historic suckatdue Number 3:

Andrew Jackson. 7th President

So I have a hunch a lot of people would call this my "biggest shock/outrage pick" yet, and thats after putting Washington at #4 on the Best List. And your welcome to that opinion.....but here's the thing, I dont get it.

There are very few famous Presidents in US history where some kind of argument cant be made to justify their high standing in the American Consciousness. In fact I can only think of two, Jackson and Reagan. And in Reagan's case, as vastly overrated as he is (and if this were a top 15 worst presidents list, Reagan would probably be on it) , he at least had some small redeeming qualities to his presidency.

That's more than can be said for Jackson.  I tend to think his entire public perception is based on the fact he was the first Democratic president, and since the first ever president, and the first republican were great, people assume he must be too. But its not true.

In fact, the one slightly redeeming thing Jackson did, force South Carolina down on the idea states can nullify federal law, comes with a giant asterisk.....the guy pushing for the idea of Nullification was Jackson's vice president. And this was in the post 12th amendment era, which was designed to make a fight between the President and Vice President much harder.....but at least Jackson replaced him for his second term.

Oh and you remember how I put Chester Arthur at #10 on the best presidents list because he over turned the system of patronage, known as the spoils system that had corrupted pretty much every president since it was put in place? Yea......Jackson is the guy who created it.

And maybe you've heard of the trail of tears in your elementary school? thats another of Jackson's great ideas. In fact his policy towards Native Americans was so bad, its not much of a stretch to compare his policy towards natives to Hitlers policy towards Jews. Hell he even went to war over trying to get rid of the Natives, in the Second Seminole War, america's most expensive war against natives. (and not one we won either, as anyone who roots for Florida State could tell you).

And his stand on African American's wasnt much better. His Attorney General once issued an opinion saying it was legal for the state of South Carolina to legally exclude any free blacks from entering the state. Jackson responded by later appointing his AG Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Oh by the way, this guy's name was Roger Tawney......the Chief Justice who wrote the Dred Scott Decision.

Most famously Jackson killed off the Second Bank of the United States, and ended centralized banking in the country. (side note, the Secretary of the Treasury who actually helped Jackson do this was Roger Tawney, prior to being Chief Justice.....this is how the spoils system works, you just kept kicking your friends higher and higher up the ladder). Now I'm not saying that was a mistake or anything. I'm saying that Jackson paid off the national debt in 1835 (the only time that has ever happened), killed the Bank in 1836, and by 1837 we had a debt of 3.3 million......which meant a lot more back then. Oh and then there was the Panic of 1837, the economic crash that possibly even beats out the great depression as the WORST crash in the history of the country. Technically its official "crash" date is less than 5 weeks after Jackson left office, but since the visible signs of a crash had started before he left, I'm going to break my rule slightly and blame the thing on him, because hey less than 5 weeks really cant be the new guys fault.  

It's also worth noting that in the 40 years before Jackson killed the banks, only two presidents failed to win a second term (the 2 Adams') and in the 100 years since Wilson restarted centralized banking, only 4 have failed to win a second term (Hoover, Ford, Carter, H.W. Bush), not counting those who died in their first term. However in that 80 year interim, only 4 presidents won back to back terms....two who won wars (Lincoln and McKinley) and 2 who were considered the heroes of those wars (Grant and T Roosevelt). Now the reason a lot of those presidents lost in those 80 years was because, as a rule, the economy was in the toilet,

Basically, ending the Second Bank was a historically bad decision, that really could only be beaten by a couple of worse decisions.....which brings us nicely to Number 2:

 

Franklin Pierce. 14th president.

The fact that Pierce was nominated on the 34th round of voting at the 1852 Democratic Convention was probably a sign he was going to suck. Sadly no one knew how much.

First there was the Ostend Manifesto, which was drafted by Pierce's ambassadors and state officials, which was designed to give a rational to going to war to annex Cuba as a slave state (possibly two slave states) if Spain refused to sell it to us. Luckily this didnt happen.....but only because something worse did.

Perhaps you've heard the term "Bleeding Kansas"? that would a mini Civil War (or arguably the start of THE civil war) that raged in Kansas over its admission as a slave or free state starting in 1854.

Well that was Pierces fault. You see the territory of Kansas wanted to come in as a state (well two states, Kansas and Nebraska), and under the preexisting laws at the time, both would have come in as free states since they were north of the Missouri Compromise line. Well pro slavery forces, including the President, objected and instead changed the law to allow "popular opinion" to decide if the states would be free or not. Which worked so well, the first election held on the issue in Kansas had more votes cast then people living in Kansas at the time. And that election led to a Pro slavery Constitution and government. Congress sent a committee to Kansas to look into the results, and the committee declared the results invalid and called for a new election. The second election (which was policed and closer at least to being a real and fair election) nominated an anti slavery government and an anti slavery Constitution. Pierce for his part had the anti slavery government declared insurrectionists, which would be quickly followed up by an attack and sacking of the anti slavery town of Lawrence, and so on and so forth it would go, in fact the bloodshed of bleeding Kansas would only officially end in 1861....not because the fighting stopped but because the fighting in Kansas became national and was absorbed into the Civil War.

Which brings us to our number 1, and unlucky winner of the WORST DAMN PRESIDENT AMERICA HAS EVER HAD:

James Buchanan. 15th president. 

You know, I'm convinced part of the reason Lincoln is seen as such a great president is because he followed these two jackasses. (the fact that both of Lincolns immediate successors are also usually on these "bad lists" likely helps as well)

For starters he had the bad luck to be in office when Dred Scott was issued....although he was hardly a critic of the decision.

But mostly his administration consisted of taking everything Franklin Pierce had done and making it worse.

For example, Pierce had refused to recognize Utah for admission to the Union....mostly because he didnt like polygamists. When Utah tried again after Pierce left office Buchanan sent the military to replace the governor by force. (so yea a military overthrow of a duly elected government). The plan was stopped when the Mormons took up arms and raids all over the territory, the army backed off and Buchanan basically ignored the state for the rest of his term.

He also got involved in Bloody Kansas. He appointed a new governor to hold yet another election to decide if Kansas would be free or slave......well sort of. You see the options to vote were "a Constitution with slavery", and a "Constitution without slavery", except the second choice actually meant not that Kansas was a free state, but only that it would ban the future importation of slaves into the state.....something that basically would have been unenforceable. Not shockingly the "With slavery" option won, despite most Kansans being against slavery. Buchanan then instantly publicly endorsed this Constitution as the legitimate one, only to see it go down in flames in congress. (in fairness to Buchanan's hand picked governor, he resigned after seeing the options for the vote not wanting to be involved with the injustice)

But here's what lands Buchanan at the number 1 spot.....he was the president in office when the South Seceded. South Carolina went first in December of 1860, Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana and Texas would all follow, and the Confederate States would officially be created while he was in office. Hell Jefferson Davis was even sworn in while Buchanan was in office.

However the big problem was actually that as the states seceded they confiscated all federal property in their respective states, much of which was fortifications and the weapons needed to fight the civil war.

Buchanan's response was to decide that this really wasnt his problem, he'd be out of office in 4 months or less (he'd already lost his reelection bid), stick his head up his ass and do nothing.

Which is possibly the biggest dereliction of duty of any president in US history....even John Adams and Andrew Jackson at least threatened to put down uprisings with military force, Buchanan couldnt even be bothered to do that.

So yea, for basically abandoning his duty, James Buchanan is america's worst president EVER!.

So there you have it folks, America's 10 best.....and 10 worst presidents.

That said I would feel a little remiss if I didnt include my runner up for 10 worst presidents, especially since I did a runner up for 10 best presidents (Harry Truman). Except that in this case, we have a tie.  

The two guys who just missed making the cut would be Warren Harding and Calvin Coolidge, the 29th and 30th presidents. Both these guys benefited highly from the fact I cant blame them for the Great Depression because it didnt happen while they were in office, even though it was pretty clearly their policies that led to it (which they still take heat for even under my rules since the policies were bad at the time in many cases). 

However even without that, they both still came close to making my list, Harding for the Teapot Dome and Veterans affairs and Justice Department scandals (all involved his appointees basically stealing money from the government), and Coolidge for his response (or lack of) to the Great Mississippi Flood of 1927, leaving flood damage that was only surpassed by Hurricane Katrina.  The only thing that knocked the two of them off was a sense of obligation that I had to include the only president to resign and the one who oversaw the most corrupt administration ever. I would say that Nixon and Grant were actually better presidents than Harding and Coolidge (especially Harding), but I just couldnt justify not including such historic levels of corruption, so Harding and Coolidge got moved off the list.

Finally for those who are interested in partisanship, the final party tallies are as follows:

On the 10 best presidents list:  4 Republicans, 4 Democrats (5 counting the runner up), 1 Democratic-Republican, and George Washington who had no party.

On the 10 worst presidents list: 3 Republicans (5 counting the two runner ups), 4 Democrats, 1 Federalist, 1 Whig, and Andrew Johnson, whom I cant decide what party to stick him with.

Since I didnt really consider party affiliations when I put these lists together, I find it kinda interesting its basically an even balance all around.   

10 worst presidents in American history part 2

Last time out we showed you the best of the worst, with the 10th 9th and 9th worst president in history....now its time to move much much closer to the worst of the worst.

And we lead off with Number 7

Herbet Hoover. 31st president

Hoover draws the short straw on this list. You see he's mostly here because of the Great Depression which started 4 months into his term. The thing is, 4 months into your term means your still working with the last presidents final budget. Which means their is a good argument to be made the blame should rightly go to Calvin Coolidge or Warren Harding, the two previous presidents, who economic policy likely did cause the collapse, but thats not how the rules work so we have Hoover.

And actually to be fair to Hoover, he did alot more to combat the depression than he usually gets the credit for, including laying the groundwork for a minimum wage, and 8 hour work day, which were expanded on to much greater affect by his successor. He also signed the Glass–Steagall act, which was designed to regulate   banks and keep them disconnected from the stock market. By the way it should be noted that not long after Glass-Steagall was repealed by president Clinton, the Great Recession started, so maybe Hoover was on to something.

Now that said, Hoover would still make this list in his own right, because of the Bonus Army.
For those who dont know the Bonus Army was a group of WWI vets whod been promised a Bonus for their service by the Federal government that was supposed to be paid in 1945, but due to Depression wanted their money early.

Hoover responded by sending the US army, under the command of General Douglass MacArthur after them. Hoover had given strict orders to only push the protesters out of the city, but not to disturb their encampment, orders MacArthur, who believed the real purpose of the Bonus Army was to take over the government, refused to follow, and had his army charge the camp, injuring over 50 veterans and family's, arresting over 130 more, and two deaths. Hoover's reaction to his orders being openly disobeyed and the resulted arrests, injuries and deaths was basically "its not what I wanted, but hey shit happens" and he did nothing about it. That alone would get him a spot on this list.

Next up Number 6:

John Tyler. 10th President

Of all the presidents on this list, Tyler is probably the most important based on his impact on the Presidency. See Tyler was the first Vice President to become President after the death of his predecessor and therefore set the standard for all future Vice Presidents, with his insistence that he WAS in fact THE president, and not the Acting President, as many at the time saw him to be, and that a new election wasnt needed and he was entitled to finish out his predecessors term.

But that aside Tyler was horrible president. In theory he was a Whig, until they voted him out of the party after he became president and vetoed their entire agenda. In fact he was so bad, his entire cabinet, save one, resigned, not out of scandal, but simply because they refused to work with him.  He was also the first president the House ever tried (and failed) to impeach.

All in all, he is well deserving of his spot on this list.

Next up, Number 5:

John Adams. 2nd President.

   Alright, no one can deny that John Adams is likely one of the most important and great people in american history.....the thing is, all of that is for shit he did before becoming president, as president he kinda sucked ass.

For starters he requested congress to pass, and signed into law the "Alien and Sedition acts", which basically made it a crime to speak out against the government (What First Amendment?) and increased the wait time for Citizenship for first generation immigrants to 14 years......and keep in mind this was at a time in which there were almost no 2nd generation Americans. Side note, it should be noted Thomas Jefferson beat adams for reelection by pledging not to enforce these laws....even when still on the books (so thats how that tradition of selective enforcement got started, although it doesnt really weigh into an evaluation of Adams)

Then there is the Quasi-war, which was actually America's first war as a recognized country. But its called the Quasi-war because Congress never actually voted to go to war. So yea if your wondering where that tradition that the President can unilaterally declare war started.....well here you go.  

And of course, as I pointed out in the Jefferson bit I did for Best President, John Adams, and his Vice President, Thomas Jefferson, broke the damn government, to the point a constitutional amendment was needed to change how the Vice President and President were elected so as to ensure fighting of the level those two had could never happen again. Jefferson dodged the blame in my Best Presidents ranking because he wasnt president when that happened......Adams was though so he's gonna take the hit.

The one positive to come out of Adams sole term as president was the appointment of Chief Justice John Marshal to the Supreme Court, as Marshal was likely the best Chief Justice in history, and certainly the most important for designed the roll the Court should play in the government.

But that one shining spot does not a great president make and it should be no surprise that John Adams was 1 of only 2 presidents in the countries first 40 years not elected to a second term (the other was his son....Ouch talk about a disliked family)

Number 4:

Andrew Johnson. 17th President

Alright folks, pop quiz time; Was Andrew Johnson a Democrat? a Republican? or a 3rd party President? 

Now if you answered "Yes" at any time you are correct. If you answered "No" at any time you are also correct.

See turns out no one really wants to take credit for this guy. He was a Democrat who was nominated to be Vice President at the Republican convention on the Constitutional Union ticket. Meaning any of those groups could claim him.....and had he not been a total fuck up, likely would. Instead each party claims he really belongs to the other.

Johnson is most famous for being the 1st president to be successfully impeached by the House.....although I hate to tell you this, it was even more bullshit than the Clinton impeachment, as in order to impeach Johnson the Congress had to pass a law to make illegal something Johnson had already said he was going to do (replace a member of his cabinet) that all presidents had done.....and then they repealed the law when his successor came in.    

But there is a reason they wanted to get rid of him that badly, he was still a shit president. Mostly because unlike Lincoln, Johnson didnt see the enfranchisement or even the rights as citizens of African American's as remotely relevant to readmitting states, and basically turned a blind eye to state after state enacting "Black Codes" which were basically a predecessor to Jim Crow, but also in many cases happened to reduce blacks to a situation very similar to slavery. Most included a provision that made it illegal for a black person to not be working, and anyone caught doing so could be arrested. In order to avoid this black folks had to have a contract to work the land of a nearby farmer.....and the contract could prohibit them from leaving without permission. They could also restrict the rights of African Americans to own land or other property, including firearms (second amendment anyone?) or make it legal to not allow blacks to vote....(which is why the 15th amendment was later needed)

Basically, Johnson gives Wilson a run for his money as America's most racist president, has none of Wilson's positives, and was more despised by congress that Tyler or even Obama. Hence his winding up at #4 on our worst presidents list.

Which raises an interesting question.......how much of a fuck up do you have to be to get the Number 3-1 spots? You'll have to come back next time to find out.

10 worst presidents in American history part 1

So last time around I covered the 10 best presidents in american history. BUT prehaps more interesting than the 10 best is the 10 worst presidents. As a rule we immortalize the great but banish the bad into the fog of history. So while many many people have heard of my 10 best picks (or at least 9 of them), it will be interesting to see how many people have even heard of the 10 who make up the worst list, let alone think they are sucky presidents.

Now the same rules apply to this as applied to the best presidents, Obama, W Bush, W. Harrison, and Garfield arnt eligible for the same reasons they were left out of the best presidents.  And of course, these men are weighted ONLY on their presidency, not on things they did before or after

So with that in mind here we go with Number 10:

Ulysses Grant. 18th President

Truth be told, its actually a shame Grant makes this list. As president he was actually really good. First he got the Tenure of Office act repealed, an act that had basically been invented by congress to justify impeaching President A Johnson. Then he had the radical idea of actually appointing a Native America, Ely Parker to head up the Bureau of Indian Affairs, the first and only president to do this. He helped get the 15th amendment, allowing the right to vote to be given to African American males passed, combined with the Naturalization Act of 1870, allowing African Americans to become naturalized citizens. He established the Department of Justice, and passed the Force Acts of 1870 and 1871 to try to clamp down on the Klan.

So why is he here? well quite honestly its everyone elses fault. Grant has the distinction of presiding over the most corrupt administration in history.

For example the "Gold Ring" Scandal was an almost successful attempt to corner the gold market, that involved Grants Brother in law, and Grants actions allowed the scandal to move forward (although his actions were done in "ignorance" following corrupt advise and not personal corruption) and his attempt to fix it crashed the economy with the original "Black Friday".

Or the Whiskey ring, that involved Republican politicians across the country, a bunch of tax collectors and Whiskey makers in a scheme to steal the governments share of taxes on alcohol, in which Grant himself was deposed as part of the investigation.  Or the Star Route scandal, where the Postal Service auctioned off southern and western routes to private postal services at over-inflated contracts. Or the New York Custom House Ring, where custom officials were overcharging to store goods, and pocketing the difference. Or the Salary Grab, a budget bill Grant signed (he had to or risk a shut down) that raised both his salary and congresses.....but also included a retroactive raise for the previous congress (which is blatantly illegal).

Or the Delano Affair and the Pratt & Boyd affair, which forced the resignations of Grants Interior Secretary and Attorney General for corruption, or the Trading post ring which lead to the impeachment and resignation of his War Secretary.

Oh and then their was the replacement between terms of Grants Vice President, after his first VP had to resign due to the Crédit Mobilier scandal which was basically a bribe to congress by a railroad company. In fairness to grant though, the scandal itself happened under Lincoln, just happened to be exposed under him. Still losing your VP to scandal is a big problem when it comes to claiming to be a good president

And with that many scandals in one administration, it doesnt matter how good a president you were personally, you kinda have no choice but to end up on this list, albeit at the bottom of the list.

And now Number 9

Richard Nixon. 37th President

You knew he was going to be on the list. In fact I think their is a law that says he must be on any top 10 worst presidents list. In fact if anything is surprising its likely how low he placed on the list. After all he is the only president to ever resign, and likely would have been the only president impeached and convicted if he hadn't.

But here's the thing, outside of watergate he really wasnt a bad president. For example even his critics praise him for his work in China and his visit to that country. He started phased withdrawals from the Vietnam war, and the year before he resigned, the draft ended. He also signed SALT I, which was the start of the drawdown of the cold war. He also created the EPA.

I mean heck, that resume alone would land him at near the top 10 best list, if not on it (admittedly near the bottom).....but then there's Watergate, which itself and the impact of it on American Politics, puts him near the bottom of a different top 10 list.

And now on to our last entry in this installment, our Number 8 worst president:

Woodrow Wilson. 28th President.

Like the two men below him on the rankings, Wilson did do a couple of things right, he passed the Federal Reserve Act which brought much longer periods of economic stability then had existed since Andrew Jackson destroyed the Second Bank of the United states. And he established the Federal Trade Commision and signed the Clayton Anti Trust act, building on, and solidifying the Trustbusting started under Teddy Roosevelt.

And of course he is the genius that came with the "14 points" peace plan to end World War I that likely could have prevented World War II. Except that he did such a horrible job of Politicking it that no one listened to him. Heck even the US congress wouldnt allow the US to take a seat in the League of Nations, the only part of the plan Wilson sold Europe on. So while it was a genius idea, it actually undercuts Wilson's standing because of how poorly executed it was.

And he was also a racist little shit. He's famous for thinking the uber racist retelling of american History, that put the Klan as the driving and heroic force in US history, was pretty accurate. But did you know he also RE-segregated the federal government?

Yea thats right, the federal government was already integrated, this asshole came up and undid it. Even the anti african american semi pro slavery Andrew Johnson didnt try to institute slavery, and didnt really want to. Thats how racist this SOB was.

But what really lands Wilson at this point on the list is the Lusitania. For those who dont know the Lusitania was a luxury liner that was sunk by the German's claiming it was smuggling weapons to the British to aid them in World War I. 125 Americans were killed in the sinking.

Now here's the thing, the Lusitania was sunk in 1915. In 1916 Wilson won reelection by pledging to keep the US out of the war. In 1917 the US citing the unprovoked attack on the Lusitania and the lies about its smuggling weapons as the as the reason to declare war on Germany.

Except as it turns out, the Germans weren't lying. in 2008 scuba divers proved the ship had been carrying weapons. And that the president would have known that back in 1915. Which means he lied us into World War I, but only when it became politically advantageous, and after winning reelection based on the lie he wouldnt take us into war. Those double lies hurt Wilson as he is dragged kicking and screaming from his usual spot in the 10 best presidents list where he usually shows up, to this spot on my 10 worst presidents list.

Next time, just like with the best presidents list, our next installment will feature our 7th, 6th, 5th and possibly 4th worst presidents of all times. With Nixon already out of the running, it will be interesting to see who tops the list by the time we get to part 3.  

  

America's 10 greatest presidents Part 3

Alright folks its time for the 3 GREATEST PRESIDENTS IN AMERICAN HISTORY!!!!!!! 

(link to part 1 and part 2 for those just joining us) 

But who's it gonna be? After all several traditionally highly regarded presidents have yet to make an appearance.  

Maybe it will be the Great Emancipator Abraham Lincoln.
Maybe it will be the Great Communicator Ronald Reagan
The man who won World War I, Woodrow Wilson

The man who won World War II, Franklin Roosevelt
The father of the Democratic Party, Andrew Jackson
The man who set american foreign policy for a century, James Monroe
The man who ushered in the Nuclear Age, Harry Truman.
A soft spoken man with a big stick, Teddy Roosevelt.
The father of the bill of rights James Madison. 

Consider, with only 3 spots left, 2/3 of those guys, as respected as they are, and as famous as they are wont even make the cut to top 10........and that assumes I dont throw in a dark horse no one sees coming.

So whos Great, and who's so so? a final definitive answer is coming your way.......just as soon as I waste enough space to knock the picture of Number 3 down far enough to not give it away without scrolling.

And here we GO, the countdown is on with NUMBER 3:

Theodore Roosevelt. 26th President.

Teddy is the third person on the list to become President after his predecessor was assassinated. He's also one of the easiest presidents to justify on this list....in fact I could do it in one word "Trustbuster"

Basically you remember the whole "too big to fail" crap from the great recession? well according to Teddy that meant you were too big to exist, he made his presidency trying to prevent corporations from taking over an entire market or industry/preventing competition by controlling the market for a good.

On top of that, he literally helped clean up america.  Pure Food and Drug Act, signed that. Federal Meat Inspection Act, signed that too.  Was honorary president of the American School Hygiene Association while still actually president and held the first Conference on the Care of Dependent Children.

He also created the National Park system, and appointed the first Jew to a cabinet position Oscar Straus, Secretary of Commerce and Labor.

Oh and did we mention the Nobel Peace Prize he won for ending the Russo Japanese war?

So actually the question should be, "Why isnt teddy roosevelt higher?"

Well it turns out their are two reasons......the first is actually the Panama Canal.
Look no one can deny the Canal has been a HUGE benefit for US trade and Naval services for a century now, and its much better and faster than having to go all the way around the tip of South America.

The problem lies in HOW he got it.  See he tried to buy the land from Columbia, they refused. So TR sent the US navy down there, and encourage rebels in the Panamanian province of Columbia to rise up....while also telling the Colombians not to interfere or else. After his successful revolution was staged and Panama created, TR bought the land from them instead.  Thats some pretty underhanded shit when you think about it, and one of the earliest examples of the US belief that they can dictate decisions for other counties and they better go along with it or suffer the consequences.

The other issue holding TR at third, is that most great presidents face either a domestic crisis, or a foreign menace, and he faced neither, in the grand sceme of things, his administration was pretty quite, wedged in between Civil and World war.    

 

Number 2:

Franklin Roosevelt. 32nd president. 

To be honest, their is also most no point in going over FDR's greatest strong points, most people already know them, he got us out of the depression, with the new deal, set the basis, if not the core idea for all government aid programs from his administration forward, and helped the allies win World War 2.

But he's got a few lesser known accomplishments as well. He partly undid his Cousins mistake and renegotiated a treaty with Panama to no longer make it a US protectorate, he did the same thing in Haiti and Cuba, and signed the Montevideo Convention, which basically said the US would stop assuming it had unilateral power over all decisions made in the Western Hemisphere and would recognize the sovereignty of other western hemisphere nations. He also issued Executive Order 8802 which prohibited discrimination based on race in the defense industry, a forerunner to the Civil Rights act and Title VII signed by LBJ. Oh and he appointed Francis Perkins as Secretary of Labor, making her the first female Secretary.  

Which is not to say Roosevelt didnt have his negatives. He did. However most of them were actually totally legal, just bad ideas (for example his court packing scheme, which was done completely legally....just not very intelligently). There were two major exceptions to that though, and they cost him the Number 1 spot.

With Executive Order 6102 FDR forced Americans to sell their gold to the US government at a set price, for the betterment of the national economy. Now granted that we got out of the Depression not long after, we might be able to debate the effectiveness of the order, but its still pretty blatantly unconstitutional. 

As was the infamous Executive Order 9066. If you happen to be of Japanese decent, I wouldnt mention that number near your grandparents. See that was the Order used to justify the rounding up of ALL persons of Japanese decent in the US, including america citizens, taking their property and putting them in forced relocation camps based solely on their national origin. There are very few actions by any president I can think of that were that against the idea of America, and the couple I can think of were technically legal, which I find hard to believe Order 9066 was.

So yea, really with that one act, FDR took himself right out of the top spot and gave it too.......

NUMBER 1:

Josiah Bartlett. 

 I'm Kidding........

Number 1 for real:

Abe Lincoln. 16th President.

As if it could be anyone else really. Lincoln gets loads of credit and rightly so, for guiding the country through the civil war. And much like FDR I dont really need to drone on and on about his great achievements, everybody knows them all. Although I will say in my opinion his greatest achievement was the emancipation proclamation, a document that did nothing, and was designed as a FOREIGN policy document,  masquerading as a world changing domestic policy.

See heres the thing, the proclamation was issued to keep France and England out of the civil war, as both countries were talking about supporting the South (and England was even in the process of building Ironclads for the Confederacy) but also had governments that would not support a slave power against a free power. So the Proclamation was supposed to make the US look like a free power, yet didnt actually free any slave in any territory controlled by the US (which included 4 slave states, most of a 5th, half of a 6th New Orleans, and parts of VA), only in territories in open revolt against the government.....where the proclamation wouldnt have been considered law. Yet somehow the damn thing worked  and everybody bought into in.

Now Lincoln does have one big, and somewhat ironic negative, he kinda shit all over the Constitution, probably violated it more times than any other president in history, and I wouldnt be surprised if he beat all the rest of them combined.  Consider even Lincolns decision to fight the war was unconstitutional since he claimed the South was still part of the country and therefore he was raising an army inside the US to fight American Citizens.  Now yes, some of his violations, like suspending the writ of habeus corpus, went a bit too far, but even that wasnt widespread enough to knock him off the top of the mountain.

So there you have it, the 10 greatest presidents in history. At some point soon I hope to compile a list of the 10 worst presidents in American history, and spoiler alert, a couple of the names I listed at the start actually wind up on that list.  

Also as a final side note, in the entry for JFK I said in my original ranking Kennedy wasnt in the top 10, for those who are wondering the guy he knocked out was Harry Truman, who had been number 9. I knew I wanted Arthur at 10, so it was a hard choice between Truman and Ike (who had been 8) for that spot, but I picked Ike because in part hes a bit lesser known as president, and Truman put a lot of "the pieces together" but it was Eisenhower who really used them to best effect.